Hot Pants vs. Capris

A word before the game
Where old rivalries finally come back to life!
There are so many decisions to make tonight, to watch FSN or FSNPT? To drink or not to drink? To be sad that Luke's not playing (likely) or to be happy that The Trev is kicking ass as a starter? It's enough to make your head hurt. Never fear, we're gonna be here doing what we do best... making stupid comments on the game that you probably don't even care about (but it gives us something to go back to and laugh about at a later date and time). This ain't your old high school rivalry folks... this is THE BUSINESS!
We flipped a coin and are going to watch FSNPT and record FSN for later viewing should we so choose!


Tip Off
KB, LO, AB, TA, DF


1st Quarter
9:15 D. Fish with some free throws in his hot pants - we're pretty sure his are the shortest out there - we just now recovered from them taking off the warm ups.

7:14 Lamar we can't have this tonight.

Aaaaaaaaaand we just saw Trevor's socks. Could this get any better?

5:17 Speaking of Trevor - he's a little ball of energy tonight isn't he?

4:29 The free throw line needs to be examined tonight - there's clearly something wrong with it.

2:54 Did Perkins just get a T for staring at Drew? Awesome!

Even the Laker Girls are in the 80's spirit tonight.

1:08 The refs are handing out T's like they are going out of style.

28.5 They are playing hard tonight judging from the sweat dripping from their faces.

5.9 Every time a new guy gets off the bench we start our laughing all over again at the "shorts".

0.0 Ronny doesn't always do a lot but when he does do what he does do it's brilliant!

30-23 Celtics


2nd Quarter
10:41 J. Critt is in already? Could this mean no more human victory cigar status for him?

9:35 Just call Trevor The Hustleman.

6:55 JORDAN! No pushing!

6:36 Scalabrine just checked in... now we're not really up on other teams and their players but we read enough to know that this guy should make us laugh and um, we did.

5:35 We've got the spirit, but somehow we're just not following through :(

Kevin Garnett doesn't look like a dude who would be named Kevin Garnett.

4:46 How long has Radman been in the game? He's already racking up non helpful stats.

It feels like Kobe's already turned to desperation shooting.

3:13 We all know that was a total make up call for not fouling Drew on making KG bleed... such transparency.

Luke gets to play after all, let's see if our theory about his bounce back efficiency** is true...

2:15 So far it's a yes for the Walton Theory.

23.8 If we have to see one more dude "adjust his shorts" we're gonna fall over.

Not quite as awesome as an 0.4 but D.Fish just brought it with the 1.4 or whatever it was to bring us to...

53-45 Capris


Half Time
Ask (complain) and ye shall receive - Hot Pants > Capris. Always. Period. In fact, we're so amused by the hot pants that we aren't even mad that we're losing (yet). The whole court side view concept is interesting but boring as hell. It's not "just like being at the game" for a few reasons. 1 being that we didn't interview any celebrities last time we were sitting court side at the game - even though, ironically, we were standing in the media section. 2 being that there's actually much more to look at when you are there. And 3 being that while you can hear the fans screaming on TV it's way off in the distance making the broadcast eerily quiet. We do want to say one thing and then forget we ever even thought it - we wish we were Celtics fans because their fan apparel is cute and fun/easy to accessorize. Maybe the boys will pat each other on the ass a few times in the locker room and they'll get over their fear of being in public in the shocker pants/ man panties/ whatever else you wanna call them.
27,000 people in downtown Los Angeles right this very moment.


3rd Quarter
They changed! With this development we're not going to be happy if they lose. Losing is only acceptable if they are wearing the man panties.

11:29 So far the long shorts aren't helping... pretty sure they just didn't bring their A game with them to STAPLES.

10:02 Shirt watch on Lamar.

9:55 Trevor "The Slasher" Ariza according to Joel and Stu.

7:32 Aaaargh!

6:22 Ronny workin' the DDR off the bench. We seriously hope he goes to his local arcade and schools all the little Jr. High School kids who think they're hot shit.

5:10 Did Luke hear us talking about him and his bounce back efficiency? Holler!

3:17 Doc better call a time out cause the Lakers are about to start steam rolling his boys.

2:11 Are you kidding???

1:30 The losers at the Special Olympics could officiate this game better than these refs.

12.0 "Indecision by Luke Walton".

We're not down by that much - we have 1 quarter to clean this shit up.


4th Quarter
9:36 We saw that coming from the 1st quarter... night night Andrew, sleep tight, don't let the bench bugs bite.

8:49 Some of the things (including that miss) we've seen tonight from the boys in our favorite colors are just unbelievable.

7:57 J. Critt leaves teenageacy behind tomorrow.

6:27 We're not really sure what just happened in the past couple of seconds. We're almost ready to turn this game off.

5:18 Okay so it's only charging if the Lakers do it, if the Celtics do it it's okay... is that how this works?

2:57 Yeah Lamar you guys aren't gonna win this now so you may as well go start some shit, just don't turn it into The Malice @ The Palace okay?

2:22 They are trying to kill Jordan.

Can the Celtics stop making out with each other on their bench please? Or can FSN at least stop airing it?

46.6 Can you guys please just clean it up so we don't get bent over the knee and spanked?

31.1 I guess that's a no?

110-91 Meh!


Final Comments
Okay, we're only half pissed that we didn't win this one. At least we got a hearty laugh throughout the first quarter? Actually watching the "highlights" right now we're still laughing hysterically. If Jesus loved us like they said in that song we sang in Sunday school years ago, he'd make the shorts come back at least once this season, just cause.

** The Luke Walton Bounce Back Theory is that it takes him an average of 4 games to bounce back (to being an effective player) after missing any amount of games with his ever present ankle injuries. He usually just goes out on the floor and puddleducks around during his first couple of games back.

Award time:
The "Hey, there's that guy" award of the night: Rick Fox steals it from Mihm in part because... seriously where has he been? Also because we didn't even get a screen shot of Mihm tonight so we couldn't effectively say, "Hey! There's that guy..." about him.

The Shortest Shorts Ever award of the night: Derek Fisher. Dude! Those things were teener.

Comment of the night: Joel or Stu (we forgot already): "My ankle's sore but I can stroke it." Providing us with the thoughts in Luke's head after a big 3, but read it out of context and you'll understand it better.

Our player of the night: The Hot Pants. No joke, those things were awesome. They are going to keep us giggling all night long and the reaction from the crowd was just enough to make us wish this was college ball so that we'd get a true celebration. Plus, we no longer have to wonder what Jordan looks like in man panties we can call them real throw back jersey's now.

