A word before the game
Our favorite ex UCLA player who is really only our faves because his name is fun to say, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, otherwise known as The Prince, is ready for action. The other Luke aka Mr. Money Shot is out with some respiratory issues. I told you everyone was rippin on him... we'd be failing you by not sharing at least some of it.
1st Quarter
Sun Yue in his uniform tonight, and had we not seen this game already we'd bet money on whether he'd see any PT tonight. And we'd have lost all of that money sadly.
11:04 Kobe always yells at his free throw balls to "get up!"
10:47 Sasha's been issued a gag order? We can only imagine why that headband is keeping his mouth shut tonight.
Since nobody is bothering to really score any points we thought it'd be a great time to point out how the Bucks have probably the nastiest looking uniforms in the league. Even in December they aren't fun to look at.
9:31 The first non free throw points of the game have finally been scored, elminating our thoughts of this being a basketless game.
8:36 Everyone does everything right with that steal and half court pass to the break away player. Everyone that is, except the break away player. Radman attempts to murder Malik Allen instead. Good times.
6:36 Richard is on his second foul. Lets keep an eye on this shall we? Especially since Milwaukee still only has 5 points.
You gotta love when the team forgets to inbound the ball. Do they not want the possession?
3:49 Derek Fisher manages to make a shot in the paint and as such, Coachy McCoacherson (Skiles) manages to take a T for his team. Just the game interruption everyone was hoping for huh?
Stu Lantz mentions Trevor being a crowd favorite. Everyone is a crowd favorite in Lakertown... well, unless your name is Smush or Kwame... but other than that!
23.0 Kobe
24-16 Lakers in the boringest quarter this season
2nd Quarter
10:42 "Trevor Ariza blows the easy one." Understatement of the year.
10:30 Jordan takes the fast break but doesn't bother making sure it goes in. Mmmkay?
10:16 Jordan takes the fast break but doesn't bother making sure it goes in. The fuck Jordan?
9:51 Someone obviously put the floor together wrong at Staples, forcing Ariza to step out of bounds with the ball in his hands.
9:22 R. Jeff with his 3rd in 6 minutes of play. More good times.
9:12 Andrew Bynum just went for a swim. Even on the second viewing of this game we have no idea why he was on the floor like that.
8:11 There's Jordan Farmar again. Who put out his fire. Seriously? Is he sad that his best friend aka the best player on the Lakers this season is at home with an illness? Is that preventing him from performing? That's probably what's wrong with Richard Jefferson as well. $10 says the two of them are auditioning for each other as "Luke's best best friend". As far as we can tell neither of them are winning.
Oooh looky! Another celebrity interview we don't really care about. Couldn't they have at least gotten Matt Kemp a seat in the venue. He's sitting somewhere near a tunnel or some such. He's bff with Trevor in case you missed his entirely too long and irrelevant interview.
So one of the fun features of the replay on Prime Ticket is that the skip portions of the game - which is usually fine but we think they may have skipped something that was important but don't worry the score is still ridiculously low.
1:32 Radman tries to block a shot he knows he can't block. He doesn't block it for the record and he gives an And 1 to the Bucks just for shits and giggles.
43-31 Lakers in a slightly more entertaining quarter or something
Halftime
It's quite strange watching a game when you already know the outcome. What is the point of getting all worked up over it? Ok, not this game but we watched the Derek Fisher 0.4 game right before this and well... it was hard to breathe watching the 48433937928 time outs that were taken right before that shot was put up on accident by Derek who ran straight to the locker room. And whats the deal with running off the court when you make the Hail Mary shot anyway? And while we're 'what's the deal'ing... what's the deal with the Chinese having their last names first? We're talking to you Sun Yue and Yi Jianlin (sp?).
3rd Quarter
11:50 Kobe slams it home on the first play of the quarter. That'll wake the crowd up.
9:36 Can we please get Andrew Bogut a technical free throw so he can high five himself? That's pretty much the best video clip we've ever seen out of the NBA.
9:11 Richard Jefferson still sucking... don't worry.
8:39 Told ya... 4 fouls for The Jeff. That should keep him rested for his dedication ceremony tomorrow at Arizona. We're not real fans of the entire state of Arizona - though we're just noticing how much that's almost Ariza - sorry anyone in Arizona, except for the people who made us dislike it.
