Forum Blue & Championship Gold - our 2 favorite colors!

Not Really Saying...

2009-10-28T23:18:00.001-07:00

Look, we're not saying we believe the book Tim Donaghy can't get published, Blowing The Whistle. But we're not exactly saying we don't believe at least some of it either.

No, it's not like we've read it, just the excerpts on Deadspin but it looks like a good read for anyone into reading, after which the reader can make their own opinions. If it does manage to get published (how about a cult publication where only the quantity pre-ordered is printed?) we'll be buying a copy to go on the bookshelf next to Phil Jackson's books. It was suspenseful enough to make us want more. We'll keep you posted.

The New Hunt...

2009-10-27T15:25:00.000-07:00

... where we're the ones being hunted.

So many things to say about today, and yet, we really don't need to say anything at all. Instead, let us borrow from Kurt at Forumblueandgold.com, because he perfectly summarized it...

God, it is good to be hated again.

It’s an oddly comforting thing for Lakers fans when the entire world seems to be passionately wishing for your team to fail, hoping for an earthquake that will break off Los Angeles and dump it in the ocean so that they don’t have to hear about the Lakers again. When the Lakers are hated, you know they are good.

Let the games begin.

4 To Go

2009-06-04T09:39:00.000-07:00

Oh boy! Hold on to your hats ladies and gents, we're ready to rumble. Tonight is the night, the night where all of the "are the Lakers soft?", "where did the Magic come from?", "is Kobe better than LeBron?" of the media and the blogosphere comes to a halt. There can be no more talking, there can be no more speculation. Tonight we start the last leg of the race.

One thing is for sure, we're tired of hearing Kobe can't win without Shaq. Yeah yeah, Shaq won without Kobe, but he just replaced Kobe. And not he replaced Kobe, someone else replaced Kobe for him. So it's really not a matter of Kobe's no good without Shaq, it's a matter of, no one man can win the effing championship alone. Kinda like how Melo thinks no one man can guard him. But thats besides the point.

We don't have any witty insight to this series, it's pretty evenly matched in the point, counter-point areas. As cliched as this is, it's gonna come down to execution. Here's what we hope: We hope that the Lakeshow remembers what it felt like last June when they had to fly back to Los Angeles after game 6 and that that motivates them to EXECUTE.

We're not pointing any specific fingers at any specific team members, but as Nana likes to say, "If you think this is about you, there must be a reason you think that."

Lakers: Do Work.

About game 1

2009-05-19T16:57:00.000-07:00

Oh snap, look who rolled into town... okay, don't look, do whatever you want, but it's the Denver Nuggets!

They are favorites of ours for a couple of reasons, but the number one of those reasons is because we get to watch our dear dear friend Orangejello doing what he does best... sitting behind George Karl being orange. Hearts will fall this series.

Another of the favorites, and this is newly christened, the ineptitude of those who own both the Nuggets and the Pepsi Center. Sure you all know by now that they've overbooked the larger than life vending machine. But, here's the problem, the venue and the team are owned by the SAME PEOPLE. It's not like this is STAPLES where even though the communication between the team and the venue is stellar, there is the potential for an error like this. No no, the venue is owned by the same freakin' people who own the goddamn team. How does this happen? And whats to be done about it? Well, it's pretty cut and dry since the WWE has a contract written in ink, and the Nuggets do not, unless the WWE wants to roll over, the Nugs are gonna have to ask the NBA and ESPN to reschedule. But the NBA thinks they aren't gonna have to reschedule because they are GOD, and thats that. I vote for the increasing in popularity by the minute idea that we allow both events to take place simultaneously. To increase the awesome factor, they can let people with tickets to both in and everyone gets to lap sit with their new friends. Problem Solved!
Oh the hilarity that will ensue. In fact, we're looking for tickets on teh interwebz right now, anybody got any extras?

Anyhow, now that the Lakers are apparently the underdogs for this series let's see if they show up and prove everyone wrong and make a bunch of people look like assholes.

Who be ready to rumble??

Game 7 what????

2009-05-17T11:48:00.000-07:00

We refuse to accept a reality in which the Lakers do not play in the NBA finals against Cleveland or Boston, which means, hooray! We win the game today.

No really, there is no other possibility. There cannot be that much talent laying around going to waste, it's just impossible. Also, not that we're totally into things like this but... Lakeshow hasn't lost a Sunday Night White game all season long. Just sayin'! So we probably can't be held responsible to a blog during Game 7 while sitting on the edge of a seat and trying not to scream so loudly at every play that the neighbors get concerned for our safety. That leaves us with a few errant thoughts today:

~ The first being that, between Jeanie Vision and @JeanieBuss on twitter doesn't it feel like Jeanie and Phil are on a reality show about their power relationship? Wouldn't Phil Jackson make an awesome reality show subject? When is NBATV going to start it's reality series? And can we be a part of the show some how since we suggested it? Thanks in advance.

~ We made some comment at the first time out regarding how we've never been this excited at the beginning of a game since probably ever. And about how we're probably going to lose our voices and comment during every time out. And the crowd is at full throat at tip-off.

~ Then we made another comment at the 3:19 timeout (don't ask how we remember the time) that said: Defense is ON today! And by that we mean very few blown defensive assignments! Woo! We feel like LeBron in the chalk commercial. I NEED A BASKETBALL IN MY HANDS! WOOOO!

~ And then the computer crashed. Stupid PC. But believe there was some sort of genius in those first two comments that we really just can't remember at this moment.

~ During half time we have something to say:

Andrew is back. Jordan is back. Lakeshow is back. =)

~ Reports from the inside of the booing during the national anthem's "And the rocket's red glare" are simultaneously hilarious and scary.

~ Trevor and Jordan!!!! (approx 1:20 in 3rd Quarter)

SHANNOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Bangin' with Mbenga!

OH.MY.GOD.

Lakeshow: Doin' work!

Because the script is just as great without the movie

2009-05-14T14:01:00.000-07:00

LB: WOO! Post season Kobe Bryant! Get excited. Woo!

KB: Uh, LeBron... I am excited ok?

LB: Playoffs baby!

KB: I'm ready for the playoffs.

LB: Woo! Chosen One!

LB: Post. Season. Post seasoooon!

KB: Alright. Post season back atcha.

LB: Woo!

KB: Post season.

LB: Chosen One. Ohio baby! Woo! Akron Ohio baby!

Come on Kobe, let's go down the HIGHWAY!

KB: Ummm...

LB: Get excited! Let's do it! Woo! Twenty dollar Chinese food. Playoffs baby! Plaaaayoffs!

Make some noise. Woooo! Make some noise Kobe. Come on number twenty-fo'. Wooooo! Beef and broccoli.

Here we go! Game time Kobe. Wooo! Gaaaame Time!

Woo! I need a basketball in my hands. Woooo!