Lakers vs. Jazz

A word before the game
We've done our fair share of internet trolling today to pass the time at work - er, we mean to uh, shit... the boss won't be reading this right? We came across a few things that bring smiles to the faces. This quote, "...and losing track of starting point guard Stephon Marbury for a couple of days in November." about Isaiah (who doesn't even need a last name any more because you know who we're talking about) pretty much makes us want to high five America.
Surely by now everyone has seen "Before The Bigs" the Luke Walton episode, but we felt like watching it anyway (it's all we're gonna see of him tonight anyway)... we almost forgot how much he is his fathers' son. Read that again.
Looks like Kwame gets some play tonight... this ought to be interesting... it's Friday and a holiday weekend so we'll be drinking!


Tip Off
Kobe, Andrew, Derek, Lamar, Trevor we forgot to look at who controlled the tip because Ronny was warming up - for Dance Dance Revolution, not that we mind but shouldn't he have been paying attention to the game?


1st Quarter
10:17 Here's a joke for the evening, "How many Lakers does it take..."

9:23 The Trev may just push his way into our hearts if he keeps it up!

8:06 SHOTS (though we admit Drew has been controlling his foul rate these days)

7:35 Kobe for the em ephin steal and the pass to himself. Who cares if he didn't make it, it was still quite awesome.

5:52 THAT'S FUCKIN' TEAM WORK! Funny how you can use the same joke from earlier and it's awesome this time.

5:28 Oh Andrew!

DWCC (Dwyane Wade Commercial Count) I

Kwame! Makin' a difference right away.

3:13 We weren't going to embarrass the Jazz by bringing up the "class" of their "fans" but since the announcers brought it up... we'd like to point out that we haven't booed them so heinously tonight in retaliation. That, "dear" people of Utah is how class sounds. (Booing at free throws does not count against your class rating).

1:31 That was smooth!

17.6 Kobe this isn't baseball - nobody's measuring the speed of your pass.

Useless stat alert: We just got a season high for points in the first 12 minutes.

38 - 23 Lakers


2nd Quarter
11:09 Ronny might make a name for himself in shot blocking in one game. Dare we say "Got Them Dos!"

8:53 Jordan and Ronny are having a back and forth love fest tonight. Can we join?

6:35 The do-over play for Radman..

6:08 Holla for J.Far. We should mention that we mostly just call him Hero after the end of the Knicks game the other day.

Oh hey, Luke will be getting some air time tonight after all, nice suit. We'll drink to you!

DWCC II

4:52 T for Sloan! Woohoo!!

4:14 I think every single person in Championship Gold touched that one.

We just gave them the T and they missed as well... can we insert a useless stat for this somehow?

1:15 Damn that one would have been sweet...

47.5 MVP MVP MVP

75 -48 Lakers of course.


Half Time
With the team playing so well we haven't gotten our drink on quite as much as we'd like. This concoction of Pumpkin Schnapps and Orange Juice is delightful, we might just have to drink to excellence. We are gonna go work on our "Bang Bang" dance (see Kobe highlights from the first half) and pray to the rain Gods that we keep up the show in the 2nd half.

DWCC III


3rd Quarter
11:10 Over the glass for Kobe. That's hott!

10:42 The Trev needs to work on his free throwing lest we push him to a stat sheet with Geriatric-Diesel.

10:12 It's been 30 seconds since we last commented on the free throwing of The Trev and it still stands...

9:54 He does make up for it quite a bit with his anticipatory skills though. Round of applause for that steal.

8:07 Phew! (That one barely went down)

DWCC IV (We abso-fucking-lutely hate this stupid commercial. Make it stop!)

4:19 Ariza had the smoothness to Fish who missed.

Girls wanna know: Why is every little thing a stat. Seriously? Should we also figure in bounces per game when averaging things? I mean, if you look at the ratio of baskets made vs. # of times the ball was dribbled per game it's gotta further prove the conspiracy theories surrounding the Lakers. I'm not a mathematon so I couldn't do this myself but I know it'll work out in the end.

3:44 What the hell is wrong with Hero's shorts as he's entering the game?

3:14 Time for Drew to calm down and tuck in his shirt.

We're gonna leave the C-note mark in the dust in 3 quarters time.

2:47 Andrew! =(

2:30 Lakers with the "around the world" pass. How many times can we go around the world in 24 seconds?

1:47 Tender Ronny with The Towel.

My god Hero looks short out there.

0.1 Hero for the not even necessary trois at the end of the quarter to make it:

106 - 74 Even though it's pretty early on, we're guessing Taco Chants will be starting very soon, and tacos are looking like a serious reality at this point.


4th Quarter
10:44 Trevor! We really want to vote for you for player of the night... don't fuck this up!

9:28 Dear Radman, What the hell was that?

8:37 Holy shit how many fouls does Kwame have now?

7:44 Don't start falling apart now...

7:17 Nice recovery for Hero.

Looks like the tacos might be going bye-bye?

J.Critt, Criptonite, Javaris in the game

5:59 PB&J has been pretty quiet tonight until now...

33 assists!

3:47 It's hard not to notice how much Ronny likes taking credit for fouling people. We're pretty sure he'd take credit for other people fouling people if he was anywhere near the action. Actually, he'd probably even try to take credit for fouling people if he was still sitting on the bench.

2:42 Take down a jersey number and beat him up 'cause there goes your tacos LA fans.

Ronny with the finger lickin' goodness and there's a pan of the bench... all the starters went on early vacation tonight. And once again "Hey, there's that guy..." Chris Mihm.

This game is so far over FSN has taken down the shot clock, game clock, scoreboard et al on the screen.

57.5 (We can only tell by looking at the in house time clock) They think they can still win this?

123 -109 4 in a row!


Final Comments
Holla atcha boys! We even got a smile from PB&J. We won't bother getting as excited as the Lakers did - oh wait...
We do actually understand the non-victory like attitudes they displayed, they pretty much let it go in the 4th. Good call. We got the W and that's what counts in the end. Anyway on with the awards of the night:

The Thank God He Didn't Choke On His Comeback Game award of the night: Kwame Brown. It's so easy to just go out there and chalk a shitty game up to being rusty and he didn't.

The "Hey there's that guy" award of the night: Defending title holder Chris Mihm. Seriously, Javaris got off the bench and this guy didn't. Yeah we know he played a game or two ago and didn't completely suck but seriously?

The It's Gonna Be A Long Trip Home award: Jerry Sloan & The Utah Jazz who in addition to just getting their shit handed to them in a potpourri bag have to face the Celtics next and it's not gonna be pretty.

Our player of the night: Trevor Ariza. He threw it down. No, it wasn't a spectacularly amazing game tonight for him personally but combine this game with that famous dunk up/posterization on Grant's Hill and he's more than earned this, besides, when isn't it awesome to actually like the newbie?

The "Oh shit did he just say that?" award of the night: PB&J for calling Luke out on his pending Wally Pipp status. Though we're sure he was joking and really, nothing coming from Phil's mouth should be surprising.

