We're not going to waste time intro'ing this, it's just a girls version of an existing sports blog. And by all means if you have something relevant to add, comment away.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

81 (Lakers "@" Clippers)

A tale of just the one city but with 2 teams. Home, but away, but still at home. It's kinda like when you're 30 and you go home to visit your parents. You're home but away from home, but you know... it's still like, home and stuff. Totally. Only in California do you get to play as the away team on your home court (facts not checked thoroughly and probably not at all)!! I looooooove LA - even if Randy Newman was "kidding".

A word before the game
As luck would have it K is busy tonight supporting her new love and I (S) am blessed with the KCAL 9 broadcast!!! I'm ready for this, ready to blog about the game all by myself. Lets see if we can make some freethrows tonight. Not that we were particularly bad at it last night or anything, but THEY'RE FREE. How do you pass up on something that's free? Answer me!

Starting Lineup
Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Vladimir Radmanovic, Pau Gasol, and Andrew Bynum - that's my guess anyway.

1st Quarter
Lakers control it (yay) and Pau tips it in for the first bucket of the game. Heeeeeere we go!

11:08 Andrew makes it rain. No pun intended.

Deeeeeelaaaaaay of game. Can we start charging players personally for those? It means we have to sit watching the game longer, we should be getting some money back.

7:47 Ew, someone's beard on the Clippers bench was not cute. If by "not cute" Imean naaasty, who was that?

Oh, it was Skinner. Not dateable.

5:57 Derek Fisher, hot like fiyah! Well, I guess, we'll have to wait and see.

Love Phil standing up looking on disapprovingly. I've missed that so much.

5:12 WHAT? Somoene put a stop to the nonsense on the Clipper bench. Kobe? Fish? Bueller?

4:11 What is everyone pointing at?

The crowd is at full throat tonight, as was expected from the best of L.A. crowd.

3:07 Baron Davis go to the corner. Derek go to the line.

1:44 Wow. Just wow. Why don't we just go home and let the Clippers practice their jumpshots for 3 quarters?

56.3 Now might be a good time for us to excerise some of all of that "depth" we've been bragging about. Phil?

Buzzer: Trevor puts it down, to untie the score finally.

30-27 I think - Lakers



2nd Quarter
Bench mob time. Time to run it and gun it.

9:25 Not the smoothest way to steal a ball but whatever gets it done I suppose.

8:37 Machine camp. Machine shoot.

6:50 UCLA! I guess that makes Jordan "UC" and Trevor "LA"? Love it!

Why does UCLA look so pissed off?

6:22 Ball don't lie y'all. I wasn't paying attention to why those freethrows were awarded but it's been too long since I've been able to say that.

Question on the replay into commercial. Is it easier to rebound sitting down?

4:58 Farmlife!! Swoosh.

I guess nobody cares that Kaman just ran over Trevor?

3:05 Early appearance for one of the garbage pail kids - lets see if Luke can be productive tonight.

1:45 Heres the thing... Yes, Fish made the shot, but... stop pull up jump shooting on fast breaks. STOP IT.
Walton is being productive so far. Let that not be a curse.

36.9 Deeeeeereeeek Fiiiiiisheeeer. Delicious as always. I'm going to build a shrine to his wonderful bald head.

Fumble! Is this Football? Or would you call that a scrum? Soccer?

Okay, I'm not sure if anyone saw this or not but while Kobe was winding down the clock on that second to last posession, he motioned for Luke to head to the corner 3 spot (you know by the bench). His leisurely stroll was one for the ages. This ain't no Sunday afternoon in the park darling. Running will not be penalized. Just sayin'.

59-44 Men of the Lake


Half Time
Quick quiz: Whats the worst fast break you've ever seen?
Answer: Luke Walton to Derek Fisher

I'm trying to get my Barack Obama commercial on during half time, so I really have nothing more to add here, see ya in a bit...


3rd Quarter
Watching D. Fish Sunday Stroll across the mid-court line is getting real old, real fast.

10:32 Good pass (Thornton me thinks)

10:18ish Andrew could probably walk an Olympic beam with those balancing skills.