Knowing that in his post game interview Derek is more than a little bit excited about taking his wife out on a date; Does a player play better when he knows he's gettin' lucky later in the night? Derek J. Fisher has been on fire all night long.
Due to time constraints (lack of planning) we rejoin the game with 1:25 left in the 3rd. So again, we missed some of the great plays, if by great we mean terrible. And someone bleeding to death, but no matter how diligently he checked himself it wasn't Pau... So terrible was the play that the score at the end of the quarter looks like:
74-54 Still the Lakers probably because (as we were just shown) they have something like 20 more free throws than the Bucks
4th Quarter
Can they hold onto this lead? A good friend of mine (S) once said, "If my past is any sign of my future, you should be warned before I let you inside." So according to that the answer is probably and most likely no. Don't believe all the crap your friends tell you.
11:40 Trevor steals the ball but fails to do anything about it on the other end. And so it begins.
11:00 Trevor can't really deal with other people having the ball and just sticks his arm up and takes it for his own. Jordan goes chasing it down the court, which is odd because nobody else is even bothering with it. We vote that if nobody is going to care about the ball running away, it shouldn't matter if it goes out of bounds, just let the team with the steal have it. Oh yeah and then Andrew got some free throws out of all of that or whatever.
8:57 According to Stu Jordan just had a great change of direction. That direction change was: standing up - laying flat on his face. Nice.
8:53 Over and back! Good job Lakeshow.
Stu doesn't mind telling us that Mr. Jefferson has like 3 points. Remember that foul count is at 4 and minutes played is somewhere around 9. Remember when Richard Jefferson was somebody important in the game of basketb... okay perhaps "important" was going a bit far, lets say "relevant", or "contributory"? Yeah, one of those.
7:41 Josh Powell sighting!
7:15 And now Chrissie is up!
The consensus here is that The Five Million Dollar Gatorade Man is at home choking on his respiratory thinking about how he could have had some serious PT tonight.
6:00 Remarkably we're at the half way point of the quarter and the Lakers still have a sizeable lead. Say what?
Someone also pointed out that Kobe probably makes enough money to get his faded prison markings touched up. Probably, but who knows his finances, ink may not be in the budget at the moment.
5:14 OH SHIT Y'ALL! Sun Yue makes his NBA debut taking over for Jordy. Hold onto your panties ladies.
4:48 Sasha picks up a "pass" off of the floor and misses the wide open basket just for fun we guess.
4:33 Sun giving Fouly McFoulerson - Richard Jefferson - a run for his money with his second foul already.
4:01 And another! Damn, Jefferson can't even have the foul record from the game. What a waste.
Can we get a chant for 2 on the way home already?
3:02 Trevor gets a flagrant foul which is hilarious, just ask him. Though he did apologize so you know there's the softer side of basketball for you. We like it.
2:04 Sasha bricks another so that Sun can give it a try and he repeats that sentiment so that Josh Powell can finally throw it in although we're pretty sure that Aleksander guy from Milwaukee is the one who actually threw it down. Shhhhhh.
1:35 Yue makes those first points of his career here which brings the crowd to full throat where they stay until he makes 2 more points a few seconds later. Get some!
29.4 Chris Mihm stuffs it in because who knows when he'll have that chance again. And with that the game is over with.
Boston sucks and all that
105-92 Lakeshow baby
Final Comments
Somewhere in there we missed the Purple and Golds getting not 1 but 2 delay of game violations, and you know what that means... in this game it actually meant nothing but a minor annoyance at having to watch the Bucks shoot an extra free throw, but seriously? If this were a serious game it'd mean giving away yet another point for failing to get your act together. Seriously.
Player of the Night: Sun Yue for being hella productive in just 5 minutes. Not that we really believe his numbers would duplicate if his minutes did but it's nice to pretend isn't it?
Assist of the Night: Luke Walton aka Mr. Money Shot, aka The Best Player on the Team, aka The $5 Million Dollar Gatorade Man for assisting Sun Yue in getting some PT.
Worst Outfits Ever: Laker Girls in the final quarter. Whatever those weird Grease-esque shorts with the glitter belts and the "nude" tights - even though some of us obviously think we're African-American - are supposed to look like, we're pretty sure it didn't translate from paper correctly. Lets stop giving the Laker Girls new outfits and feed the homeless or something?
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