Lakers @ Cavaliers

A word before the game
This could quite possibly be our last post of the year. We don't want to sound like we love ourselves a lot, but we kind of do so we're going on vacay. Don't worry, we'll still be watching and either cheering for or asking wtf?
We also want to take a moment to be sad for Alonzo Mourning - we're not being sarcastic in this sentence. Now the Heat are going to have to depend on... um, er, we got nothin.
The boys in the TNT studio elfed themselves... we've been doing this all winter long. Please try it, it's frighteningly entertaining. Dance with Kobe.


Tip Off
Kobe Bryant of course, Derek Fisher naturally, Andrew Bynum as expected, LO and Luke! No drinking for us tonight but if you're drinking... turn it up!


1st Quarter
11:43 A foul for KB already? Hmmmmm...

9:13 Senseless foul. Thanks Luke.

8:11 Are we really gonna let them dominate?

6:54 We can't have Kobe missing free throws tonight, just putting that out there.

Because of some fighter jets flying overhead for the past 20 minutes we haven't been able to actually hear the television but imagine our disgust when the air show is over and the announcers are still talking about Kobe vs. LeBron - there are a few other people there ya know.

2:48 Maaaaaaaan you can't stop Kobe. We thought you knew.

1:22 They have cooler in house music than we do. That's not fair!

28 We'll take even.


2nd Quarter
Remember that time we didn't keep our mouth guard tucked into the back of our sweatbands on our heads LeBron?

10:25 Our first "insert players name" to Drew!

We're ashamed to admit we're a little jealous of the Cavs' #17's hair.

3:26 We got distracted trying to find who sings a particular song and somehow ended up on "I got it from my mama". We're sure some basketball has been going on this whole time.

3:06 Luke! It's so nice to see him making baskets these days, even if he does need to fall on the ground right before.

Where awkward moments between teammates getting national airtime happens. (Snow)

1:20 NOT!

32.8 Is Andrew getting emotional? Let's not go down that road again please.

Walton - the go to inbounder - footballs it across the court. Makes absolutely no difference whatsoever we just like talking about football while watching basketball.

Scores somewhere in the 50's for both teams but Lakers are winning and that's the part that counts eh?


Half Time
Is it just us or does Lamar's face look fake? Like he's wearing stage makeup and a wig to look like he's bald.


3rd Quarter
9:54 Luke don't lose your touch! You hear us?

9:36 HAHAHAHAHA. Get up fool.

8:25 Kobe to Drew

We're not looking forward to the extreme road game winter for the Lakers so stop reminding us.

6:18 For reals Lamar? For reals?

We love LO, but whoever just said he's the key to this team makes us laugh, A LOT.

5:07 Luke, we've warned you once. Do not make us turn on you tonight... it's gonna be a long couple of weeks before we can put you back on our cool people list.

4:40 Thank you!

3:42 Goddamn son, somebody go rebound that for us.

3:17 Instead of an And 1 they should just call it a High 5?

.2 We're sure PB&J has a great reason for doing everything he does but is this really a superb time for lineup changes?

78-73 Lakers


4th Quarter
11:00 We're not in love with a tie this late in the game.

9:59 Vujacic for 0!

This just in, the Heat might win a game.

7:47 Holla for Drew!

6:08 Bynum for the "Noooooot!" (that's a block)

3:59 Luke Walton cleans up after himself.

3:11 Serious?

Come on! Let's end this, we have cookies to start baking.

2:00 We definitely don't like our games tied at The Dos.

WHY FISH WHY?

20.7 Shot clock violation.

11.9 If Drew wants to hold our respect for the rest of the season he will make these...
1 - Guess he doesn't
2 - Nope, he doesn't

10.3 Kobe with the "this ball is mine" time out.

Sitting on the edge of our seats at a moment like this, ready to either have happy baking time or mad baking time.

Walton for his famous inbounding...

3.3 What??? No, no, no, no, no. NO. That is simply unjust.

Angry baking it is. Hope these cookies don't taste like Cavaliers and disgust.

3.3 Remarkably still the time, Luke does the inbounding again... aaaaaaaaaand it's all for nothing.

Pack it up gentlemen. Maybe we'll see ya tomorrow night just cause going on vacay with loss doesn't taste good.


Final Comments
We need to lose the whole "let's take the 3rd Quarter off" mentality if we think we're going to do big things this year. And yes, we think we're going to do big things this year. Realistically D.Fish shouldn't have been called on that last foul though - that's just senseless refereeing. We got yo numba ref!

No awards for tonight - we don't have it in us.

Our player of the night: Good question. Pretty lack-luster game, nobody really stood out. Let's just try this again tomorrow shall we?

Lakers @ Bulls

A word before the game
Sunday was a crazy night at STAPLES right? Were you there? We were. Enough of that. Let's get this under way and see if it was a fluke, or if it was the real thing shall we?


Tip off
1st Quarter
2nd Quarter
Half Time
3rd Quarter
4th Quarter


Final Comments
Quote of the night (from a comment by Mhunt at forumblueandgold.com):

"I realized what it is that Kwame really brings to that first unit besides a big body on defense: a simple, almost childlike adherence to the offense. In a way, he reminds me of a kid in the third-grade, one of the slowest in the class, coming in for a math test furiously reciting the multiplication tables under his breath so he can remember them. Doesn’t matter what the test questions actually are: he’s going to write down his memorized tables and hope for a C- this time instead of a D or F.

When he’s on the floor with the first unit, the ball moves much better because Kwame is only capable of focusing on just one thing: moving where he’s supposed to as hard and fast as he can. He’s not really bright enough to think about anything else at the time. That’s probably a part of why his hands are so rubbery…he’s concentrating so hard on making the right cut, or setting the right pick, and suddenly someone passes him the ball and he’s thinking “What’s this? But I’m supposed to be moving! Not catching! Mongo no move and catch at same time!” Almost like a toddler, actually."

Pretty much sums it up, but you can read it all if you'd like.

Notice how it's all blank in the middle? Here's the thing: I'm here in good old San Diego. The game is on KCAL. KCAL does not exist in San Diego. Now you're thinking "what?". That's okay, there's a solution to this. Pay nearly $200 and get League Pass. Which means you can watch any game you want. Every game will be available in one of the following ways:
Local Broadcast (like KCAL)
National Broadcast (like ESPN)
NBATV (yeah it's the NBA's very own channel)
League Pass Broadband (view it on the internet)

Now, you can only get a game in one of those places. You're not gonna have it on multiple channels, bottom line. I'm fine with that. Really. I'll sit through crappy announcers so I can see the team. Tonight I come home, look up where I'm supposed to watch the game at, find that it's on NBATV and flip to that channel. Being that it's on NBATV it's available to any and everyone who's paid for League Pass on that channel... unless you have KCAL. I know you're still wondering why I didn't see the game. Me too actually.

