81 (Lakers "@" Clippers)

A tale of just the one city but with 2 teams. Home, but away, but still at home. It's kinda like when you're 30 and you go home to visit your parents. You're home but away from home, but you know... it's still like, home and stuff. Totally. Only in California do you get to play as the away team on your home court (facts not checked thoroughly and probably not at all)!! I looooooove LA - even if Randy Newman was "kidding".

A word before the game
As luck would have it K is busy tonight supporting her new love and I (S) am blessed with the KCAL 9 broadcast!!! I'm ready for this, ready to blog about the game all by myself. Lets see if we can make some freethrows tonight. Not that we were particularly bad at it last night or anything, but THEY'RE FREE. How do you pass up on something that's free? Answer me!

Starting Lineup
Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Vladimir Radmanovic, Pau Gasol, and Andrew Bynum - that's my guess anyway.

1st Quarter
Lakers control it (yay) and Pau tips it in for the first bucket of the game. Heeeeeere we go!

11:08 Andrew makes it rain. No pun intended.

Deeeeeelaaaaaay of game. Can we start charging players personally for those? It means we have to sit watching the game longer, we should be getting some money back.

7:47 Ew, someone's beard on the Clippers bench was not cute. If by "not cute" Imean naaasty, who was that?

Oh, it was Skinner. Not dateable.

5:57 Derek Fisher, hot like fiyah! Well, I guess, we'll have to wait and see.

Love Phil standing up looking on disapprovingly. I've missed that so much.

5:12 WHAT? Somoene put a stop to the nonsense on the Clipper bench. Kobe? Fish? Bueller?

4:11 What is everyone pointing at?

The crowd is at full throat tonight, as was expected from the best of L.A. crowd.

3:07 Baron Davis go to the corner. Derek go to the line.

1:44 Wow. Just wow. Why don't we just go home and let the Clippers practice their jumpshots for 3 quarters?

56.3 Now might be a good time for us to excerise some of all of that "depth" we've been bragging about. Phil?

Buzzer: Trevor puts it down, to untie the score finally.

30-27 I think - Lakers



2nd Quarter
Bench mob time. Time to run it and gun it.

9:25 Not the smoothest way to steal a ball but whatever gets it done I suppose.

8:37 Machine camp. Machine shoot.

6:50 UCLA! I guess that makes Jordan "UC" and Trevor "LA"? Love it!

Why does UCLA look so pissed off?

6:22 Ball don't lie y'all. I wasn't paying attention to why those freethrows were awarded but it's been too long since I've been able to say that.

Question on the replay into commercial. Is it easier to rebound sitting down?

4:58 Farmlife!! Swoosh.

I guess nobody cares that Kaman just ran over Trevor?

3:05 Early appearance for one of the garbage pail kids - lets see if Luke can be productive tonight.

1:45 Heres the thing... Yes, Fish made the shot, but... stop pull up jump shooting on fast breaks. STOP IT.
Walton is being productive so far. Let that not be a curse.

36.9 Deeeeeereeeek Fiiiiiisheeeer. Delicious as always. I'm going to build a shrine to his wonderful bald head.

Fumble! Is this Football? Or would you call that a scrum? Soccer?

Okay, I'm not sure if anyone saw this or not but while Kobe was winding down the clock on that second to last posession, he motioned for Luke to head to the corner 3 spot (you know by the bench). His leisurely stroll was one for the ages. This ain't no Sunday afternoon in the park darling. Running will not be penalized. Just sayin'.

59-44 Men of the Lake


Half Time
Quick quiz: Whats the worst fast break you've ever seen?
Answer: Luke Walton to Derek Fisher

I'm trying to get my Barack Obama commercial on during half time, so I really have nothing more to add here, see ya in a bit...


3rd Quarter
Watching D. Fish Sunday Stroll across the mid-court line is getting real old, real fast.

10:32 Good pass (Thornton me thinks)

10:18ish Andrew could probably walk an Olympic beam with those balancing skills.

9:16 Oh now the Clips wanna show up and guard Kobes. Quiet the crowd Kobe, quiet the crowd.

Lakersfunfacts.org: Vladi has a hairy chest.

7:36 Why does Andrew always look like he's going to tell Mom when he gets calls against him?

6:40 I guess we're gonna let the Clips get hot tonight, that's fine I suppose, gotta entertain the home crowd for a bit.

OMG B. Davis' Granmama!

I missed D. Fish's whatever that was, I'm guessing it was a dunk since everyone is up in arms about it.

I'm gonna start charging these guys for over and backs as well. Just cause.

4:13 Well, unless it's because Andrew is blatantly pushing you back over there.

3:20 Kobe steps through a Clipper body window to toss the ball up and in.

