We're not going to waste time intro'ing this, it's just a girls version of an existing sports blog. And by all means if you have something relevant to add, comment away.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Lakers @ Jazz

A word before the game:
Double headers are fun, we get to watch a bit of a game we would have never watched otherwise and make comments on people we don't even know... but then... you get to see (or not see, as it were) Smush Parker NOT with his team due to some parking altercation. What? You read that right. Isn't that just like Smushie? What's a Utonian D. Fish fan to do on a night like tonight... cheer for him or cheer for Utah? We're also really glad the boys aren't going to have on those yellow uniforms tonight- we like Championship Gold well enough but - Forum Blue all the way! It's prettier.
**Doc Rivers is about to smack somebody (the ref - we like her, she's feisty) over a jump ball shoulda been a foul situation.

Tip Off
Kobe, LO, Drew, Ronny and D. Fish who coincidentally has the opening ball and gets boo'ed. Guess that solves that mystery for confused fans. But we get the first basket so eat that!


1st Quarter

10:24 Time out already?

8:16 Oh, Utonians boo everybody and everything - it sounds forced.

Are those energy saving lights overhead?

3:42 Boring quarter so far but our current fave just got up, lets see if Walton rested last night...
(and Radman too for that matter)

2:59 Remind us not to go to Utah anytime ever, they are crybabies. Sorry the call is not getting reversed and we'll just bring in J. Far to piss you off more.

Note to all geeks: Mr. T does not play World of Warcraft in his spare time no matter how much they just paid him to pretend he does.

6.9 Did KB just drop the ball?

30-22 Utah


2nd Quarter

11:16 Hmmm, Walton on the floor, we're pretty sure Basketball is played in the vertical position. We keep going for the basket and they keep blowing whistles.

11:03 Reason #5 we like Stu and Joel better: They can pronounce Farmar.

8:40 Why does Luke's face seem to be saying, "What the heck am I doing in these blue but clearly purple shorts?"

Kirilenko... nothing to say about him, we just wanted to see how easy it'd be to type his name without saying it out loud at the same time.

8:00 Sasha fouled, good thing cause that shot wasn't going in anyway. Hey, Kobe's back!

7:07 We're down a lot, looks like PB&J is ready to start sending in the troops so we can make our end of the half push to get in the game for the first time. Will it work tonight?

6:08 Okay, we'll give Deron Williams a high five for playing like a champ, but we still don't like Utah.

Please visit testing411.org now so we don't have to see that commercial again. When you do you can watch a different and/or extended version of the same commercial - we're not sure, we didn't watch it.

3:25 Apparently as tired of Utah dominating the ball as we are, Bynum slows the game down and we watch big K shoot for free. This just in, it's more exciting when they have to work for it.

1:34 The difference between us and them: they rebound their own missed shots 2-3 times in a row, we apparently don't care about our missed shot balls.

70-51 Jazzy Jeff's

Half Time
PB&J should have a tacit conference in the locker room - they'll get the point. But how about starting Luke? It worked for him last night and we've got 20 points to go before we can be respectable.

Lets see if the boys can come out and make like The Fresh Prince and leave Jeff behind...


3rd Quarter

11:30 Nobody on KB and he takes it home.

8:33 So far our after half time surge hasn't kicked in. There's limited time to pull this off so um, lets get with it?

7:46 Not sure what that shouting is but it sure sounds like "Lakers suck!". Tonight, yes. Here goes the bench with their second try of the night.

Tonight we like Jordan's tattoo.

5:27 Kobe picks it up, tosses it over his shoulder and J.Far grabs it to throw it in while throwing himself out.

4:38 Here's a great idea: Let's keep sending the Jeff's to the free throw line. At least we haven't been Knicked yet =/

2:02 Mihms! It couldn't really get any worse anyway right?

1:02 Go get that Technical Luke!

Ouch, feels like we've turned on the boys, we have not, just remember that even bad press is good press.

102-82 Do I even need to tell you?


4th Quarter

10:12 This is the last chance we've got, pick it up or go sit down boys. Don't turn us into turncoats.

7:48 #4 just snatched it away and nobody saw it coming because he almost literally walked down the court, stopped, hopped up and put the ball inside the hoop while all 5 of the Jazz and the other 4 Lakers stood at the other end of the court puzzled.
To reward this excellence, J.Critt comes in and sends him to the bench for a sit.

5:24 It's not like we aren't trying... A for effort on that one.
Kirilenko is on the verge of of a 5x5. Whatever that is. Sounds impressive.

3:33 Kobe sits down because this game is over with. If you weren't sure, you could find further proof on Derek and Luke's faces.

Poor Ariza, he's the "Hey, this game is over go out there and have fun" guy.

1:something Jordan almost steals it, Utah takes it back, then we get it back and Jordan's still at the other end of the court this thing is moving so fast - so throw it aaaaaaaaaaall the way back to him and he drops it in.

120-96 Utah


Final Comments

Our player of the night: Jordan Farmar. 21 points, and the best hustle for the team make him a clear choice here. Plus he's cute.

Lesson of the night: People like to steal the ball.

It's also kind of awesome how: Bill Walton goes to great lengths to avoid talking about Luke playing basketball. Bill Walton is orange.