Aaaaaaaaaaaapparently since the game is being broadcast locally (KCAL) it's blacked out in my area on NBATV. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not but WE DON'T FUCKING GET KCAL IN SAN DIEGO. Maybe this is a mistake DIRECTV made? It'd be a pretty big mistake - it's like going snowboarding during All Star Break and... woah, off topic - but just maybe. I call them, and of course get the pre-recorded run around, just what I'd hoped for, before finally getting to the bottom of things. Nope, no mistake. I can watch the game on KCAL this lady tells me. I ask if she can look at my account and tell me where I'm at on the planet earth. Yes, for the record the information is right in front of her. I asked if she's ever been to San Diego. Yes, she lives in San Diego. What? No way! I asked when the last time she watched KCAL in San Diego was... shockingly at this point there is silence on the other end of the phone.

There's no resolution to this because DIRECTV is still going to maintain that we San Diegans can just watch it on KCAL and I'm still going to be mad - except that I'm going to get my $200 back, they may not know that yet but I am. Thank god NBA.com doesn't block people from looking up scores of games they could be watching on their local channel because now I can look at the exciting white box and see that we won! That's pretty much all I can look and see. So, thank you DIRECTV for making me pay nearly $200 for some free stuff.

Lakers @ Warriors

A word before the game
Tonight we bring you the voice of many... we're at a viewing party. Pot luck of fine Italian foods, wine and beer. It may get rowdy, we may even forget to write anything at all. We watched the first of the back to backs on mute because who cares. We're definitely playing the Forum Blue Drinking Game. And heeeeeeere we go!


Tip Off
Luke, LO, KB, Drew, D.Fish


1st Quarter
11:30 We let em score on us already?

10:28 Luke dropped it like it was hot... not a good thing when it happens twice.

9:34 There are maybe 14 people here but we may as well be in the arena... we've already had beers dropped from edge of seat screaming/jumping. Not a GSW fan in sight!

5:37 Goddamnit!

Please note the time: this is how far we've made it without having to hear about the summer of discontent. ESPN > TNT, though not by much.

5:24 Kobe sucks? (Jealous much Oakland?)

3:33 Every time Drew throws it down everyone stands up for a round of applause. We have no idea why but it's fun.

Helzberg diamonds... kind of awesome.

2:31 MISS

1:03 Lamar, we reeeeeeeeally wish you wouldn't.

54.3 Jordan, we're always thankful you did.

6.2 Are Warriors fans aware that they look like a giant McDonald's camp out with those shirts on?

28-17 Lakers
And now for the obligatory lame-ass interview with the coach...


2nd Quarter
9:31 This is how you play a back to back. Holla for that!

Send Richard Jefferson to All Stars!

6:48 Tender Ronny... he's our only love.

4:18 Luke we also wish you wouldn't - though not as much as LO cause sometimes yours go in.

Oh snap, Walton made BOTH free throws.

3:05 Left handed but he shoulda gone right, sorry Golden State

Hey there's Mihms. He's still with the Laker's?
We only bring him up because it's funny to say "Mihms" like we're background on that "This is why I'm hott" track.

2:53 Reason #947498298u to hate on the announcing tonight "Why does he call Luke by his first name and Bynum by his last name?" The better question is "Why are we being forced to listen to him calling Luke by his first name and Bynum by his last name?" Lose the player mic's. Seriously.

1:19 SHOTS! Courtesy of Drew.

Baron Davis such a talented player... so strong... aaaaaaand a miss.

54-47 Lakers


Halftime
We don't care what happens right now it's dessert time here. Baked Alaska. Look it up and eat your heart out boys.


3rd Quarter
11:53 Futbol!

9:56 Say what LO?

8:33 That just got a collective "awww shit" grumble from the room.

7:57 Walton may not be too incredibly dependable these days but you do actually have to guard him or he'll pull shit like that on ya.

Maaaaan, this is like being on a teeter-totter/sea-saw.

6:34 Have a 5th and a seat Mr. Davis.

4:48 Pimp down, beer on my head, Luke at the line (he's doing well there tonight).

2:27 Drew is officially fierce.

The "Oh Christmas Tree" commercial just made for some wet seats in the house. That was downright shout-out-loud-wtf-hilarious. Play it again!

1:03 Compare that one from LO to...

30.8 (or something like that) ... that one from J.Far

0.0 LO must have heard us talkin' smack cause he made up for it

85-83 Lakers!
Enter technical difficulties with the idiotic interviews.


4th Quarter
10:48 All we need Lamar to do - feed.

9:39 What did you do Radman?

9:17 Farmar drops it in even when he looks like he might be falling over.

7:57 Kobe seems to be having um, crotch problems.

7:37 Now Ronny is down, he just recovered from a head injury. Ugh.

5:53 YEEEEEEEAAAAAH! D.Fish! (that almost sounds like de-fense)

3:29 Luke make the shots... ... ... wait for it... ... ... thank you :)

We don't wanna speak out of place but the Warriors are letting us trample them with a Kobe Brynt who's moving as well as Shaq.

2:38 Jackson manages to not pull a Bynum, but you can see he really wants to.

Tommy John surgery - there's a girl one of us used to know who talked every day about how she had Tommy John surgery. I can tell you every last detail of it if you wish. Let's have a shot to celebrate not having to know her anymore.

1:54 We don't like our games tied at this point.

1:27 This is why we love Derek Fisher.

16.7 ARE YOU KIDDING?

can't... type... must... watch...

6.1 PLEASE LAMAR PLEASE

108-106 Warriors? <-- unbelievable, simply unbelievable.


Final Comments
We had this one in the bag. In the bag, and then our poorly packed sack lunch fell out of the bottom. Thanks for nothing mom! This whole room seems to agree though, this loss felt better than last night's win.

The Trade Him Now award of the night: Lamar Odom. He may have played an okay game tonight, better than what he's been turning in lately but we're tired of having to bow/shake our heads in shame 3 out of every 4 times he has the ball in his hands. Why not just let Mihm play? Speaking of...

The "Hey there's that guy" award of the night: Chris Mihm. What position does he play? LBW (left bench warmer) is not an official position in the NBA rule book so we're really asking for an answer on this one. He would have gotten the Trade Him Now award except how the hell do you trade the towel boy?

The If We're Gonna Keep Depending on Lamar Odom We May As Well Play This Guy award of the night: Javaris Crittenton and Coby Karl can share tonight.

Our player of the night: Johnny Walker Black for keeping us entertained all night long. We're certain that had Mr. Black actually gotten some minutes tonight he would have brought it home for us.

Lakers vs. Spurs

A word before the game
The only thing good about double headers on national TV... watching Shaq still not making free throws. To be honest, we've been in and around the Laker's for the better part of our lives and though paying attention to the ball game wasn't ever really a part of that until recently, even we know Shaq can't shoot. Grab some popcorn and cozy up for a long game (damn you national television) of the boring San Antonio uniforms and some mediocre announcing. We hope to stay awake. One of our dad's wants us to mention that he used to train with Bruce Bowen at CSUF. That's completely irrelevant as this dad also still holds onto how he "almost played for the Lakers"... okay Uncle Rico, okay.