I thought the Clippers were better than this this year? If this was going to be the case, why show up? It's only a matter of minutes before Stu starts talking about the fence he needs to paint. Come to think of it, his wife should probably go ahead and hire someone to get that done already.

This ain't 7 seconds or less Trevor, slow it down just a bit.

1:09 MVP! MVP! I mean, what team is the crowd there for?

Quote of the night just now: Do you think it's bothersome to roll up in Staples Center and look up to see the Laker banners hanging and then look down and realize your uniform reads "Clippers"?

85-57 Yeah thats really the score, who do you think is winning?


4th Quarter
Lamar looks hurt? Oh nevermind, that was just an overreaction.

10:47 Look at the Clippers getting points. Heh.

10:28 Jordan Farmar, thats mah boy!

Are we going to have to add a shot rule to the drinking game for "everytime the game clock is missing from the broadcast"? Lets get it together.

9:25 And while we're at it, everytime they silence the broadcast for 5 seconds after we all hear the cuss word from whichever player. Classic.

8:25 Chrissie! I'm not sure who in my life started calling him that, but it made me laugh so hard that I can't call him anything else anymore.

7:53 That would have been an awesome play if it had been completed, the almost play, Sasha to whoever to Trevor. Tastes like an unbaked cookie.

7:35 Sasha with the behind the back to um, oh crap I suck at paying attention, was that Jordan?

Now Lamar's playing with the basketball like it's kid sized. This is a straight up laugh fest at the Clippers expense.

101 -68, when did that become the score? Good god Clippers.
This is what the Lake Show is all about. Hollywood Basketball if you will.

5:58 Garbage Pail Kids!! I'm going to go ahead and say that officially, the GPK is Chrissie, Lukie, and Joshie, with space for DJ and anyone else from the Bench Mob who falls asleep. The starting lineup needs a cutesy nickname.

4:04 Holy shit! Luke to Jordan who apparently got some red bull wings tonight (doesn't he have a cold?). Yeah, holy shit, those were some HOPS.

3:03 GPK is going to work son. Staples is empty.

Heres't the thing about GPK and, I'm sure I already said this yesterday, but... only on the Lakers (and mmmmmaybe on the Celtics) are they going to be the guys on the end of the bench. You find me another team in the league where you'd put Luke, Chris and Josh on the end of the bench and I'll show you a lie. God it's good to be a Laker fan right this moment.

Another random note: Can we get tacos if we're the away team? The score is pretty ridiculous right now. I don't even want to talk about it.

29.0 I know Luke wants the nutmeg (betwixt the legs) to be his signature pass but he needs to make it work a little bit better before we'll just call him Nutmeg instead of Traffic Cone

Okay, I have to admit, Jordan giving interviews after games is really awesome. Who needs to talk to Kobe anymore?

Uhhhhh 117 - 79 (or pretty much nothing)

Final Comments
Things its really too early in the season to be saying outloud but I'm saying them anyway:
- Chrissie is about half a game away from losing his "Hey there's that guy" title.
- An undefeated season in the NBA is actually possible.
- The Garbage Pail Kids are going to kill someone this year.
- Luke isn't going to be a Traffic Cone this year.

Player of the Night - Jordan Farmar because he is a catalyst. If Sarah Palin hadn't ruined it we'd call him a maverick.

Play of the Night - Luke to Jordan for a put down and an around the world tour of the rim before he drops to the ground.

The "Hell Yeah Bitches" award of the night - The Bench mob, because, well... Hell yeah, bitches!

Quote of the night - "Obviously you guys think you can win every single game this season" - Whoever, interviewing Jordan after the game. Damn right.

Sidenote of the night - Warriors were hangin tough with the Hornets tonight, we were both pullin for them to kick through this one... the season is young.

Game 5 and beyond, Round 2 Lakers - Jazz

As expected, the boys took care of things at home. We know that it's the playoffs and we understand why, but what the hell happened to Ira Newble, DJ Mbenga, Coby Karl, and Chris Mihm? We're just sayin'.

A few notes:
We're glad Jordan is getting back to himself, he's got a ways to go, but he's getting there.
Kobe's back is like the 6th member of the team at all times, it gets a lot of press, more press than Kobe's fingers got, there might be some jealousy soon. In fact if any reporter out there sees this and would do us the favor of asking Kobe if his finger is jealous of the attention his back is getting, we would love you FOREVER!
How long do Upper Respiratory Infections last?
Sasha did not name himself The Machine, please, for the love of Godot, TNT and ESPN, stop saying he named himself that. Where does this folklore come from? What are you talking about? Please check with your buddies at KCAL/FSN, Joel Meyers & Stu Lantz.


Instead of talking about relevant things that may or may not have happened in game 5, how about we just give you some of the best quotes around the internet pertaining to this series?