** Clearly commentary on another game is a little out of place but that's kinda funny, admit it.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Lakers vs. Nuggets

A word before the game:
Kwame is injured, Karl is a D-Fender, PB&J will be the name of the game for at least 2 more years, and the Knicks just ate Shamrocks for dinner (if by "ate" we mean "Boston was all up in their face and kept them below 60". Shame.

Tip Off
D. Fish, RadMan, Kobe, LO, and Drew kickin' it off tonight.
Denver controls it.

1st Quarter
9:55 Thanks to Kobe the bench gets to sit down after a handful of trips down the court, and those folks that dished a few grand for some seats behind the bench get to see a little more than just championship gold warm up butts.

6:45 Drew throws it down, but Denver is owning this game with their mad steal skills. Steal skills - say that out loud.

5:56 (ish) Drew's first foul - Temper Tantrum level: Slight
Tender Ronny is in for RadMan cause I guess he wasn't rad enough.

I like all the ballers telling us to "Get Tested" and right after Jamie Foxx says something about African Americans they show Luke Walton. Does getting paid by the NBA give you an honorary Brotha card?

2:26 J.Far and Walton off the bench lets see if they can bring it home tonight.

1:54 Hey Kleiza no pushing!

Thought we might have another off night for Luke, but things seem to be shaping up for him, he may have figured out how to pass again. Farmar is picking up fouls at a solid Bynum-rate

33-21 Denver


2nd Quarter
Luke is chasing people around like they stole something from him. You know they wanna flat palm him.

9:33 Uh-oh... we'll hold our breath for now

8:19 Vujacic finally got it done!

7:50 Team rebounding is cute but if all of you are there to rebound you have to have someone to catch it when you tap it. That someone probably shouldn't be suited for the other team.

Be, aggressive, be be aggressive! (That was our cheer for J.Far who just went sliding down the court - we want to see more of the opposing team helping fallen players up off the floor, the more sensitive side of ballin'). And while we're cheering... what rhymes with "Tuck your shirt in Luke Walton"?

5:23 Could D.Fish be any better... looking... um, when he's handling the ball...?

When in doubt shout this out: Go with Fish, he just can't miss!

Almosttheend:ofthehalf We are finally in this game. Luke takes it, gives it to D.Fish, back to Luke, over to KB, back, Drew. Then... Luke to D.Fish for the basket. Then Luke brings it down the court over to LO, KB has it but Carter gets a whistle, so KB gives it to Fish who gives it to Drew and Kareem says cheese for the cameras. Turnover to KB for a no look to LO.

57-55 Denver


Half Time
Suddenly we have a chance? Some last minute rebounds by dear Luke, passing to er'rybody on the court and some balls down the hole. Drew needs a tutu for his spins. Luke is fired up and holy celebrity batman! KB just threw it down! Betcha didn't think he was gonna make that but it's Kobe, common now! Bringin it down to 2. Hey, there's Ariza, he looks comfy in those warm ups.


3rd Quarter
10:10 Denver looks frustrated. They didn't expect the boys in our favorite colors to come out of the locker room ready to take names?

9:39 Luke's back! (Stop licking your hand, you kiss your mother with that mouth?)

8:58 Drew gets his double double. Surprisingly one of those is not for fouls. Don't question it.

Who's in your fave 5? Not the guy in the blue shirt sitting behind Coach Karl. We'll call him Orangejello pronounced ore-on-gel-o. Why so orange?

7:21 Melo just shoved Luke to the ground. Hate the game not the player Melo. Hate the game.

Apparently PB&J held a charge practice, where they practice running into each other and falling. How can we get in on that? Wonder how many times we could run full force into an NBA player before we gave up...

5:45 Still wondering what rhymes with "Tuck your shirt in Luke Walton" but he's playing basketball like he was raised to do it or something, so we'll give him a pass... for now.

1:43 I guess we don't need to guard AI?

81-75 Lakers (even though we were up 14 at one point)


4th Quarter
11:12 We like Sasha's headband

Getting fouled on a 3 you were about to miss anyways is purrrty.

8:47 Luke goes for the wide open em ephin' 3. And it's good. Where's Mase when you need him... "Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back"

6:37 The Bench Mob must have read about themselves in the paper 'cause they came to play tonight.

6:18 Melo just got kicked out of the arena for domestic violence... is it "domestic" when you try to choke the ish out of an opposing player? It's okay, Sash is all smiles now that he's back to breathing normally. Out you go Melo... not melo enough.

We just noticed that we haven't seen many dance offs between Ronny and Ronny yet this season. What gives? But now J.Critt and Ariza - still in need of a nickname - just got up to stretch their legs. And somebody tell me why Mihms got up? Love him to death but he makes us wanna sing "This is why he's not". Sloppy sloppy Christopher. But we swear we're not Mihm haters.

2:17 PB&J is obviously feelin' pretty confident that we've got this one in the bag...

1:40 Spoke too soon on the Turiaf dance off. Welcome that back as well.

1:08 Trev to J.Critt and it's good. Holla!

Are they shouting "We want tacos!" ???? Oh yes, yes they are. And they get 'em.

127 - 99 Forum Blue!

Final Comments
Quote of the night from Basketblog (after the start of the 3rd when Walton went in with the starting line up): That clicking sound is a seat belt that is being installed on Vlad’s seat. That guy shouldn’t see the starting lineup for the rest of the year.

Our player of the night: Luke Walton. He came back on fire tonight, and with the best over average on the team (+25) and 14 points he should remember what a good night feels like and bring that same ish tomorrow.

See ya in Utah!