Tip Off
KB, D.Fish, Drew, LO, Luuuuuuuuuuuke (don't disappoint us tonight baby)!


1st Quarter
10:59 Did we just see Luke reach for his ankle in the middle of play?

10:33 The problem with national TV announcing is that they always feel like talking about Kobe's summer of discontent. Let's move on shall we?

9:14 All that for nothing huh?

8:00 First real basket...

The NBA where caring about millions of dollars happens. The NBA where caring about what Kobe says all summer long happens. The NBA where caring happens?

4:04 Get it Luke - according to Wikipedia his nickname is "Wild Luke". Hmmmm?

2:02 Just as we were about to ask if Lamar could go sit down somewhere... he does!

19-18 Spurs
Chatting with the coach is not necessary, you hear me Stern?


2nd Quarter
11:33 Not really sure who J.Far ws passing that to but...

11:12 ... he makes up for it almost from the bench.

Is it the job of announcers to announce the obvious?

9:42 Rejection Mr. Washington.

8:53 Radman is halfway down the court the second he lets that one go.

William Shatner probably really does play World of Warcraft in his spare time.

8:10 Now we're playing ball.

6:19 That's fuckin' team work! What's your favorite posish? (Please respect the reference)

If I had a knife I would run over to STAPLES and splice the wires to every microphone owned by TNT. Bye-bye Tony Parker.

4:30 Reason #987498 to hate on the announcing... that was Ariza that just got rejected, not Bynum. K, Thanks.

3:58 Our first KB to Drew of the night. Now we're talkin'!

3:26 Nothing like getting your ass smacked as you run by a TV camera - ma'am whoever you are, congratulations.

3:12 That didn't look too good for Kobe.

2:35 Drew Drew!!!

2:06 That was the laziest swap at the ball I've ever seen in my life. To applaud Robert Horry or not?

1:41 Derek, should we maybe save the hugs for after the game?

3.6 Fine form Walty, fine form. Though his after shot arm hang reminds us of Love & Basketball - look up Monica, 3rd Quarter, "Hold that pose until you get enough of it."

51-43 Lakers


Half Time
We're leading, but any Laker fan knows not to get too excited about this. We have to actually MAINTAIN the lead. Crazy, free radical thinking right there, we know. Diggin the Sprite commercial "I'm fallin' away with you".


3rd Quarter
10:45 D.Fish seems to have lost his fire power from the past couple of games

Maybe it's the Championship Gold or maybe it's just TNT but my God Mr. Walton looks sickeningly pale out there. Doesn't he live on the beach?

Nobody named Pookie gettin' in my fave 5.

6:50 If the Spurs want to give us 3, 4, 5 chances to get it in then we'll take it.

4:32 Everybody's got Drew's back, even though they should have just helped him to the bench instead. Let's predict - and then skip - that TNT takes their mic over to PB&J between quarters so they can talk about Drew.

3:29 Get up D. Fish... seriously get up... okay phew. Hopefully that doesn't permeate overnight.

74-72 Spurs


4th Quarter
Love PB&J making a joke out of the interview (nice tie).

11:07 Ariza to Turiaf aaaaaaand holla!

10:24 5 for whats his face. Have a seat, thanks.

9:37 Radman!

Fish hurt his knee, Kobe's wrapped up on the bench, Drew got ejected, do we have anyone playing anymore?

Putting a mic on J.Far couldn't be any more stupid. Seriously? What is the point of this?

The Spurs' warm ups seriously look like death.

5:40 We were falling asleep until A) McAfee Internet Suite wanted to let us know that our subscription is about to expire - obnoxious but thank you - and B) We looked up to see underwear adjustments in full force. Hello?

4:52 Luke almost killed it but he saved it and gives it to LO for the finish.

3:39 Walton footballs to LO for the finish. Are they going to be the new KB to Drew?

1:09 The people want their tacos.

32.7 Pimps down!

I'm tired of hearing about San Antonio being short handed... the Laker's haven't been that great of a team this year so suck it.

102-97 Lakers


Final Comments
The embarrassing turn over numbers belong to the other team tonight.

Quote of the night (only because they can eat it now), from Hardwood Paroxysm's 15 reasons to watch the 2 f'ing games in the NBA tonight:

15. We Need To File A Missing Person's Report: You guys remember Luke Walton? Remember that huge extension he got? We remember Luke Walton. We remember him being on our fantasy team. Why, Luke? Why? Why do you hate us? So if you see him scramble for another loose ball and miss, make an ill advised pass, or clank another jumper, and you hear an ungodly scream unlike anything you've ever heard? It's either me or Kupchak.

The Fuck You Too award of the night: Mr. I'm Gonna Eject Drew Bynum. Shame on you. Oberto can have a piece of this one as well.

The Please God Never Again award of the night: Microphones on the players. What happens when it falls off during play, do we get an extra time out? Do we give TNT a delay of game?

Our player of the night: Kobe Bryant, it's safe to say he brings it every single night but tonight he wins for chasing down the ref like he was talkin' about his mama or something. Admit it, it was kinda endearing to see KB having Drew's back like that!

Christmas with the Laker's

In honor of our time off - yeah it's our time off too - that comes to an end tonight we've been focusing on our Christmas shopping. We've thought long and hard about each and everyone of the Lakers (and some of the staff too) and we're convinced we've picked up the perfect gift for each of them.

Kobe Bryant

A team photo so he can look at it every morning and remember who he should be passing the ball to. Admittedly he's doing quite well so far this season with "playing team ball", but January would be no time for a slip up and reappearance of Dr. Jekyll... better to keep him on track.

Luke Walton
New ankles Chris Mihm style. Hey, he just signed a nice contract what better time to take a few seasons off for his own good? Then he can come back during PB&J's last year (under current contract) and work on his timing for an entire season while the rest of the team and the world watches in horror. This would be less nailbiting than hoping his ankle doesn't snap every time he gets out of bed, or if his bed falls on him?

Lamar Odom

A hand held mirror so he can further admire his hair cut, as he clearly takes more pride in that than he does in his professional basketball career... judging solely based on his commitment to consistency. We'll even throw in a new brush.

Jordan Farmar

A date with us.

Trevor Ariza

Sacred Hoops/The Last Season double pack. It may help?

Derek Fisher

We're not gonna link it because we'd never endorse such behavior/we're to lazy but you may have heard of the "Punch in the balls o-gram" service. It's almost a holiday gram from your local dancing singing bear, instead, whomever D.Fish sends this gram to will be punched in the balls. He could just pick a name out of the phone book in Utah.

Kwame Brown

A new suit. As many games as he's spent on the bench this season, he's got to be running out of them by now!

Chris Mihm

A contract buyout so we don't have to watch him anymore. This is probably more of a present to ourselves but it's a good deed, indeed.

