Thursday, March 27, 2008
Mambaaaaaaaaaa ooooooooooo
Best part:
Mitch to Chris on the phone,
"Will you let Gasol go?"
"For Kwame? Nooooooo, we will not let him go!"
Let him gooooo!
"We will not let him go!"
"For draft picks?"
"Nooooooo!"
Let him go!
"And point guards?"
"Nooooooo!"
Let him go!
"How 'bout for Gasol? Give us Pau Gasol"
Runner up:
I see Phil Jackson staring gently at his hand
Jeanie Buss, Jeanie Buss can you do the fandango
Sexual frustration could threaten Laker nation
Shaq
Is an old man, is an old man, is an old man, is an old man, is an old man and he's slow
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Los Lakers vs. Warriors
A word before the game:
Happy Easter! It's Sunday Night Whites, but not just ANY SNW, it's Noche Latino which means Los Lakers! There's still a lot of bracket madness going on so we haven't even been paying attention to the Lakers enough to have any intelligent pregame conversation about them. Pau isn't playing still :(
Tip Off
Radman, Turiaf (we've perfected saying his name the way he does), Bryant, Fisher, L. Odom
1st Quarter
Well the good news is that we have no idea what happened during the first quarter thanks to the DVR crapping out even though we've only had this one for 1 week (7 days as of today) thanks DirecTv. If you're new around here, we HATE DirecTv even more than we hate USC but there really aren't many options so we have to sit idly by and hate them, crossing our fingers hoping that we get to actually watch the TV we pay for whether it works or not.
2nd Quarter
5:59 Oh welcome back to the TV you're paying for!
4:46 Sasha takes a "I have nothing better to do tonight than blow the game" shot. What do you know, he misses, but then he hustles back so are we mad or not?
4:39 Damn, Luke is sweaty.
3:41 Oh there goes DirecTV again. You know what we didn't want to see this game anyway.
Okay so we've gone to a streaming site in order to watch now because this is bullshit!
2:49 & 2:35 Luke passes to Golden Statesmen... there really should be some sort of class they take where they learn the difference between "my team and the other team".
2:33 Please hit yourself in the face with the ball a few more times Mr. Walton, it might help you see colors better.
2:10 Since we're down by so much Kobe decides to beat the shit out of whoever has the ball so they can have some free throws.
1:03 This is where the downfall starts. Sasha gets nothing from the corner, then Lamar gets stripped by Davis and falls on his ass. Warriors get it done then we're back to the Laker's end of the floor where Kobe misses it, then Derek misses is (or did Derek miss it first?), then someone else misses it before the buzzer. Pretty sure the goal of the game is to put the ball inside of the hole. If the NBA was giving away points for hitting the rim we'd have kicked the shit out of the Warriors in this past minute, but they don't.
Half Time
We'd like to see DirecTv get it's act together so we can watch the rest of the game without squinting at the stream on the computer, but that's probably asking for too much isn't it?
3rd Quarter
11:14 Los Ronny needs to make both of his freethrows because his team is losing still.
10:10 Kobe to Ronny for the zip.
9:37 Have these guys had too much Easter ham? Why not let Karl, Newble and the injureds play instead?
9:11 It's going to be a long night for Kobe and the gang.
7:14 We're not even sure how Derek ended up twirling around on the floor but at least Kobe made the shot.
Kobe has put on his "fuck that" face and you can mark our words from here on out he's going to make everyone on the floor hate their own lives.
5:13 Radman with a Walton shot - nowhere near the basket just the way we like it!
3:30 Coach Nellie looks stressed.
3:16 "A couple of poor decisions" doesn't even begin to describe what Luke did in the first half.
2:55 Kinda like how he laid on the floor while the rest of his team ran to the other side.
2:34 Fisher's got HOPS!!! And nobody was there to stop 'em.
Get there Lakers.
Did Luke just block that?
1:27 Fisher with another of his rainbow shots, love the arc on his shots. Love.
48.3 Lamar's pass to Kobe looked like it wasn't going to work but damn if it didn't.
87-81 Warriors
4th Quarter
9:35 If Jordan is going to senselessly foul people can he at least get his hair cut?
Kobe? Wide open? We'll take it!
7:45 Sasha needs to make shots.
6:48 Kobe takes it, runs it, passes to himself behind his back, spins and passes behind someone elses back to Ronny who gets the 2 and 1. AND TIES IT!
We just seriously yelped. When basketball gets exciting...
3:21 Thank god L. Odom was there to tap in Luke's usual non-make. It's anybodies game at this point.