KB: Are we done yet?

LB: I'm just gettin' started baby! Yeah, woo! Come oooon! Come on! MVP! Hahahaaaaa.
Yeah... twenty three. Two three. Waaaaa!

Lakers vs Rockets - Game 4

2009-05-10T12:10:00.000-07:00

Clearly that nonsense with Game 1 was just part of the Lakers' ploy to add drama to an otherwise boring playoff run they're making. Because how else were they going to get game 5 so they can close out the series at home?

But first, notes from around the league:
The LeBron's: We're pretty happy for them that they aren't going to lose any games until the finals.
The rest in the East: We're not even watching because it's irrelevant and involves KG.
Denver/Dallas: Denver can't wait for their chance at payback for last year's broom incident with the Lakers. We can't wait either.

Now on this series:
So sad to see Yao go. Unlike the KG situation - KG deserves what he's getting because he's an asshat - where karma is a BITCH, Yao doesn't deserve this. Anyone who watched the game the other night could tell he wanted to keep playing and he was nothing but respectable to opponents on the court. Either way, it's time for the Lakers to strike and maim.
Also, so great to see D. Fish back! (but we'll miss him on Twitter)

1st Quarter
- At first it's hard to decide but upon close inspection there are a lot of empty seats in the house. Houston, get it together, this is the farthest your team has been in a long ass time. Even LA shows up at tip-off in the playoffs.

- ESPN and ESPN on ABC is bothersome. As far as national TV announcers go we'll take TNT all year 'round. There are only 2 half time shows we'l watch. Any involving Chuck Barkley and the one on FSN West when Rick Fox is there being ridiculous and non contributory.

- 17-4. We don't even want to comment on who has 17 points and who has 4 right now.

5:46 Finally a time out to stop the bleeding!

- Not that it matters much, but why does Fish have on a headband tonight?

- We would also like to know where the Lakers left their defense. Is it at the hotel? On the bus? In the locker room? Someone call the local PD and file a missing persons report.

- This just in from a friend in Anaheim, apparently there is a group of people cheering with abandon for the Rockets. They must be Clipper fans. Poor poor souls. And Kobe with a T. Shit.

That was the most depressing quarter of basketball we've ever spent time not paying attention to. AWFUL.

2nd Quarter
- "Luke Walton throws it to no one."

- We'll comment on this quarter when there's something worth commenting on. Thanks.

- Oh look, the misery is over. No comments. Let's just start a new game next quarter huh?

3rd Quarter
- This game is completely out of hand and utterly disheartening to watch. What else can we say?

- We're not ref hating - just like we weren't when Ron Ron got that "Flagrant 2" in game 3 - but the loose ball foul was uncalled for.

- 67-40 is it that the Lakers haven't had enough time to sight-see in Houston and need to come back for game 6?

- Ohmigod Lamar. Ouch! =(

- Having nothing to do with the play of D. Fish but maybe Jordan should have started again, that seemed to work last game.

- Shannon standing nervously on the sidelines. We like him. That is all.

- You have got to be kidding me.

4th Quarter
- So game 6 thoughts?

- Really quite sad.

- Not even their mothers are proud of today's effort.

That is all.

Woah! Lakers vs. Rocket Game 2

2009-05-06T22:32:00.001-07:00

Let's see if we got this straight:

2 ejections:
D. Fish - Flagrant 2 and automatic ejection
Ron Ron - 2 Techs for talking crazy

Flagrants:
Luuuuuuuke
LO7
KB24
Scola
Ron Ron

Ejections by own team:
Von Wafer

And 2 on the way home!

Yep, pretty much just another game officiated by Joey Crawford. Holler!

And p.s., we're not complaining about the officiating, we're just saying, it's hilarious that you can expect nonsense when certain refs are involved and it's highly entertaining.

Game 1 of 16

2009-04-19T20:25:00.000-07:00

Top 5 reasons you should have watched the game today OR Top 5 reasons you loved the game today:

5. Sunday Night Whites
4. Pau Gasol fouls out for the first time all year (talk about defense with a purpose)
3. Joey Crawford v. Jerry Sloan
2. Shannon Brown (have my babies please??)
1. Series lead 1-0 for the Lakeshow

1 (Lakers vs. Jazz)

2009-04-14T12:57:00.000-07:00

Oh snap! We're back. Well, we didn't technically go anywhere to begin with but whatever... we're back! Last game of the regular season. There are so many words we could say but we're just going to summarize it and say... LET'S DO THIS!

A word before the game
No words actually (these don't count) just this video link because it's brilliant. YOU'D BETTER CLICK ON THAT!

Starting Lineup
Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Trevor Ariza (a lot has changed since we last blogged), Andrew Bynum, Pau Gasol

1st Quarter
Andrew pretty much owns the tip. So amazing to see him back and to not be holding our breath watching him play against the Grizzlies.

10:24 Our official opinion is that Trevor belongs with the second unit but that doesn't stop him from looking pretty spinning around in traffic.

9:09 What exactly is Deron Williams' haircut? It's like the Dr. Spock for black men.

Jesus (probably literally), we're just realizing how old some of the head coaches in this league are.

8:40 Andrew blocks it and it gets footballed across the court. Gotta love watching Trev catch the ball and take a drink of water before making the basket and still wondering WHERE ARE THE JAZZ ON D?

7:20 Are we just going to watch turnovers for the rest of the game?

6:37 Yes apparently we are. Welcome back Andrew Bynum!

Admittedly we act out our own "where amazing happens" commercials daily. Because the NBA is ridiculous. Today it was the grocery store, where amazing happens.

5:07 You can't defend Kobe Bryant unless he lets you.

If the Jazz lose can we please get D.Will a haircut? Can we get him one if they win? If the Lakers have to play them in a best of 7, it's gonna be real hard to look at him like that.

4:39 Every time Fish lets his shot go, it is almost impossible to believe it's not going down. It always looks so good, but then...

4:10 Shannon Brown (aka FBD) is in!

Before anybody gets all crazy about FBD vs. D.Will... it can't be any worse than Jordan.

Wow, the Jazzercisers have had a rough year. :(

2:00 Is it just us or does Luke remind you of Linus? Kinda homeless looking, with a dirt cloud over his head. Only when he's in uniform though, it's kinda like "one of these things is not like the other". Luuuuuuuuuuuuuke.

1:01 Er'body is on the floor tonight, can we get a mop?

Is that a UTAH SUCKS chant?

0.32 Shannon!!!!!!!
Wow. The replay makes it look even better. Damn son!

27-25 The Dr. Spocks

2nd Quarter
Is there somebody out there who thinks the Burger King square butts commercial is a good idea? I mean, funny maybe, but good?

11:31 While they are discussing the disgusting state of Farmar's play (which isn't all that disgusting, but we'll get to that later) and on the subject of haircuts needed... Jordan???