There are 9 white guys on the court right now. Kinda rare.
&
(and I'm counting Farmar/Deron as one)
Comment by carter blanchard — May 14, 2008 on Forum Blue & Gold

Referring of course to the following line up in game 5: Pau Gasol, Jordan Farmar, Luke Walton, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Sasha Vujacic for the Lakers. Deron Williams, Andrei Kirilenko, Mehmet Okur, Kyle Korver, and Matt Harpring for the Jazz.

i love going to the game
i love the freaks at the game
i love the hippies the yuppies the gangbangers the lawyers the
corporate suits the trendy teenagers
the flaunters the humble fans the true fans the band wagoneers the
thugs the thoughtful
the fathers and mothers and kids the intelligent observers of the
game the drunken yelling morons
the hot silicone chicks with painted fingernails who parade around and
dont pay attention to the game
the black the white the brown the red the yellow
i love em all at the game
when everyone is rooting together
when we all come together
when we are all one for a little while but like it should always be
thats cool
From Flea's blog on NBA.com

and finally:
Luke Walton: Mitch Kupchak finished second in NBA Executive of the Year voting, and it was well-deserved. For the most part. But the six-year, $30 million contract he gave to Walton was as good a reason as any that Kups didn't come in first. The Son of Bill must have been channeling the spirit of his daddy's feet, because he played a pretty worthless 13 minutes: 1 point, 0-for-1, 2 rebounds, zero assists, 1 turnover, 1 steal and 2 personal fouls. And just think: The Lakers can look forward to five more years of this!
from Basketbawful



Let's go ahead and take care of things in Utah tonight shall we? If the guy with the "Not room service again" doll wasn't enough to make it a we're-gonna-win-so-you-can-shut-the-hell-up game, then surely the guy covering up his eye and screaming at D.Fish was. Maybe he got tuned out, as he should have been, by everyone on the floor and maybe that's why it didn't become personal, but it needs to be this time around. That guy is the reason so many people across the nation HATE the Jazz fans. Hate. We were going to write about how classless that was but we don't even have the energy to waste on such ridiculousness so just let it be said that some guy in Utah might be ball less soon, and we're not talking about anyone on the Jazz team.

Let's go Lakers!

Home isn't always where the heart needs to be

Patriots fans may be crass, but Los Angeles fans, and more specifically tonight, Lakers fans are down right abysmal. Bottom line to this one is that you don't boo your home team/players. If that's how you feel, stay at home. This is not the first time, even this season, that one of the Lakers have been unanimously booed by the "fans", first it was Kobe, at a time when it was really hard to stand up for Kobe as an outsider looking in, all you can see is this "leader" not leading. Still booing Kobe Bryant does you no good, unless you need to get your booing averages up.
Tonight was Kwame's night. He did play terrible basketball, let the record stand, but let's explore some things before we make up our minds. Kwame is fighting his way back to his fighting weight. Most people recover from injury slowly, not overnight because someone else at work got hurt, it just doesn't work that way. While he may not have been productive on offense, his defense was enough to keep us from being bent over the knee and spanked by the Suns whom we hate so much, which ain't half bad. He did manage 6 rebounds and 8 points. And if you're thinking the booing helped, it didn't, there's probably a good reason behind why he left without talking to the media or even his teammates after the game.

What's even more outrageous is the selectiveness of the booing. 2 rebounds, 1 assist, 2 blocks against.That was Luke Walton's box score. That's downright pathetic. 1 assist for the guy who's supposed to be the greatest passer of all times (or of this time? or of the Lakers? or whatever?)? Just 1? Okay thanks Luke. 2 blocks against? Put the ball in the hole. 2 rebounds, that's not half bad. But what you won't see up there are points, that's cause he had none. None. In fact unless you got a DNP last night for the Lakers you got at least 2 points in your personal box, well, unless it was the case that your name was Luke Walton. Where was all of that basketball IQ he's got? WWBS?
Did Luke get booed? Nope. Is anyone even mad that a veteran of his nature SCORED NO POINTS? Don't get me wrong, we love Luke in all of his forum blueness, but you either show the class of the Jazz fans and boo Luke as well as Kwame or you be a good fan and support your team when the only player they've got left to fill a role is suffering through the end of an injury and the added pressure of having to play no matter what. One or the other Lakers fans. And since you're such great fans I know you're going to get all "but he's not the only option, remember Turiaf!" on me. I do remember Turiaf, I also remember that his championship gold gets him in a lot of foul trouble in a little playing time, so basically we can go ahead and say he's the other option and then when we've ended a quarter and a quarter of a quarter and he's fouled out of the game we'll then what? Forfeit? Kwame is our only option for now, with Ronny coming in to give him a quick breather, so support him or buy season seats to the Clippers.