56.4 1 point game?
We didn't foul them because it's more fun to risk losing.
8.1 The Warriors' little celebratory bullshit is really annoying. They kind of remind us of gangsters at a drive by.
115-111 Warriors
Final Comments
I mean... they had a pretty valiant come back, but the better question is, "Why were we in a position to need to come back?" Think about that Los Lakers.
Due to the lack of solid TV service we're not prepared to give out a bunch of awards but we're certainly giving out the
Player of the Night Award: Derek Fisher for his pretty shots that brought us back from the dead in the 3rd Quarter! And because we still aren't able to release our comments from the Utah game and we need to shout him out for "using his daughters' illness as a convenience"
Happy Easter! It's Sunday Night Whites, but not just ANY SNW, it's Noche Latino which means Los Lakers! There's still a lot of bracket madness going on so we haven't even been paying attention to the Lakers enough to have any intelligent pregame conversation about them. Pau isn't playing still :(
Tip Off
Radman, Turiaf (we've perfected saying his name the way he does), Bryant, Fisher, L. Odom
1st Quarter
Well the good news is that we have no idea what happened during the first quarter thanks to the DVR crapping out even though we've only had this one for 1 week (7 days as of today) thanks DirecTv. If you're new around here, we HATE DirecTv even more than we hate USC but there really aren't many options so we have to sit idly by and hate them, crossing our fingers hoping that we get to actually watch the TV we pay for whether it works or not.
2nd Quarter
5:59 Oh welcome back to the TV you're paying for!
4:46 Sasha takes a "I have nothing better to do tonight than blow the game" shot. What do you know, he misses, but then he hustles back so are we mad or not?
4:39 Damn, Luke is sweaty.
3:41 Oh there goes DirecTV again. You know what we didn't want to see this game anyway.
Okay so we've gone to a streaming site in order to watch now because this is bullshit!
2:49 & 2:35 Luke passes to Golden Statesmen... there really should be some sort of class they take where they learn the difference between "my team and the other team".
2:33 Please hit yourself in the face with the ball a few more times Mr. Walton, it might help you see colors better.
2:10 Since we're down by so much Kobe decides to beat the shit out of whoever has the ball so they can have some free throws.
1:03 This is where the downfall starts. Sasha gets nothing from the corner, then Lamar gets stripped by Davis and falls on his ass. Warriors get it done then we're back to the Laker's end of the floor where Kobe misses it, then Derek misses is (or did Derek miss it first?), then someone else misses it before the buzzer. Pretty sure the goal of the game is to put the ball inside of the hole. If the NBA was giving away points for hitting the rim we'd have kicked the shit out of the Warriors in this past minute, but they don't.
Half Time
We'd like to see DirecTv get it's act together so we can watch the rest of the game without squinting at the stream on the computer, but that's probably asking for too much isn't it?
3rd Quarter
11:14 Los Ronny needs to make both of his freethrows because his team is losing still.
10:10 Kobe to Ronny for the zip.
9:37 Have these guys had too much Easter ham? Why not let Karl, Newble and the injureds play instead?
9:11 It's going to be a long night for Kobe and the gang.
7:14 We're not even sure how Derek ended up twirling around on the floor but at least Kobe made the shot.
Kobe has put on his "fuck that" face and you can mark our words from here on out he's going to make everyone on the floor hate their own lives.
5:13 Radman with a Walton shot - nowhere near the basket just the way we like it!
3:30 Coach Nellie looks stressed.
3:16 "A couple of poor decisions" doesn't even begin to describe what Luke did in the first half.
2:55 Kinda like how he laid on the floor while the rest of his team ran to the other side.
2:34 Fisher's got HOPS!!! And nobody was there to stop 'em.
Get there Lakers.
Did Luke just block that?
1:27 Fisher with another of his rainbow shots, love the arc on his shots. Love.
48.3 Lamar's pass to Kobe looked like it wasn't going to work but damn if it didn't.
87-81 Warriors
4th Quarter
9:35 If Jordan is going to senselessly foul people can he at least get his hair cut?
Kobe? Wide open? We'll take it!
7:45 Sasha needs to make shots.
6:48 Kobe takes it, runs it, passes to himself behind his back, spins and passes behind someone elses back to Ronny who gets the 2 and 1. AND TIES IT!
We just seriously yelped. When basketball gets exciting...
3:21 Thank god L. Odom was there to tap in Luke's usual non-make. It's anybodies game at this point.