Sasha Vujacic

We couldn't decide between a brand new pack of head bands to match all of the Laker's uniforms or a get out of jail free card for "Those nights when you can't buy a 3".

Vladimir Radmanovic

Tickets to All Star Weekend in N'awlins. There's no snow there right?

Ronny Turiaf

DDR. Really no explanation needed here.

Andrew Bynum

We'll pay for him to take a public speaking course down at the community college. Watching him give an interview is almost as painful as watching Mihm run up the court. Hell we'll even pay the $12 student health fee and for a parking pass.

Javaris Crittenton

A hamburger. Starving children can't play in the NBA.

Coby Karl
An authentic Laker's jersey. Seriously.


Phil Jackson
A self censoring microphone. We actually love the comments he's made around the league (Brokeback anyone?) but ... well actually, we like his apologies even better, maybe we'll hold off on this one?

Dr. Buss

A designated driver over the age of 18.

Jeanie Buss

An engagement ring. PB&J isn't getting any younger, and Hollywood the NBA needs a good wedding story. Gotta get this one under way before the next annual hip installment.

Mitch Kupchak

We're actually not Cupcake haters over here, he's kind of like the current President of the United States - whatever - so we'll just give him permission to go to Camp David and uh, vacation or whatever.

Kareem Abdul-Jabar

A clue. He always looks so... bewildered or perhaps we should just get him a shiny pair of sunglasses?

Jack Nicholson

Finally, his own parking spot at the practice facility. Practice is pretty much the only thing Jack doesn't do for/with the Lakers, maybe this'll change his mind and he'll start actively contributing from the bench.

Lakers vs. Warriors

A word before the game
Already a little tipsy, so the Forum Blue Drinking Game may not be a good idea tonight... especially considering Luke is out for the night (should he just get new ankles like Mihms?), and hopefully not for like 22 games or something like that. No Sunday Night Whites cause it's Throwback Night (wtf? they are cheating with the shorts)!!! It's been a quiet week really, so lets see if they can handle business tonight...


Tip Off
KB, LO, Drew, D.Fish, Radman, and we've got it!


1st Quarter
10:20 Looks like Radman came to play tonight.

9:08 Just accept it LO, just accept it.

7:05 They just hustled us out of the ball via shot clock.

4:56 Dear Golden State (hey wait, isn't that us too?) that's what happens when you're "doin' too much".

3:58 Oh shit Trev! Throw it down!

2:38 D.Fish is STILL on fire. We could get used to this.

1:53 Always a good time when J.Far shows up.

48.9 Kobe is off tonight, that can't be a good thing.

22.5 The Trev - a difference maker - is pulling his weight tonight.

31 tie
Why does Kareem always look like he's confused by life itself?


2nd Quarter
11:57 Uh... time out?

10:42 Ronny has on "throwback" socks.

Every time someone falls we yell out "Pimp Down!". You'd have to watch The Bad Girls Club episode 1 to understand that, but it's kind of great.

How cute are the Golden State uniforms with the shape of California on them?

5:20 Tonight on "Follow Through with Drew"...

3:27 Lamar's shirt is taking over for Luke's.

2:41 There's the KB to Drew we've been waiting for!

Even the announcers are commenting on shirt tucking... ahem Andrew!!!

1:somethingorother Kobe wants to sit down on the bench for a bit.

60-59 Lakers


Half Time
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. That's been the story of the first half of the game. That's boring to us. How about some action? Drew leads the team... in scoring, not fouls. Holla.


3rd Quarter
11:17 Arguing with the refs is always the best part of the game.

9:22 "Just a 20" PB&J.

8:24 For reals?

11-0 runs are only cute if it's to our advantage.

7:19 Good recovery D.Fish.

6:12 I'm not a rocket scientist, or a basketballologist but I'm pretty sure throwing the ball into the stands doesn't really do much for you these days.

5:42 D.FISH!!!!!

Okay, we hate mushrooms... if we never had to see the nastiness that is the Carlos Jr. $6 Mushroom Burger commercial again, it'd still be too soon.

3:47 How many times do we have to tell you "no pushing".

2:58 Holla Holla for Kobe. Workin' it!

4.6 Baron and Kobe dance.

92-86 Lakers


4th Quarter
11:43 There's the Jordan we've been missing tonight.

Pimp down! Ariza.

10:44 No feast for Ronny, but will it be famine? Nope, he just wasn't that hungry I guess.

7:57 Kobe and Baron are not friends tonight.

7:37 Radman for the make!

6:58 Kobe to himself for the make.

Oh my god, the other team has more turn overs than we do? It's a night of firsts.

5:08 Pimp down! Lamar... uuuuuuh, careful with the shoulder!!!

2:32 Nice one from J.Critt.

This is in the bag so we're done for the night... its hard to put sentences together in our state anyway, and then spelling? On to the final comments?

123 - 113 Lakers!



Final Comments
Our player of the night: Andrew Bynum. Just go look at his box score and you'll understand. He owned. Good job.

The WTF award of the night: The throwback jersey appearance minus the hot pants... seriously? If you're gonna throw back... throw back! Go big or go home ladies.

Lakers @ Nuggets

A word before the game:
We saw the game yesterday, no thanks to the fine broadcasting guidelines for San Diego County mind you, but with the team down and out we felt it unnecessary to comment on such ridiculous things as uniforms (okay not really, we were just lazy) and besides with no Drew how were we supposed to get our drink on?
Speaking of getting our drink on, for the rest of the season we'll be taking shots:
- Every time the game is broadcast on ESPN (make this one a double to get through the announcers).
- When the opposing team controls the tip off or jump ball.
Classy we know, but if people are going to be drinking to Intervention (we would never do that - honest) then we can drink to basketball.

First head shake of the night: Which of these idiots just said "... the Lakers are looking to snap a 3 game losing streak tonight?" Hi, they won last night.


Tip Off
Mihms, LO, KB, D.Fish and Luuuuuuuuuuuuke! Finally we get to see if the speculation is true that Luke is better as a starter. Aaaaaaaaand take a shot!


1st Quarter
9:50 Mihms is contributing!

6:08 IA (Idiot Announcers): Mihm seems to be warming to this team - you mean the one he plays on/with daily?

5:40 There goes dependable D.Fish again. In the whole.

2:49 Walton to Mihm, Mihm for the miss... we're trying here... real hard.

1:40 J.Far! He must have gotten up while we were on the phone planning Christmas decorating.

47.8 Kooooobe... don't push people down. Tisk tisk.

30.0 Bynum comes in, Melo knocks him over and then has a sit down to tie his shoes. Hmmm, that's less obvious that choking at least, right?

15.3 Hey, there's The Trev. Man, good night all around.

2.5 OH SHIT... KOBE GET UP!!

Okay that doesn't look good... looks like he's off to the locker room. How many people are going to end up on the ground tonight? Do we need to start drinking to that?