9:16 Oh now the Clips wanna show up and guard Kobes. Quiet the crowd Kobe, quiet the crowd.

Lakersfunfacts.org: Vladi has a hairy chest.

7:36 Why does Andrew always look like he's going to tell Mom when he gets calls against him?

6:40 I guess we're gonna let the Clips get hot tonight, that's fine I suppose, gotta entertain the home crowd for a bit.

OMG B. Davis' Granmama!

I missed D. Fish's whatever that was, I'm guessing it was a dunk since everyone is up in arms about it.

I'm gonna start charging these guys for over and backs as well. Just cause.

4:13 Well, unless it's because Andrew is blatantly pushing you back over there.

3:20 Kobe steps through a Clipper body window to toss the ball up and in.

I thought the Clippers were better than this this year? If this was going to be the case, why show up? It's only a matter of minutes before Stu starts talking about the fence he needs to paint. Come to think of it, his wife should probably go ahead and hire someone to get that done already.

This ain't 7 seconds or less Trevor, slow it down just a bit.

1:09 MVP! MVP! I mean, what team is the crowd there for?

Quote of the night just now: Do you think it's bothersome to roll up in Staples Center and look up to see the Laker banners hanging and then look down and realize your uniform reads "Clippers"?

85-57 Yeah thats really the score, who do you think is winning?


4th Quarter
Lamar looks hurt? Oh nevermind, that was just an overreaction.

10:47 Look at the Clippers getting points. Heh.

10:28 Jordan Farmar, thats mah boy!

Are we going to have to add a shot rule to the drinking game for "everytime the game clock is missing from the broadcast"? Lets get it together.

9:25 And while we're at it, everytime they silence the broadcast for 5 seconds after we all hear the cuss word from whichever player. Classic.

8:25 Chrissie! I'm not sure who in my life started calling him that, but it made me laugh so hard that I can't call him anything else anymore.

7:53 That would have been an awesome play if it had been completed, the almost play, Sasha to whoever to Trevor. Tastes like an unbaked cookie.

7:35 Sasha with the behind the back to um, oh crap I suck at paying attention, was that Jordan?

Now Lamar's playing with the basketball like it's kid sized. This is a straight up laugh fest at the Clippers expense.

101 -68, when did that become the score? Good god Clippers.
This is what the Lake Show is all about. Hollywood Basketball if you will.

5:58 Garbage Pail Kids!! I'm going to go ahead and say that officially, the GPK is Chrissie, Lukie, and Joshie, with space for DJ and anyone else from the Bench Mob who falls asleep. The starting lineup needs a cutesy nickname.

4:04 Holy shit! Luke to Jordan who apparently got some red bull wings tonight (doesn't he have a cold?). Yeah, holy shit, those were some HOPS.

3:03 GPK is going to work son. Staples is empty.

Heres't the thing about GPK and, I'm sure I already said this yesterday, but... only on the Lakers (and mmmmmaybe on the Celtics) are they going to be the guys on the end of the bench. You find me another team in the league where you'd put Luke, Chris and Josh on the end of the bench and I'll show you a lie. God it's good to be a Laker fan right this moment.

Another random note: Can we get tacos if we're the away team? The score is pretty ridiculous right now. I don't even want to talk about it.

29.0 I know Luke wants the nutmeg (betwixt the legs) to be his signature pass but he needs to make it work a little bit better before we'll just call him Nutmeg instead of Traffic Cone

Okay, I have to admit, Jordan giving interviews after games is really awesome. Who needs to talk to Kobe anymore?

Uhhhhh 117 - 79 (or pretty much nothing)

Final Comments
Things its really too early in the season to be saying outloud but I'm saying them anyway:
- Chrissie is about half a game away from losing his "Hey there's that guy" title.
- An undefeated season in the NBA is actually possible.
- The Garbage Pail Kids are going to kill someone this year.
- Luke isn't going to be a Traffic Cone this year.

Player of the Night - Jordan Farmar because he is a catalyst. If Sarah Palin hadn't ruined it we'd call him a maverick.