56.4 1 point game?
We didn't foul them because it's more fun to risk losing.
8.1 The Warriors' little celebratory bullshit is really annoying. They kind of remind us of gangsters at a drive by.
115-111 Warriors
Final Comments
I mean... they had a pretty valiant come back, but the better question is, "Why were we in a position to need to come back?" Think about that Los Lakers.
Due to the lack of solid TV service we're not prepared to give out a bunch of awards but we're certainly giving out the
Player of the Night Award: Derek Fisher for his pretty shots that brought us back from the dead in the 3rd Quarter! And because we still aren't able to release our comments from the Utah game and we need to shout him out for "using his daughters' illness as a convenience"
Friday, March 21, 2008
Lakers vs. Sonics
A word before the game:
I mean... our blog from last night's game is so offensively anti-Walton we had to have a 3rd party come in and water it down before we can post it to the public. No, seriously. It's pretty bad. Not to mention our love fest for the Utah fans We'll try to hold it together tonight.
There's a lot of bracket madness going on, as was expected, so we just want to give a shout out to whoever the hell kicked the shit out of USC. We hate (understatement) all things USC. Well done sirs, well done.
Tip Off
The recent "usual"
1st Quarter
10:41 We're up by 4, in fact it's 4-0 at the top of the game and Lamar et al are boxing people in the corner and racking up fouls. It's gonna be one of those kind of nights is it?
6:53 Good thing we've got the #8 free throw shooter in the league to brick 'em for us. coughDerekFishercough. Excuse my cold.
Trevor looks quite nice in his suit.
Wow, we've never fallen asleep this early in the game, but Lamar's "persuing perfection" intro was worse than an overdose. Perfection isn't much when it's 3 shots. Just sayin'.
3:35 Ronny is our new hero, Farm life pretty much died a few weeks ago.
2:55 "Don't forget about Chris Mihm"? Most bandwagon fans don't even know who he is.
32.0 Easy with the taunting Kobe, last night's ended in Utah class acts.
34-21 Lakers
2nd Quarter
We're down with the JC and everything but Jesus Christ who let Life With Walton off the bench?
11:24 Durant might get Mbeat up by Mbenga after the game after that stare down.
10:36 Maybe it's because of his lack of haircut, but Jordan forgets the rules of basketball include a 3 second violation.
Could Sasha have better hair than us?
6:45 Luke for nothing!
6:13 Everybody on the floor. Holla!
We clearly have a short set of attention spans because we stopped paying attention long ago to concentrate on Webmd's diagnosis or lack of. Maybe the second half will excite us?
Half Time
3rd Quarter
Nope, second half is just as boring, also, Webmd says that I'm going to die soon so we're shutting down early to watch our last game together. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll make it to Noche Latina to see Los Lakers! Es todo! We're predicting win. Maybe we'll re-watch the game on the DVR tomorrow and at least leave some final comments.
4th Quarter
Final Comments
I mean... our blog from last night's game is so offensively anti-Walton we had to have a 3rd party come in and water it down before we can post it to the public. No, seriously. It's pretty bad. Not to mention our love fest for the Utah fans We'll try to hold it together tonight.
There's a lot of bracket madness going on, as was expected, so we just want to give a shout out to whoever the hell kicked the shit out of USC. We hate (understatement) all things USC. Well done sirs, well done.
Tip Off
The recent "usual"
1st Quarter
10:41 We're up by 4, in fact it's 4-0 at the top of the game and Lamar et al are boxing people in the corner and racking up fouls. It's gonna be one of those kind of nights is it?
6:53 Good thing we've got the #8 free throw shooter in the league to brick 'em for us. coughDerekFishercough. Excuse my cold.
Trevor looks quite nice in his suit.
Wow, we've never fallen asleep this early in the game, but Lamar's "persuing perfection" intro was worse than an overdose. Perfection isn't much when it's 3 shots. Just sayin'.
3:35 Ronny is our new hero, Farm life pretty much died a few weeks ago.
2:55 "Don't forget about Chris Mihm"? Most bandwagon fans don't even know who he is.
32.0 Easy with the taunting Kobe, last night's ended in Utah class acts.
34-21 Lakers
2nd Quarter
We're down with the JC and everything but Jesus Christ who let Life With Walton off the bench?
11:24 Durant might get Mbeat up by Mbenga after the game after that stare down.
10:36 Maybe it's because of his lack of haircut, but Jordan forgets the rules of basketball include a 3 second violation.
Could Sasha have better hair than us?