29-24 Lakers


2nd Quarter
11:28 J.R. Smith thought he was slick going around Luke and it's no good anyway. Just for that Luke threw it down on the other end.

Did you see Drew block that shit?

8:49 Yay, Kobe's okay, like Fish said, he's a warrior, but how cute was that little hand signal to whoever it was to?

7:43 Damn Radman, damn! Maybe he should just stand in that spot all night long?

6:45 Thanks for the shot Drew, we were getting thirsty.

6:31 - 6:06 Kobe with that crazy backward pass, too bad LO ruined the whole thing huh? But then we go after it again, and KB's shot looks a bit off, but no matter, Radman (the space cadet) gets it done! Holla.

5:01 Okay everybody point to your teams side of the court, last hand in the air loses.

4:42 IA: I've got a new name for the Cavaliers, the LeBroniers - are they honest?

4:22 Luke to Fish for the 3 for the miss. Luke to Fish for the 3 for the make. Just like that, they didn't even move their feet.

2:48 Player down!

2:10 Luke said, "I don't think so" for the block. Was that Luke? We were busy looking at our good friend Orangejello, we must find out who he is and ask him why he's so orange.

62-58 Lakers


Halftime
After much debate we've added an optional rule to the Forum Blue Drinking Game. Decide at the beginning of the game if you want to get tanked or just buzzed. If you answer tanked, then put this rule in play:
Pick a team. Each time a player from your team hits the deck, take a shot. If there's a 5-car pile up, drink if a member of your team is involved, double your drink if someone from your team caused the pile up. Can you tell we like to drink?


3rd Quarter
11:22 Kobe with the to-the-bench personal, but WTF? Iverson was just trying to get back at us for getting Melo ejected for his nonsense last week.

10:08 Luke with the to-the-bench foul, who's next? And how odd that this is not Drew we're talking about.

Let's get tattoos on our necks like Kenyon Martin!

7:58 Carmelo "Palmer" Anthony

We just realized there was no shirtwatch tonight, must be the Championship Gold that just can't be contained.

5:16 LO gets the to-the-bench foul. Oooooh, lets see if we can get the whole goddamn team to have this stat in their boxes.

2:02 Way to make the wide open Trev... oh wait...

34.9 Holla atcha boy J.Critt!

88 - that's the score.


4th Quarter
If either Fish, Mihms, or Jordan get another foul, I'll drink this entire bottle in honor of our 4 with 4.

9:13 Does Lamar Odom feel the extreme need to miss so many shots that I can't even notice the ones he makes? Is that a personal goal of his?

5:41 Goddamnit, Luke SHOOT!

5:14 Okay, but when you shoot, make the basket. This is like BBall 101 is it not?

4:24 Time to turn the bottle up... I think I'm gonna be sick :(


Dear Denver Fans,
While we think you are classes above Utah fans, we're sorta wondering why you're pointing to your Nuggets jerseys that you put on to honor the game you're sitting at. We know you like the Nuggets, now sit down.

2:20 Kobe to Drew just like back in the day. Now what?!?

2:05 Radman with the steal and the foul.

1:47 Lamar, shut your mouth, tell him Kobe, please.

Thank god we're not playing with the optional rule tonight, that bottle up drink courtesy of Fisher was ENOUGH! Btw, if Radman manages to get one more foul this game and everyone else keeps the same amount, there'd be a pretty cool column on the box score page. Something like: 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 1

1:12 This just in, Kobe on fire, Denver not trained in firefighting.

23.2 Drew is a shot blocking machine tonight isn't he?

15.8 Me thinks that foul on Fish was a bad idea Mr. Nugget.

8.3 Dear J.R. Smith,
This is the NBA, not the NFL, no tackling please and thank you!

AI say: The Lakers end a 3 game losing streak - again with this? Nobody told them the first time they said this that they should probably check the records from last night? Idiots.



Final Comments
Our player of the night: Tough call, everyone was quite good tonight, but we're gonna go with Andrew Bynum. His shot blocking made us jump out of our seats more than once, plus without checking again we think he has the best over average tonight.

The Who Gave Them A Microphone award of the night: Whoever gave those announcers a job. Seriously, if they are going to pronounce names incorrectly and hand out false information on a national broadcast, they may as well let us be the announcers, at least we'll make you laugh.

Back to back wins on the road? So we CAN do it! Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Lets see what 3 days off feels like shall we?

Lakers vs. Magic

A word before the game:
There is no we tonight, it is just I. Longhorns @ Bears (you've seen the mascot right?) got off to an exciting start but I'll have to rely on the DVR to see how it ends. We agreed a long time ago that we like Josh Shipp (before we knew he was J.Far's roommate). "Lets jump Shipp". Is it advantageous to play the team you just got traded from? Wonder what Cookie, Mo, and The Trev have to say about that? I know he wasn't very contributing but I liked/miss Cookie a lot.

One last thing: SUNDAY NIGHT WHITES! Love those uniforms.

Tip Off
Kobe, Our Hero D.Fish, Big Drew, Rad Vlad & L-O L-O L-O L-O-V-E (yes, thats an Ashlee Simpson reference... forgive me)



1st Quarter
11:42 Get it Drew! Thats what we want to see all night long baby!

10:03 Radical!

6:43 Pretty low score across the bar so far.

6:19 Drew's first foul! I think his first foul deserves a shot. New game tradition.

6:11 Bye bye Dwight Howard.

And a nice little PS from our favorite announcers (thank God they're back - sorry ESPN), Drew has 2, go fig.

5:17 I'm going to refrain from Mihm hating and just wait until he produces something I can praise him for...

3:46 Kobe thinks he's at shooting practice? No complaints here.

3:28 Kobe just took flight to catch D.Fish's whatever you want to call that, may as well have been at half court and slams it in. Holla!

52.7 Looks like Cookie is already a Laker Hater. Knock KB to the floor and then stand there and look at him, good plan.

30-24 Lakers



2nd Quarter
11:52 Luke just went tap dancing on Mo's head. No hard feelings we swear.

Love watching the football passes.

8:26 Does Luke play so hard that his shirt comes untucked from movement, or does he order his shorts a size too large making it difficult for it to stay put? I really want to know... he's pretty much the only person who has this problem on a consistent basis.

7:39 Yes J.Far should have made that, but good hustle nevertheless Hustleman.

6:58 Kobe just nutmegged himself. I think someone else on your team was claiming that move already.

5:29 Drew just made a free throw in the middle of play. Effortless.

3:33 Kobe to Drew, "Here ya go." Drew to Kobe, "Thanks man, you're the best." They are so cute together.

2:47 Orlando just missed it 3 times in a row. Oops?

We're gonna have to get used to the fact that the boys rack up turnovers like they add to their own score or something.

1:31 D. Fish gets to redeem himself.