10:38 Get a mop for Milsap.

Are Fesenko and Kirilenko related?

Somebody is gonna have to start shotgunning beers on turnovers from here on out. 1 2 3 NOT IT!

8:11 Kyle Korver is not pretty. No comment on his free throws.

Inquiring minds want to know, does Drew shave his legs?

7:32 Apparently we're gonna spend the whole night talking about Jordan, so now is probably as good a time as any - since he just threw away the ball - it seems like he just isn't really comfortable being told what to do.

5:55 If you think the people on the court are confused by what just happened here, how do you think we feel?

COMMERCIAL BREAK (does Turner really have that many bills to pay?)

Crowd Shot: Kareem!

3:28 TNT cameras just went into Blair Witch mode. Ouch.

2:57 Shannon Brown, more points than minutes. Just sayin'.

Linus Walton just forced someone to drink. Awesome pass! /sarcasm

Crowd Shot: Kupcake!

0.0 OOOOOOOOOOH, how long is a ball allowed to hang onto the rim without going in before it's considered a miss?

56-55 Lakeshow.

Halftime
Random thought about the fervor with which people discuss time clocks in the NBA. Are we being serious? Of course accuracy is good, but when people are spending hours debating the relevacy of 0.2 of a second you have to ask yourself... aren't we just talking about a basketball game? We're huge sports fans as well, but there's no need to name call.

3rd Quarter
Switch sides

10:42 AND FOR SOME REASON WE'RE STILL TALKING ABOUT KOBE BRYANT'S CELLPHONE GATE. GIVE IT A FUCKING REST PLZZZZZZ.

8:29 That's what we're talking about. See how brilliant Fish's shot looked right there? It could have just as easily been a complete miss.

7:31 Sausage party under the basket.

7:00 Well it's good to see that Drew hasn't lost his penchant for screaming profanities after every foul he gets.

5:48 Did Trevor just stand wide open in the corner for a good 20 seconds jumping up and down with his hands up while everyone else played with the ball? Yes. Yes he did.

5:12 OH SHIT Y'ALL. D.Will, Drew, Kobe - it'sa bout to be a slapfest. Or at least a T fest. Did Deron just poke the sleeping lion with a hard yet short stick?

3:36 Lamar came to play tonight!

2:19 Phil Jackson smiled =)

1:01 Shannon missed but we still love him. And then Andrew left nothing to chance with a slam!

24.4 Here is where Shannon makes up for it. Oh, it's good!!

0.8 ::shakes head:: Kobe gotta make that freethrow babe.

91-83 Lakers!

4th Quarter
11:48 Hey there's the old Jordan we knew and loved.

11:16 Pau just gave somebody (anybody, everybody) the "you can't fuck with this" look.

10:17 Might as well JUMP! Go ahead and JUMP!

Laker Ball

9:14 ON replay The Machine's catch and shoot is gorgeous looking.

8:36 Boozer for a nice block on Odom but J.Sloane has that look on his face like he can't fucking believe his life has come to this and how'd he get stuck with such tenure in fucking UTAH?

7:34 Bahahaha. Did they just call Craig Sager a vampire?

You know what's awesome... watching the last game of the seaon, going down on the homecourt, and having the whole team there to play it. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. And since we're not there to be emotional about it this year, we'll just imagine the team applauding the fans after the game is over with. And then piling into SUV's with tinted windows to head over to LO7's end of the season party with free champagne for everbody. Yep, we're pretending.

5:37 LO7 taking no prisoners. We likey.

2:00 Two minutes. Two minutes remain in your regular season ball games. Awwww.

And it's totally official. Lakers vs. Jazz Playoffs '09 Round 1. Who's bringing the clippers for D.Will?

125-112 making it 65-17. Collective YAY.

Final Comments
Kobe, Derek, and Trevor get 82 games trophies tonight!

Player of the Night: Shannon Brown - because we said so.

NOW ON TO THE PLAYOFFS!

Boredom is always the answer

2009-03-06T14:58:00.000-08:00

Why haven't we blogged in months?

Simply put, we're bored. Let's look at what's happened in the past few months:
- Andrew went down and the only drama involved in that is that it was a knee injury again, against Memphis again. We vote that he automatically becomes the inactive player on the roster for all future Memphis games. But in case you hadn't noticed, the team baaaaaarely misses him. Sure they could have a few more rebounds which would have helped in some of those close games, but it's not like they are struggling.

- Vladi got traded. And nobody is talking about it. Nuff said.

- Chris Mihm was dumped for essentially nothing. There was literally a point where we looked at each other and said, "Chrissy still plays on this team?". He was gone two days later. So, however you want to take that... take it.

- The boys own the Pacific Division, command the Western Conference and are thisclose to running off into the sunset with the regular season League Record. So, um, yawn.

- The Lakeshow brought their pimp hand down on the Celtics twice and backhanded the Cavs on their precious precious home court - and remain the only team in the league to have done so. What else is there to watch for?

- Jordan did something to his knee which we can't really recall because he rehabbed the shit out of it and magically just popped up on TV one afternoon and started running and jumping up and down the court like nothing had ever happened and had a look on his face that was kinda like "confused" as to why everyone was so shocked to see him. You were a month early hombre. That's why. Also, other than Derek Fisher having to shoot slightly more frequently, this bothered nobody.

- Kobe has a detached pinky, a dislocated finger, and some other crap on his shooting hand and he doesn't care, so why should we? Still the same old Kobe. Good times.

So, it's like no matter whats being thrown at them this season, it doesn't matter. They take a brief second to adjust and keep on rolling on. No drama, it's boring to be a fan. Which, is admittedly a FUCKING FANTASTIC problem to have. Mostly because it's also a thrill. You probably think we're being over confident but this is the downside to having depth. There is little to no evident struggle when something that is supposed to be upsetting happens.
At the beginning of the season we (amongst ourselves) gave the Lakers 15 losses. Right now they are sitting at 12. To us, it's really not about how they get those losses. They could lose to the Washington Wizards twice and the Clippers four times and it doesn't matter, cause that's taking a night off. We know it, they know it. It's not that they are not good enough or mentally tough enough to beat these teams, they are just taking a night off. We can hate them for doing it, or we can realize that as awesome as it is as a job, playing basketball is STILL a job for these guys. And just like when you find ways to turn your computer screen so that your chair blocks any and all views of your face while you do that afternoon doze-off at your desk, they fall asleep at the wheel sometimes. So go ahead and get your 15 losses and no more and we're good to go!

Boredom! So what if the Eastern Conference still needs to duke it out for an invite to the playoffs (except the Cavs). So what if the Western Conference needs to play a minimum of 8 games worth of catch up (Spurs we're talking to you) before we can get even the least bit of excitement brewing about the rest of the regular season. We may be overconfident - not likely - but, the Los Angeles Lakers have the Western Conference 1 seed on lock down. And at worst they have the 2 seed on lock down. So, we're bored and have no cure for the boredom. That is why there is nothing to read here. But thanks for asking.