6:45 Luke for nothing!
6:13 Everybody on the floor. Holla!
We clearly have a short set of attention spans because we stopped paying attention long ago to concentrate on Webmd's diagnosis or lack of. Maybe the second half will excite us?
Half Time
3rd Quarter
Nope, second half is just as boring, also, Webmd says that I'm going to die soon so we're shutting down early to watch our last game together. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll make it to Noche Latina to see Los Lakers! Es todo! We're predicting win. Maybe we'll re-watch the game on the DVR tomorrow and at least leave some final comments.
4th Quarter
Final Comments
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
KBB Day
That's right, it's Kobe Bryant blog day. We couldn't be more thrilled, we even had a bunch of witty stuff to type up... and then we ran out of time and the time change was still making us hate our lives so instead, we had a moment of silence to respect the day and just wanted to say:
Happy Kobe Bryant Blog Day!
Happy Kobe Bryant Blog Day!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Lakers vs. Mavericks
A word before the game:
National television. Delayed start of the game or simply missing the beginning? Time to start a new winning streak, and not let the announcers get on our nerves. Let's see if the Kidd is worth anything. Ready, set, go!
Tip Off
Bryant, Fisher, Gasol, Odom, Walton
Damn, we've missed those Sunday Night (afternoon?) Whites!
1st Quarter
10:53 Fisher still not hot.
9:53 STEAL!
9:39 How is that a jump ball? Pretty sure Luke had it on lockdown.
7:44 Lamar... It's a FREEthrow, take it!
If Luke can't take it away, Derek will. Good enough for us.
We're for Lakers all the way, but the Mavs would be wise to not foul Fish in the act of shooting, haven't the noticed he can't sink em?
3:49 Dresswatch: #4
1:53 That's what we need to see!!!
Standing ovation in the first quarter? This could be epic.
1:11 J. FARM! Remember how this is only his sophomore season? Is that real?
50.0 NBA refs, making games less enjoyable since 1983
29 -23 Lakers
2nd Quarter
11:22 We're gonna start issuing out fines for freethrows missed, since they obviously don't appreciate the meaning of the word free.
9:39 The rebound merry-go-round. Somebody stop this ride we wanna get off!!!
Rather surprising fact: Violet Palmer hasn't pissed us off yet.
7:21 Damn... get back on the court man. Vujacic for the make!
6:11 Looks like the throw it in and run out of bounds is gonna be his new shot.
Here's the problem with national TV... they have to keep talking about the same stuff that happened months ago...
5:23 Everybody is on their feet again. =)
4:22 DAMN! That was a straight shot to the eye! Flagrant!!
MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP
MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS
2:20 Is that the first one for Fisher in like 9738473908 games?
1:09 Luuuuuuuuuke
2.2 Is Kobe really working for the Technical foul limit?
"Come on muh'fuckah" <-- yeah, we heard you.
50-47 Lakers
Half Time
Maintain focus. This game is too close for the 3rd Quarter collapse gentlemen.
Kinda boring without Bill Walton in studio running his mouth. Get well Bill!
3rd Quarter
11:10 Violet Palmer is not VERY GOOD. Thanks.
Luke Walton lines up the nothing.
8:something White boy!!
6:06 Arena wide argument time.
ABC is doing an injury round up. What happened to That Guy? You know... the undisputed winner of the "Hey, there's that guy" award... Chris Mihm.
3:19 Okay, we're just as mad as Kobe at this point. Where's Violet Palmer with her world class officiating? Huh?
2:35 Emotions run high this afternoon. "Fuck that!" - L. Odom.
This ain't the NFL
Lamar is about to blow a fuse.
1:11 Kidd just got OWNED by Ronny.
6 of 22?
68-65
4th Quarter
Time to bring it home gents.
8:14 Oh shit! Jordan and Jason Terry... Jordan is okay thankfully, but we still hat to see other players get hurt.
7:58 Oh snap, look who's officially been voted out of his injury related slump.
There goes your boy! (Not lookin' too happy over there on the bench)
6:38 It's Kobe show time.
Holla Holla
6:08 Always count on Pau... always.
Crowd is at full throat, so are we.
4:13 J. Farm saves it and gives it Kobe, Kobe goes to WORK.
Too much action to type.
2:08 Bullshit
28.5 kdajfdkajkljelkjoi3987u3hfdkafuajfasfjoi
6.9 wHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
6.1 MVP
2.0 We're going to OT, believe it.
93?
OT1
Sasha!
Kobe!