Play of the Night - Luke to Jordan for a put down and an around the world tour of the rim before he drops to the ground.

The "Hell Yeah Bitches" award of the night - The Bench mob, because, well... Hell yeah, bitches!

Quote of the night - "Obviously you guys think you can win every single game this season" - Whoever, interviewing Jordan after the game. Damn right.

Sidenote of the night - Warriors were hangin tough with the Hornets tonight, we were both pullin for them to kick through this one... the season is young.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

82 (Lakers vs. Trailblazers)

Like Christmas morning, tonight is going to be the best night of the year! Although that'll probably be said more than a few times this season. Did you hear that? This Season! It's here, it's here, it's here!!!

Okay, enough giddy school girl nonsense, on with the show...

As promised this season's blogging will be different given that the two of us (K & S) live elsewhere now. No longer in the motherland, so sad... but we'll try to get as many games a possible and where necessary we'll sign comments with either a K or an S everyone is not so confused.

K actually follows another team now, we won't talk about that, but she's agreed to give the opening paragraph tonight:

I do not follow another team by choice, circumstances ya know...

A word before the game:
Opening night in the NBA and of course the Celtics are playing, of course we don't care, but big money comes from showing them the first night out. The Lakers are up 2nd on TNT. You know what that means (the game will be delayed by at least 20 minutes). Love for Turner is never-ending here. It also means the comical stylings of Sir Charles are back! You know you missed his nonsense. ADMIT IT.

This season we have a motto for the Lakeshow, Take No Prisoners. That's how they need to attack this thing, after all, you can't take prisoners if you kill them all. Kill and destroy. So exciting to see the boys back in the FB&CG and occasionally the SNW. Look out this season for Jordan to notch himself permanently in our "hero" position, for Mihm to no longer be "that guy", and for a championship parade that we'll be forced to fly in for. Woo-hoo.


Starting Lineup
K to the O to the B to the E, Pow Pau Popozao, D.Fish, Radman, and a finally completely legal Drew

Now lets get it on!

1st Quarter
Its so fun missing tip-off due to TNT double-headers, it's kind of the best. No really.

No clue what the time in the game is because TNT doesn't want to be bothered with posting clocks or anything like that but: D. Fish!

Seriously where are the game clocks???

Pretty sure LO pushed him, but we're okay with the way it shook down.

Drew is back y'all. Nobody gets a body on Andrew, nobody.

LO passes to Sasha... wait... Machine isn't in the game?
"Machine camp, shoot from bench. No matter" - Jeff at Forumblueandgold.com

Pau, please don't start your whining, it's very very early in the season.

Time to start some UCLA plays - right away The Trev for the dunk, and then the wide open 3.

Oh look there's the game clocks. Just in time for the quarter to be over with.


2nd Quarter
Jordan plays well with everyone.

Machine shoot. No good.

Machine shoot. No good.

Machine shoot. Good!

Kobe - Pau, just like old times.

We all know that Oden looks like LeBron, but how is it that he looks a full 10 years older?

Radman! Not that we even needed it or anything, this is kind of depressing to watch, its not even a game at this point.

No more spinny spin for you Mr. Bryant.

Whatever the score is, it's Lakers by a lot.

Half Time
Lets look at replay of Lamar passing to Sasha. Can't wait for the write up on that one from Basketbawful tomorrow.
We spent the halftime break reliving the Machine videos over at Lakers-Fans.com so we have no idea what Charles Barkley was talking about. But, we'll try to put the time stamp on the second half of the game now that we can focus a little bit. Try being the operative word here.


3rd Quarter
9:06 Rough start to the second half, all of a sudden we're only up by 8?

8:33 When in doubt, KB24 will work it out.

MVP shouts, we assume, will continue throughout the entire season. Do we get tacos? We want to hear those chants as well.

Just a random question at the time out... Are the high fives mandatory? I mean, what if you don't want to slap hands with your teammates when they come from the floor or after they make/miss (so really whenever they take) freethrows? Will you be fined? Is that unsportsmanlike?

4:47 Vladi (you'd have to hear us say that outloud... or you could watch his cameo in the Machine videos to hear it).