Let's start the playoffs already!

(oh and for that "this does not a true basketball fan make" comment: we're still watching and keeping tabs, but it's nothing worth blogging about. so yes, it does a true basketball fan make. you were probably aiming at "this does not a true blogger make")

62 Lakers vs. Suns

2008-12-10T20:51:00.000-08:00

Oh, there are a plethora of reasons there was no blog last night. The first being that we're trying to be like Shaq and rest on the least important of the 2 games when there's a back to back. As such we fully napped through the first quarter. The second being that it was probably the most ridiculous game to have witnessed all season and we also turned it off at the 3 minute mark in the fourth because seriously??

A word before the game
Great Scott! Luke Walton is in the starting lineup for some unknown reason. Granted the Suns aren't playing anybody you're used to hearing about on their team, like you know, Shaq, or Raja or Boris, but still! Starting? I guess our vote of confidence for Mr. Money Shot the other night worked. Got it.

Starting Lineup
KB24, 0.4, Andrew Bynum, Pau Pow, The Best Player On The Team

1st Quarter
Mother of god, was that a blocked shot? Tonight is going to be a night of miracles. Mark those words.

11:04 Um, uh, Luke Walton on the assist to Bynum.

10:46 Apparently in Phoenix rookies aren't allowed to comb their hair pre-game. Or either Robin Lopez doesn't know how to comb his hair.

9:36 Kobe tries for 3, Luke tries for 3. Total, 0.

7:56 Phoenix plans to lose this game. That much is evident.

3:35 Pau goes to the bench and Lamar comes in. Are those long johns Lamar? For the record we know they're matching knee braces but.

3:02 LUKE WALTON ON THE BREAK AWAY.

2:37 In a sad turn of events Lamar goes on a fast break and well... misses it kinda like we've come to expect at this point.

Thank Christmas! Finally a sideline interview with a celebrity that a) we care about and 2) is relevant to basketball. Hello part-owner and ex-player Magic Johnson.

1:29 This is possibly the latest the second unit has come into the game in a while.

Ok, so, we're gonna go ahead and stop making fun of Walton, because maybe that Stacy was onto something. Maybe Luuuuuuuuuke is not that terrible of a player after all. And maybe it's a good sign that PB&J can take the player off the end of the bench and put him in the starting lineup just because and have him be productive. It's just like the old days huh Lukie? (But this puts a serious damper on our hate fest.)

29-25 Los Angeles, which is good because we dislike Phoenix

2nd Quarter
11:37 Jordan misses a 3 or whatever - we're a little down on his play lately, can you tell? - but Lamar rebounds it which is solid until Trevor misses possibly the one shot he was never meant to miss ever. Mmmkay.

9:31 Sasha seems to have come to the game awake, setting himself up basically for his favorite shot. But instead of camping he brought it all the way in passed it out and then ran to his mark. What a long haired beauty.

8:43 And again, Sasha with the assist this time.

8:18 Never shall we ever say anything about Jordan and his play again. Thank you for making a shot. ~~Probably his first this month~~ And getting the extra chance.

Why do Matt Barnes' tattoos look like they might be heavy. Like he has to put in extra work to lift his arms?

6:14 Machine will pump you up!

5:35 Pau makes another free throw and it counts for 2.

We still haven't seen Vladi. Looks like somebody put that baby in the corner.

3:08 Can somebody please tell Amare that the fro faux hawk is out.

To see or not to see Valkyrie. It looks good. It stars Tom Cruise. Read that: Pro, Con.

1:20 Probably only because we're spending time watching him like a hawk tonight but we just noticed that Luke raises his hand a lot on the court. Like "pick me, pick me, pick me!!!".

50.8 Probably only because we're spending time watching him like a hawk tonight but we just noticed that Luke wastes a lot of timeouts because as the best inbounds passer on the team he can't ever seem to inbound the ball. We cringe every time he does this, even if it is the end of the half and the timeout didn't matter anyway. Just sayin, because we're trying to retain some of the hate...

Every time we look at Steve Nash we can only see that bobblehead doll of his. So tragic.

53-48 The Sun continues to set, thank you

Halftime
Nothing here except to note that we hate Windows for always having some sort of malfunction and causing a restart and then sending that angry "your computer was shut down improperly" message. And, to state that one of us got an early tour of the Conga Room across the street from Staples and now we're both kind of jealous of everybody going to opening night tonight. But if you want to try to party with the Lakers we suggest starting there since it's across the street and stuff (oh and Trevor kinda owns it). Pro-ho tip of the week.

3rd Quarter
7:11 It's nice to watch everyone in Gold stand around and watch the Suns playing.

6:26 Ok, on first look Amare fell to the floor like a dumbass. Totally fake like he's auditioning for daytime soaps. But on second look, that for sure was Derek Fisher (president of the players association we feel like mentioning) straight up pushing him to the floor. Classic. Maybe it was just the way he fell down that made it fake looking?

5:whatever Oh snap! Luke Walton throws it down!!

Unfortunately we weren't paying attention to how it's down to a 1 point lead for the Purple and Gold. WTF?

2:28 Good grief. Our hearts can't take much more of this.

1:22 That's the kind of shit we're talking about! Trevor slams it home and then takes flight into the Laker Girls. Gets up, manages to catch up to the play but then gets slammed to the ground again on the other end. No whistles.

82-81 Uh, just barely though

4th Quarter
9:11 Get there Lamar!

7:19 Jordan gets the ball taken away from him. Expect him to do something ridiculous on the way back down the court.

5:26 It's so nice to see Kobe missing shot after shot after shot af...

4:58 Trevor puts the ball on top of the rim. Is there a column for "almost"?

3:58 Hot damn Andrew Bynum (needs a nickname)!

3:14 Not sure if we've seen Phil this upset all season.

1:36 Since the Tacos are obviously goners, we just want to state that the Lakeshow had better win this game tonight.

1:20 Nice save by Kobe too bad nobody wants to capitalize.

39.9 Machine camp. Machine shoot! It's money!!

29.3 Holy shit in a diaper this is Sasha's first trip to the charity stripe this year?

Jesus please make this game stop... we're gonna be here all night long =(

115-110 Lakers sometime past midnight or some such

Final Comments
Player of the Night: Luke Walton because we feel bad for making fun of him while he was at home and because he managed to not completely suck while kicking Vladi out of his job completely. Also because we may never have the opportunity to vote for him again this season. You never know with PB&J.

64 Lakers vs. Bucks

2008-12-07T20:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, we're fully admitting to watching the replay of this game on FSPT at midnight, the first time around the entire group of people watching the game together spent 3 quarters ripping on a certain player on the team who was at home with an illness (we're not even sure why we were making fun of him). We won't name any names, but suffice to say it was hilarious. So, we're watching the terribleness of this game again and letting you know about it.