63-55 Magicians



Half Time
Lindsay Lohan seemed to be enjoying a quiet night in - only in LA can sitting courtside at a ball game be considered a quiet night. You can tell by the look on everyones face that they know what they need to do to get this done, but will they do it? Lets not repeat Utah, mmkay?
We learned some terminology today:
One Trillion (or any trillion for that matter)
Home Cookin'
And there's always a good time goin' on over at toomuch <-- you either know what that is or you don't. But phrase of the day has been "Duck duck duck duck duck duck boom tho!" That doesn't have much to do with anything other than the fact that I wanted to mention it. Hmmm, is it pronounced communiKAYtive or communiCUHtive?


3rd Quarter
11:05 (thats 55 seconds into the half) Drew gets his 3rd. Take a shot everytime he gets fouled for the rest of the season. Drew, don't get us love drunk off your humps please.

9:13 Fish is an effective but quiet player. He gets it done though.

7:27 See what I mean? FOR THE LOVE OF (&?) BASKETBALL STOP SHOWING US THE TWO SIDES OF DWYANE SPELLING ERROR WADE PLAYING BASKETBALL. THIS IS LA, WE DON'T CARE. K, THANKS.

4:15 Jump ball 'cause theys be brawlin', not ballin', brawlin' on the ground. Does Kobe take dance classes with his daughters to learn that fancy footwork? Dancing with the Stars anyone?

I'm glad somebody else thinks the Utah booing of Derek Fisher was as ridiculous, disrespectful, and disappointing as we did. Seriously WTF Utah?

What just happened in the FSN commercial where I think they were making LO (or was that Kwame? I was barely paying attention), LW, and DF "rockstars", but all they did was walk to the spotlight, look up, and then look at the camera? Note to self: Must go to Sports Chalet for roadtrip.

32.2 Get up Ronny... now stand up straight... that doesn't look very good :( Fix it Vitti! 77-75 Orlando - are they owned by Disney like the entire town they are from (even though knowledgeable folk know that Disney is in Lake Buena Vista NOT Orlando)? 4th Quarter
11:12 Somebody tell Jordan that he can socialize with The Laker Girls after the game is over.

10:54 Mihms for the make!

9:33 No comment.

Shirtwatch 2007 - officially we're going to take shots every time Luke's shirt is untucked now.

6:09 Kobe with the assist goes to the ground and LO drops it in.

5:12 Jordan DOIN THE DAMN THANG! No matter the outcome.

Shirtwatch: Only this time I'm pretty sure someone almost ripped it off of him.

Patrick Ewing got fat. I only mention this because people very very regularly think my dad is Patrick Ewing and um, I'm pretty sure that won't be happening again anytime soon.

2:25 Ronny has a concussion. Not happy.

1:44 There goes the tacos.

18.3 I'm not really sure how it is that we're set up to lose this one right now but that's what it looks like.

17.2 Fish or someone (I find it hard to watch this now) just took a seat at the scorers table. Why not rest right?

Hey, I thought we were gonna see The Trev play tonight because he knows the Magic's style?

104-97 Magic



Final Comments
Nice losing bookends for Saturday... as nice as losing bookends can be I guess. At least it wasn't a shameful loss though. Listen to some TuPac on your drives home gentlemen... Keep Ya Head Up.

Our player of the night: Derek Fisher. He may have only had a handful of points but he's so smooth with it. And he was such an amazingly collected person after being booed by the Utah assholes the other night and didn't let that affect him one bit, how could we not vote for him?

Proof that LA fans are better: Booing Lindsay Lohan who's obviously working on her "health" from the side of the court instead of booing people who put their family above little orange balls.

The Get Your Act Together award of the night: NBA.com and the UCLA Bruins tie.

Reasons we'd be ashamed if we were from Utah

Anybody who saw the game last night knows that Utah won, in fact, Utah pretty much bent us over their collective knee and spanked us. Naturally any pre-established Utah Jazz fan should be rejoicing. And in turn, I offer a round of applause and a blessing from The Tabernacle Choir to the men of the Jazz for a job well done, without two of their star players in rotation.

Who doesn't get a round of applause are the "fans" who attended that game, and anyone else who would have liked nothing more than to be sitting there joining in the antics of the crowd. I'm sure everyone knows the Derek Fisher story by now, but just in case:

He was a Laker long long ago (remember the last handful of back to back championships?), then he went up the coastline for a brief stint with the Warriors. Warrior I'm sure he did, but he kept on going and landed in Utah for a good minute. When his daughter became ill, his nearly newborn daughter, he naturally put his family first and traveled to the best care he could find for her. The most heroic part of this tale comes on the day he was in New York by her side through treatment, immediately after it was over he flew back to Utah, suited up near the end of the playoff game they were in the middle of and threw it down!! winning the game for the Jazz. What a great guy right? Realistically he didn't need to rush back to that game. It's just basketball, and when compared to the life of a child where does it stack up?

At seasons end he respectfully asked out of his contract with the Jazz so that he could go work somewhere that allows him to focus more on his daughter's health, and the well being of his family. The Jazz being the stand up folks that they are, let him go. He landed back in Los Angeles and put his old jersey back on.

Flash forward to the first meet up in Utah since then on Friday, November 30th 2007. A night when you might think that Utah Jazz fans would be overwhelmed to see Derek Fisher, his daughter healthy. Nope. Okay, okay, the man is a great talent and it sucks that he's not there helping out their team anymore, okay fine, we sympathize with that. So it's understandable that they would not cheer for him, because they got their feelings hurt, and might even be a little bit scared that he could help the Lakers beat their home team. Nope. Utah chose instead to show just how caring they really are by booing him all night long. Now, I'm not saying they needed to make "We love you Derek Fisher" posters or anything, but how about the middle ground where they kept their mouths shut? How about sitting quietly in their seat until it's time to cheer for their own team? Hell, we wouldn't have minded if they'd just booed the entire Laker squad. Nope. Lets boo Derek Fisher for putting his family at the top of his priority list.

Not only was the booing obnoxious and distracting (although not for D.Fish - more on that later), but it was downright disrespectful. The fans should have been charged with a collective technical billed to the team for unsportsmanlike conduct. Furthermore, if we had been in the arena, trust and believe there would have been a whole lot less booing (and cowbelling) going on. After that showing we couldn't bring ourselves to support Utah in any venture any longer. Utah needing support for political campaigns? That's nice. Utah being booted from the United States? Oh well. We're not even making sense but at least we're not booing. What's next? Is Utah going to have a natural disaster and then boo FEMA when they come to help? Sounds like a positive experience to me.


Anyone who's already left Utah should be proud of themselves, anyone still there and not by choice (minors, hospice patients) should know we're praying for you, and anyone proud to boo for respectable human beings should walk with their heads hung in shame. Don't call yourself a fan if that's how you intend to act. Seriously. What is wrong with you people?

Stay classy Utah,
Ron & Burgundy

P.S., If PB&J had to apologize for making jokes about movies with homoerotic themes shouldn't these people have to apologize for being douchebags?