Phil's out of his chair, let's get it done boys.
Another rebound merry-go-round.
Are they jersey-poppin' at each other on the freethrow setup? Haha, brilliant.
IF THEY JUST STAT CURSED HIM, WE ARE GOING TO KILL
He did NOT just miss that?
108-104
Final Comments
Hoooooly shit was that a game?
We're quite speechless right now. Who can we award for what?
Luke for being much improved but then it's canceled out by the foul out.
Everybody gets Player of the Night.
National television. Delayed start of the game or simply missing the beginning? Time to start a new winning streak, and not let the announcers get on our nerves. Let's see if the Kidd is worth anything. Ready, set, go!
Tip Off
Bryant, Fisher, Gasol, Odom, Walton
Damn, we've missed those Sunday Night (afternoon?) Whites!
1st Quarter
10:53 Fisher still not hot.
9:53 STEAL!
9:39 How is that a jump ball? Pretty sure Luke had it on lockdown.
7:44 Lamar... It's a FREEthrow, take it!
If Luke can't take it away, Derek will. Good enough for us.
We're for Lakers all the way, but the Mavs would be wise to not foul Fish in the act of shooting, haven't the noticed he can't sink em?
3:49 Dresswatch: #4
1:53 That's what we need to see!!!
Standing ovation in the first quarter? This could be epic.
1:11 J. FARM! Remember how this is only his sophomore season? Is that real?
50.0 NBA refs, making games less enjoyable since 1983
29 -23 Lakers
2nd Quarter
11:22 We're gonna start issuing out fines for freethrows missed, since they obviously don't appreciate the meaning of the word free.
9:39 The rebound merry-go-round. Somebody stop this ride we wanna get off!!!
Rather surprising fact: Violet Palmer hasn't pissed us off yet.
7:21 Damn... get back on the court man. Vujacic for the make!
6:11 Looks like the throw it in and run out of bounds is gonna be his new shot.
Here's the problem with national TV... they have to keep talking about the same stuff that happened months ago...
5:23 Everybody is on their feet again. =)
4:22 DAMN! That was a straight shot to the eye! Flagrant!!
MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP
MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS
2:20 Is that the first one for Fisher in like 9738473908 games?
1:09 Luuuuuuuuuke
2.2 Is Kobe really working for the Technical foul limit?
"Come on muh'fuckah" <-- yeah, we heard you.
50-47 Lakers
Half Time
Maintain focus. This game is too close for the 3rd Quarter collapse gentlemen.
Kinda boring without Bill Walton in studio running his mouth. Get well Bill!
3rd Quarter
11:10 Violet Palmer is not VERY GOOD. Thanks.
Luke Walton lines up the nothing.
8:something White boy!!
6:06 Arena wide argument time.
ABC is doing an injury round up. What happened to That Guy? You know... the undisputed winner of the "Hey, there's that guy" award... Chris Mihm.
3:19 Okay, we're just as mad as Kobe at this point. Where's Violet Palmer with her world class officiating? Huh?
2:35 Emotions run high this afternoon. "Fuck that!" - L. Odom.
This ain't the NFL
Lamar is about to blow a fuse.
1:11 Kidd just got OWNED by Ronny.
6 of 22?
68-65
4th Quarter
Time to bring it home gents.
8:14 Oh shit! Jordan and Jason Terry... Jordan is okay thankfully, but we still hat to see other players get hurt.
7:58 Oh snap, look who's officially been voted out of his injury related slump.
There goes your boy! (Not lookin' too happy over there on the bench)
6:38 It's Kobe show time.
Holla Holla
6:08 Always count on Pau... always.
Crowd is at full throat, so are we.
4:13 J. Farm saves it and gives it Kobe, Kobe goes to WORK.
Too much action to type.
2:08 Bullshit
28.5 kdajfdkajkljelkjoi3987u3hfdkafuajfasfjoi
6.9 wHAT IS GOING ON HERE?
6.1 MVP
2.0 We're going to OT, believe it.
93?
OT1
Sasha!
Kobe!
Phil's out of his chair, let's get it done boys.
Another rebound merry-go-round.
Are they jersey-poppin' at each other on the freethrow setup? Haha, brilliant.
IF THEY JUST STAT CURSED HIM, WE ARE GOING TO KILL
He did NOT just miss that?
108-104
Final Comments
Hoooooly shit was that a game?
We're quite speechless right now. Who can we award for what?
Luke for being much improved but then it's canceled out by the foul out.
Everybody gets Player of the Night.
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