A word before the game
Our favorite ex UCLA player who is really only our faves because his name is fun to say, Luc Richard Mbah a Moute, otherwise known as The Prince, is ready for action. The other Luke aka Mr. Money Shot is out with some respiratory issues. I told you everyone was rippin on him... we'd be failing you by not sharing at least some of it.

1st Quarter
Sun Yue in his uniform tonight, and had we not seen this game already we'd bet money on whether he'd see any PT tonight. And we'd have lost all of that money sadly.

11:04 Kobe always yells at his free throw balls to "get up!"

10:47 Sasha's been issued a gag order? We can only imagine why that headband is keeping his mouth shut tonight.

Since nobody is bothering to really score any points we thought it'd be a great time to point out how the Bucks have probably the nastiest looking uniforms in the league. Even in December they aren't fun to look at.

9:31 The first non free throw points of the game have finally been scored, elminating our thoughts of this being a basketless game.

8:36 Everyone does everything right with that steal and half court pass to the break away player. Everyone that is, except the break away player. Radman attempts to murder Malik Allen instead. Good times.

6:36 Richard is on his second foul. Lets keep an eye on this shall we? Especially since Milwaukee still only has 5 points.

You gotta love when the team forgets to inbound the ball. Do they not want the possession?

3:49 Derek Fisher manages to make a shot in the paint and as such, Coachy McCoacherson (Skiles) manages to take a T for his team. Just the game interruption everyone was hoping for huh?

Stu Lantz mentions Trevor being a crowd favorite. Everyone is a crowd favorite in Lakertown... well, unless your name is Smush or Kwame... but other than that!

23.0 Kobe ~~fucking around~~ gambling on the shot clockand ruining the entire posession.

24-16 Lakers in the boringest quarter this season

2nd Quarter
10:42 "Trevor Ariza blows the easy one." Understatement of the year.

10:30 Jordan takes the fast break but doesn't bother making sure it goes in. Mmmkay?

10:16 Jordan takes the fast break but doesn't bother making sure it goes in. The fuck Jordan?

9:51 Someone obviously put the floor together wrong at Staples, forcing Ariza to step out of bounds with the ball in his hands.

9:22 R. Jeff with his 3rd in 6 minutes of play. More good times.

9:12 Andrew Bynum just went for a swim. Even on the second viewing of this game we have no idea why he was on the floor like that.

8:11 There's Jordan Farmar again. Who put out his fire. Seriously? Is he sad that his best friend aka the best player on the Lakers this season is at home with an illness? Is that preventing him from performing? That's probably what's wrong with Richard Jefferson as well. $10 says the two of them are auditioning for each other as "Luke's best best friend". As far as we can tell neither of them are winning.

Oooh looky! Another celebrity interview we don't really care about. Couldn't they have at least gotten Matt Kemp a seat in the venue. He's sitting somewhere near a tunnel or some such. He's bff with Trevor in case you missed his entirely too long and irrelevant interview.

So one of the fun features of the replay on Prime Ticket is that the skip portions of the game - which is usually fine but we think they may have skipped something that was important but don't worry the score is still ridiculously low.

1:32 Radman tries to block a shot he knows he can't block. He doesn't block it for the record and he gives an And 1 to the Bucks just for shits and giggles.

43-31 Lakers in a slightly more entertaining quarter or something

Halftime
It's quite strange watching a game when you already know the outcome. What is the point of getting all worked up over it? Ok, not this game but we watched the Derek Fisher 0.4 game right before this and well... it was hard to breathe watching the 48433937928 time outs that were taken right before that shot was put up on accident by Derek who ran straight to the locker room. And whats the deal with running off the court when you make the Hail Mary shot anyway? And while we're 'what's the deal'ing... what's the deal with the Chinese having their last names first? We're talking to you Sun Yue and Yi Jianlin (sp?).

3rd Quarter
11:50 Kobe slams it home on the first play of the quarter. That'll wake the crowd up.

9:36 Can we please get Andrew Bogut a technical free throw so he can high five himself? That's pretty much the best video clip we've ever seen out of the NBA.

9:11 Richard Jefferson still sucking... don't worry.

8:39 Told ya... 4 fouls for The Jeff. That should keep him rested for his dedication ceremony tomorrow at Arizona. We're not real fans of the entire state of Arizona - though we're just noticing how much that's almost Ariza - sorry anyone in Arizona, except for the people who made us dislike it.

Knowing that in his post game interview Derek is more than a little bit excited about taking his wife out on a date; Does a player play better when he knows he's gettin' lucky later in the night? Derek J. Fisher has been on fire all night long.

Due to time constraints (lack of planning) we rejoin the game with 1:25 left in the 3rd. So again, we missed some of the great plays, if by great we mean terrible. And someone bleeding to death, but no matter how diligently he checked himself it wasn't Pau... So terrible was the play that the score at the end of the quarter looks like:

74-54 Still the Lakers probably because (as we were just shown) they have something like 20 more free throws than the Bucks

4th Quarter
Can they hold onto this lead? A good friend of mine (S) once said, "If my past is any sign of my future, you should be warned before I let you inside." So according to that the answer is probably and most likely no. Don't believe all the crap your friends tell you.

11:40 Trevor steals the ball but fails to do anything about it on the other end. And so it begins.

11:00 Trevor can't really deal with other people having the ball and just sticks his arm up and takes it for his own. Jordan goes chasing it down the court, which is odd because nobody else is even bothering with it. We vote that if nobody is going to care about the ball running away, it shouldn't matter if it goes out of bounds, just let the team with the steal have it. Oh yeah and then Andrew got some free throws out of all of that or whatever.

8:57 According to Stu Jordan just had a great change of direction. That direction change was: standing up - laying flat on his face. Nice.

8:53 Over and back! Good job Lakeshow.

Stu doesn't mind telling us that Mr. Jefferson has like 3 points. Remember that foul count is at 4 and minutes played is somewhere around 9. Remember when Richard Jefferson was somebody important in the game of basketb... okay perhaps "important" was going a bit far, lets say "relevant", or "contributory"? Yeah, one of those.

7:41 Josh Powell sighting!

7:15 And now Chrissie is up!

The consensus here is that The Five Million Dollar Gatorade Man is at home choking on his respiratory thinking about how he could have had some serious PT tonight.

6:00 Remarkably we're at the half way point of the quarter and the Lakers still have a sizeable lead. Say what?

Someone also pointed out that Kobe probably makes enough money to get his faded prison markings touched up. Probably, but who knows his finances, ink may not be in the budget at the moment.

5:14 OH SHIT Y'ALL! Sun Yue makes his NBA debut taking over for Jordy. Hold onto your panties ladies.