2:35 Is it that they don't have shot clocks in Portland? Way to blaze that trail guys.

Mic'ing Lamar is odd, it's like listening to Justin Bobby talk. See: Hills, The on MTV.

1:17 Now even the fans are required to slap hands with the players that crash into them.

30.1 Pau needs lessons in finishing shit up. Just sayin'.

Its also really early in the season to start Oden watch again. If by "really early" we mean, it's only the first night.


4th Quarter
11:03 Hmmm, thats not quite how the UCLA plays are supposed to end.
Technical fouls are the bestest, Trevor.

Oh look there's homeless looking Luke Walton on the bench.

Woah, we missed what happened, girl talk interrupted.

8:50 Trevor blocks that with a vengeance. Outta his face!

7:37 More Trevor. Mmmmmmmmmm!

6:22 Farm Life with the almost put back, we love him, yes we do.

3:41 Kobe Bryant taking no prisoners! You thought he was going to have a quiet night?
You can put those thoughts on the permanent "mmm-mmnn" list.

Bloooooooooooowz to be Greg Oden. Blowz.

2:37 Hahahahaha, the lineup, Powell, Walton, Mihm and everybody else. Actually, when those are the guys getting your garbage minutes it has to be a good thing. So we're only laughing because... well, I'm not sure why we're laughing, but its funny okay?

25.1 Mihm with the "hell no" block.

Jordan pads the score but no tacos y'all.

96-76 Laaakers, Takers, Money-makers

Final Comments
Not too much criticism tonight since it's game uno, but this niceness shall soon pass, believe that.
One thing though, this game was wide open enough that the "garbage pail kids" should have gotten a little more playing time, gotta pick those battles while you're able to Phil.

Player of the Night - Kobe just cause
Play of the Night - LO's pass to Sasha on the bench
Quote of the Night - See 1st Quarter (LO's pass)

1 down, 81 to go

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Lakers vs Kings

Thanks to DirecTV and NBATV for the free preview until the end of the month, we're watching the game on the big screen! Pizza, beer, and channel flipping between the Lakers and the Chargers, what more could a girl ask for?

We were at this very pre-season game last year, Vegas is best done on a Friday night (for future reference y'all). But tonight is the first appearance of the Sunday Night Whites, and we couldn't be happier. Well, we could be happier, if say... we were in Vegas. Oh and if Drew didn't have to wear a brace on the knee, but better safe than sorry.

Oh my god don't fall! (Jordan)

Kobe misses - oddly enough - but then puts it right back in on the next trip down.

In related news the Chargers are doing work on the Patriots, just the way we like it.

Son of George needs to hang onto his spot on the end of the pine, we neeeeeeed Son of George. Need.

Let us tell you this season why it's difficult to be a Lakers fan living in another state. We'll count the ways, you can count on that.


Powell looks pretty good out there, ok, he looks alright out there, but we can't be forced to get used to the newbies until opening day, it's just easier that way. So instead we wanted to join the ranks of everyone in the world talking about how Drew got all swolled up over the summer, and yeah...
Wait, what were we saying? Anyway, Jordan is still our hero and he looks like he's had a good summer. Luke's out but we're holding off on making fun of him in light of stalkerfest 2007-2008. And good god is it good to see The Trev back out there, god! Oh oh, and don't forget Chris, Christopher, Chrissie Mihm. Can he just be productive this season? Is that asking so much?

Ok, maybe we owe Chrissie a little credit... Mihm got hops, how he get that?

TREVOR!

Chargers 30, Patriots 10 (we guess, we stopped watching because whats the point?) Woohoo!

Since it's impossible to concentrate on the game thanks to Charger victory mayhem outside right this moment, let us take a second to talk about how sad and solemn it is without Ronny on the bench :(

DJ's out there hustlin' "Everyday I'm hustlin, hustlin, everyday, everyday, everyday I'm hustlin" If you don't understand that, hit google.

Wooooohooooo, good night for sports. First pre-season, meaningless win of the year!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Ready or not...


Good lordy, if this doesn't make you giddy you probably eat babies for dinner or something