4:48 Sasha picks up a "pass" off of the floor and misses the wide open basket just for fun we guess.

4:33 Sun giving Fouly McFoulerson - Richard Jefferson - a run for his money with his second foul already.

4:01 And another! Damn, Jefferson can't even have the foul record from the game. What a waste.

Can we get a chant for 2 on the way home already?

3:02 Trevor gets a flagrant foul which is hilarious, just ask him. Though he did apologize so you know there's the softer side of basketball for you. We like it.

2:04 Sasha bricks another so that Sun can give it a try and he repeats that sentiment so that Josh Powell can finally throw it in although we're pretty sure that Aleksander guy from Milwaukee is the one who actually threw it down. Shhhhhh.

1:35 Yue makes those first points of his career here which brings the crowd to full throat where they stay until he makes 2 more points a few seconds later. Get some!

29.4 Chris Mihm stuffs it in because who knows when he'll have that chance again. And with that the game is over with.

Boston sucks and all that

105-92 Lakeshow baby

Final Comments
Somewhere in there we missed the Purple and Golds getting not 1 but 2 delay of game violations, and you know what that means... in this game it actually meant nothing but a minor annoyance at having to watch the Bucks shoot an extra free throw, but seriously? If this were a serious game it'd mean giving away yet another point for failing to get your act together. Seriously.

Player of the Night: Sun Yue for being hella productive in just 5 minutes. Not that we really believe his numbers would duplicate if his minutes did but it's nice to pretend isn't it?

Assist of the Night: Luke Walton aka Mr. Money Shot, aka The Best Player on the Team, aka The $5 Million Dollar Gatorade Man for assisting Sun Yue in getting some PT.

Worst Outfits Ever: Laker Girls in the final quarter. Whatever those weird Grease-esque shorts with the glitter belts and the "nude" tights - even though some of us obviously think we're African-American - are supposed to look like, we're pretty sure it didn't translate from paper correctly. Lets stop giving the Laker Girls new outfits and feed the homeless or something?

66 Lakers vs. 76ers

2008-12-03T15:57:00.000-08:00

We have a good feeling that last night was just what the doctor ordered. But what is a Sixer? We can devise that a Laker is one who is of or works with the Lake, but how do we classify a Sixer or a Seventy-Sixer?

A word before the game
Not a lot to say about this game. The Lakers know what they need to do to get the win. It's not so much that they lost last night (it was gonna happen eventually) but it's how they lost - by refusing to play defense - and who they lost to. Yeah, the Pacers dropped the Celtics this year as well, but um, they're still not very good. Right.

1st Quarter
9:47 Last night taught us little to nothing apparently since protecting the paint doesn't seem to be a priority tonight. Maybe it's not?

5:17 Samuel Dalembert
nothing about him we just like his name.

4:38 Radman's got a hot hand tonight. Let's keep that note handy.

3:45 Welcome Trevor Ariza - it's magic time.

3:06 The first play of his time on the court Trevor takes the ball from the 6ers, unfortunately Pau et al blow the layup at the other end. But it leaves us wondering, do people not read the book on Ariza before he shows up or is he just that good at taking the ball when he wants it?

Uh oh, Lakers Locker, same as yesterday 31 20 5

During a story about Radman's eye we are treated to images of Sasha fixing his hair, where's Sally Hershberger when you need her?

1:37 The extra pass always works. Always. Especially if it's from a turnover created by The Trev.

3.9 Pau waited patiently and nonchalantly swatted the ball away. It was so lazy it was fun to watch.

31-25 Lakers

2nd Quarter
10:14 We vote if you get a 3 second call on you because your teammate (we're talking to you Lamar Odom) is too much of a pansy to shoot the ball and pretends to but then passes instead... you should be allowed to smack them in the face at the next time out.

8:49 Jordan Farmar came to play. That's good.

Just as a note, that commercial where everyone is eating imaginary food. IT'S GETTING REALLY OLD CARLS JR!

6:39 Who said Andrew Bynum couldn't run? Or fly? Or dunk?

6:23 Its weird hearing Elton Brand's name in this game.

Speaking of Elton Brand, he took off on a fast break all alone except for Bynum was on his tail. He purposefully slows down waiting for the foul to come and give him a 3 pointer. Near hysteria erupted here when Andrew completely stopped and Elton was confused. Hysterical.

4:51 Did we just see a 3rd consecutive turn over for the Lakers? For reals?

The Forum Blue unis make Pau Gasol look like Powder.

And if Stu Lantz says the word "dividends" one more time... we're muting him.

39.0 Thank god people are making their free throws tonight! Was that so much to ask?

61-51 Lakers still

Halftime
We booked S a ticket to Indiana (her future home). It's now official!

3rd Quarter
9:30 We just rejoined the game and see everyone on the floor. No clue why, but it's funny.

7:20 The Sixers are in this game, because the Lakers, typically, don't know how to hold on to a lead or anything like that.

4:40 Out of the clusterfuck Andrew ends up with the free throws, Pau checks for blood, Stu states the obvious.

Wow, sometimes it's really difficult to pay attention to the games. It's unexplainable but this entire quarter just slipped away from us.
*Correction, apparently it's not unexplainable... twitter is to blame.

2:00 Kobe chases down the ball, picks it up, studies the hoop, remembers that he forgot to turn off the coffee pot in his hotel room, bites off a hangnail, surveys the crowd then shoots the ball. Nobody felt like coming down to defend that either.

85-69 Lakers

4th Quarter
Trevor Ariza just might be our newest Personal Jesus... maybe.

8:40 Are you serious with that call? No, it's not serious. Losing control of the ball while jumping into someone who is standing still cannot possibly constitute a foul in your favor. What are we watching Pop Warner?

7:45 There's Trevor on the floor after offense. What is this phenomenon?

5:01 Get up Derek Fisher! =(

3:39 Fish tries to take us all to school but then misses the shot. That's not how its supposed to work.

2:34 Kobe always makes the circus shots, the impossible shots, it's the easy ones he misses, so lets stop marveling at this nonsense?

This one is in the bag. Everyone already knew that the Lakers were fired up from their disaster last night and weren't going to let this one slip away right? Lets stick around for the final score...

112-102 or is it 114-102? We're apparently not too sure.

Final Comments
We knew this was going to go down this way. No sense pretending we didn't. Kobe's at "home", and he's finally not getting 100% boos from the crowd, which is why he gets to be
Player of the Night... he's been pretty spectacular, we gotta admit.

67 Lakers vs Pacers

2008-12-02T20:12:00.000-08:00

K is missing in action. Actually she's um, well... it's a secret. S has the flu, but... since she'll be moving to the midwestern fright better known as Indiana, this is a great opportunity to size up the new team people expect her to like (hint: shes loyal to the Lakeshow)

A word before the game
It's a little strange watching at 4 pm. Don't get me wrong, it's much better than the stupid tape delay nonsense but it's still weird. Also in the weird/fun category is how KCAL's feed is static-y. It's not just here either, I checked with the neighbor. Good times. Here goes the first of the "first extended roadtrip". These people should really try touring with musicians before they start talking about extended roadtrips. Make it or break it Lakers, make it or break it.

1st Quarter
Stu wants the Lakers to do body shots. I can get behind that.

9:15 Yet another whistle (whistle-palooza?) and we get another stand around and look moment on the court which allows us at home to see just how many empty seats there are at the Fieldhouse. Wtf Indiana... way to show up for your team.

Troy Murphy looks like he might be in his mid 40's. Which is different from Oden looking like he's in his mid 80's, just to be clear.

Is Lil Brother Rush going to a House Party tonight or whats the deal with his haircut?

4:09 Andrew misses the slam dunk sent over from one Mr. Kobe Bryant, which is kind of like the most embarrassing thing to miss.

2:53 Derek Fisher's on the floor. ::shock, awe::

Lakers Locker Time 31 20 5

1:32 Note to Trevor Ariza, walking with the ball is still illegal in the NBA. I know I know... it's just not right... or something.

Sasha might comb his hair to prevent being confused with a mad bomber or similar.

30-28 Lakers

2nd Quarter
11:15 Note to Trevor Ariza, walking with the ball is still illeg... waaaaaait a minute!

8:11 Machine camp, Machine shoot.

5:37 Fisher remains standing, insert real shock and awe.

3:46 Lamar catches a "how in the hell?" pass throws it down then on his next trip down the court off of his own steal, gets 2 free ones. Someones making a case for player of the night aren't they?

Apparently tonight is the Kobe Bryant show. Can we expect another one of his famous "Reach and I'll Teach" seminars?

66-61 Lakers

Halftime = Naptime
I don't know if you know how difficult it is to fight off NyQuil induced sleep.

3rd Quarter
9:15 The trick to blocking a shot is to get the rebound afterward. But I guess letting the other team get it back and then sending them to the charity stripe is sufficient as well.

7:05 Radman gets the look of death from all of his "buddies" on the bench after passing to, I guess, Kobe who was running away from him. Expect Sasha to leave his bodywash in the shower again.

4:09 Trevor finally wakes up and does what he does best, it might be time...

3:14 When are the refs gonna start calling fouls on the rim for moving after Derek Fisher releases his shot? And after Andrew releases his free throws?

2:07 Trevor steals the ball twice in the same possession. Know ye this... he won't be denied the fast break. Granger grabs his leg like it's leftover turkey and throws him to the ground anyway, but impales himself into the stanchion and hurts his baby back.

1:27 Just so everyone knows how that steal away fast break was supposed to go down, Trevor gives us another look at it. Avoiding a murder 1 charge Danny G doesn't run after him.

17.3 Andrew Bynum makes freethrows.

101-86 Lakers on a 17-0 run

4th Quarter
11:37 Jordan treats Indiana to a little Duncan Face.

11:03 Machine camp, Machine shoot.

I just thought about this, but it seems like for the first time this season, Jordan's having a terrible game - well, you know, aside from that one game he had the flu because it was his birthday party after the game. Yeah, aside from that.

8:45 PB&J put the starters back in because the mobsters couldn't handle the lead. The Kobester always wanting to fit in turns it over himself. And then again. Hot stuff!

Wow, if anything more could go in the Pacers favor here it would.

6:08 Pau's been learning that pump fake from Kobe.

5:03 The camera doesn't show it but I'm more than certain that Trevor sat down after that (non) basket.

There's really no need for rebounds, seriously, who needs them? Not the Lakers apparently.

12.8 Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Kobe misses that one shot he absolutely cannot afford to miss and lets the Pacers take the end of the game.

Sometimes it just takes a few drinks to fall in love.

118-117 Um...

Final Comments
Well if that wasn't the game nobody expected them to lose. However, I said this early in the game... this is the game that they needed to lose so they could learn not to fuck around during the first half of the game. Just plain awful. The Pacers aren't even any good. Why don't we let the Clippers or the Thunder come and spank on us?

And by the way, is "lackadaisical" the only word that can be used to describe the ridiculous play in every basketball game in America? Though I am considered by many to be a wordsmith, I don't think I've ever heard anyone use this word in a sentence until I started listening to post game interviews.

Player of the night: Trevor Ariza for his steals that were so awesome.

Ouch!

68 Lakers vs. Raptors

2008-11-30T17:37:00.000-08:00

This promises to be a sparse blog, but stay tuned afterwards for some small recapitulations on the Sunday Night Classics game - oh yes, it's that 81 point game. Oh, and did we mention that Ulrich Fox is back. Gosh, how we missed him in studio . Also we may or may not be accurate with our game count in the titles, but we're not counting today... maybe next week?

A word before the game
Still at home? Yep, still at home.
But here are Foxy's 8 stages of the season:
Preparation
Formation
Stabilization
Elevation
Laker Nation
Hibernation

Ok, that looks like only about 6 stages, maybe we missed something? Thats quite the possibility as we gobble up the last of the leftovers before the game starts.

1st Quarter
~ After a totally botched foul gets called on Andrew, he applauds C. Bosh's miss with fervor.

~ Derek Fisher continues to prove he couldn't complete a lay up if you paid him millions of dollars... but then he goes and swishes those pretty pretty ones from the corners and whatever and you have to question your sexuality or is it sanity (?) as to whether or not being mad at him is ok.

~ Jordan Farmar looks older today! Rick wasn't invited to his birthday party, for the record.

~ Hot damn! Lamar footballs it down the court to Ariza who could either slam it home himself and probably kill someone in the process or pass it. Because passing is more fun than murder, he drops it off to Pau for a monster dunk. The crowd goes wild!

~ Sasha tries to pass because he liked the way it made Trevor and Lamar look. We're given an inside look at why he never passes the ball. Machine needs to camp and shoot. The end.

34-29 Lakers of course

2nd Quarter
~ We're suddenly wondering if Sasha is sponsored by Goody or Caboodles. Where does he get so many different and intriguing headbands?

~ Lets play a game called "Always give it to Trevor if there's no time left on the shot clock", because that seems fair.

~ How come Trevor never checks his entire body for blood every time he gets tapped by any other player, like Pau does? Though if we're being honest, Trevor's "tap" was more like a body slam.

~ Holy mother of all things Jesus-y (aka Mary) nearly 5 minutes left in the half and Luke Walton's up off the bench. This sucks for Toronto because they are playing the end of the bench and they actually have to play still. Well... kinda.

~ Rebound, football to Kobe, dunk - how many times can we run this play before the Raptors try to stop it?
2
*We should give Walton a round of applause because he's being productive tonight, especially on one of these plays.

Halftime
Lets go eat the last slices of cake. No live ball thingy tonight, because we're lazy.
Coaches Interview: No idea... you'll see why in a second.

3rd Quarter
~ You know how sometimes Grandpa gets his hands on the remote and destroys your surround sound/DVR/high tech setup with the stroke of an Alzheimer's button? That's what happened to us midway through the half time show and for the first 6 something minutes of the 3rd. We missed how Derek Fisher got a tech, which was apparently a double t with Senor Calderon.

~ Kobe: Not so good as the Quarter Back.

~ Trevor finds yet another way to fall to the ground in an offensive set.

90-81 Lakers

4th Quarter
~ Jordan has aged so much that he can no longer complete a behind the back pass.

~ If we could play 20 questions with Mr. Parker, we'd have 19 to spare, we only want to know how it feels to be referred to as Candace Parker's brother.

~ Would we say having Andrew Bynum crash down on you because you were busy pretending like you were going to be able to block his shot is equal to or greater than being hit by a mack truck?

~ Another football for a pass and then dunk. Andrew - L07 - Trevor. Sweet.

~ Mbenga! Powell! Walton! Watch out now.

~ Mbenga gets a block, Walton gets a basket, Powell gets a basket. Successful night all around.

The only thing left to debate is 2 on the way home...

~ Sasha wins the award for keeping the ball on the right side of the court despite a bounce pass that came dangerously close to the line.

DAMN! Just barely, but the crowd gets it. That's a win for everyone except the Raptors.

112-99

Final Comments
14-1 There isn't much to say about that other then "damn". FSN thinks this was a November to Remember. We agree.
Player of the Night: Tough call but we're going with Kobe Bryant for not making this night all about himself. He could have very well gone for that record we won't mention by name, and nobody could have stopped him. But he didn't, he played team ball instead.

Now lets get it on with 81 points!

69 Lakers vs. Mavericks

2008-11-28T15:05:00.000-08:00

We're going to attempt to blog this, but lets be honest, this is post-turkey coma territory. There is a small chance we won't even wake up later on. Damn, nap time is down to a mere 4 hours and 7 minutes.... be back soon!

A word before the game
Oh man this is going to either be A-OK without Andrew, painful to watch with Andrew or totally awful without Andrew. This game should be a good test as Dallas is a worthy opponent (as worthy as worthy comes these days). We're trying really hard to stay awake and may end up scrapping this entire blog later on if we can't. Btw, our halftime coaches interview guessing game is still undefeated. Oh and yep... we're still at home.

Starting Lineup
Assuming Andrew doesn't play tonight we bet on:
Kobe-Kob, D. Fish, Pau Pow, Radman, LO7

1st Quarter
But Andrew ends up in the starting lineup anyway... and also Radman has his goggles on still! Let's do this y'all.

10:48 Andrew doesn't seem to be having too much trouble so far.

8:27 What hurt foot? Andrew drops it IN!

3:56 Kobe shoots, Kobe misses, Kobe misses badly.

3:15 Derek Fisher remains standing on what would normally be a D.Fish sit down play. He enjoys sitting after shots or continuous defense - watch.

Ooooh, remember when Kobe wore tights with his uniform?

UCLA TIME

30-27 Lakers on a last second drop in from Pau!

2nd Quarter
Wow, we've made it all this way without one of those famous Steve Javie calls? That's kinda sad actually.

9:03 The whole throwing the ball off of a defender to have them "kick" it out of bounds is lame, but if it works it works?

8:17 No, no, and no again.

"The quickie with Jason Kidd" bahahaha, yes, yes we're twelve.

Wow this is a relatively boring game. Even Javie hasn't helped that.

2:56 Really? Did we really just run after the ball the whole way across the court?

33.1 We just noticed that Mbenga dressed over Mihm... interesting.

22.0 For real Radman? For real??

47-52

Halftime
Basically all that the live ball thingy showed us is that Lamar is sucky tonight. Which, actually we could have told you just from looking at the +/- chart. -13 for LO7. All of his shots came from the same place and they were no good... lets think about that shall we?
And while we do that, lets also think about our turnovers. Hmmmmm?

Coaches Interview:
Jim Cleammons (correct)

3rd Quarter
11:42 Kobe finally drops one. He may have made one before that but it sure seems like he hasn't dropped a shot in about a week.

10:03 Wow... another turnover.

Sidenote: we're just as sleepy/exhausted as they Lakers look like they are.

6:49 Trevor Ariza! You like that? We like it.

We're kinda diggin' the Sunday night lineup on FSN West, hour long pregame, game, after show, classics re-aired. Keep it up.

4:47 There goes Derek with his signature move we all wish he would stop doing. Yet again, Trevor cleans it up. He's the janitor of this team.

1:11 LO7 to Pau who throws it in so sweetly for the tied score that the light turned off.

37.9 Fish knows he can't make layups, but we tip it, tip it, tip it and score!

80-78 Lakers

4th Quarter
Looks like we might have a game worth watching now...

11:26 Oh Andrew *tisk tisk*
Note to self for future NBA career - no pull ups on the rim after dunks.

Things are starting to get exciting up in here!

9:33 Act like you got some sense. Jordan Farmar baby!

8:54 Where Derek Fisher falls to the ground on every defensive play, Ariza falls to the floor on every layup made. Lets play a game called "stay standing".

We'd just like to say that Lakers have begun lighting the dark on fire... let's hear it for the boys!

TECH! (it wasn't even from Javie)

1:58 Bye bye to those tacos.

34.3 Can we see that shot of Kobe walking by the Dallas bench shaking his finger again PLEEEEEASE???? Good times.

6.5 That's our Kobe!

114-107 Lakers for dat ass (sorry we had to, it was a dare)

Final Comments
It was a little touch and go in the beginning. If by touch and go we mean boring as hell. But as always, the Lakeshow hit it in the end. Hit it, don't quit it. Over and done.

Player of the Night:Trevor Ariza, the janitor - people need to be scared of him. For sure.

70 Lakers vs. Nets

2008-11-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

No blog tonight because we just don't have the time. But a few things we thought were worth mentioning.

- Yes, the Lakers are still at home.

- The GPK got some good playing minutes tonight.

- Andrew needs to chill on his Duncan Face antics.

- Luke Walton got a new tattoo - why?

- Free tacos shall now only be referred to as "2 on the way home".

- UCLA continues to excite everyone (we got people watchin tonight who've never seen the Lakers play, impossible we know, but they like it).

- Our halftime coaches interview guessing game is still perfect on the season!

- The starters with matching iced knees on the bench is cute.

- WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF RICK FOX IN THE STUDIO WITH BILLY MAC AND NORM NIXON? WHAT? SOMEONE... ANYONE...
(Update: Rick Fox getting pwned by Derek Fisher ~~during~~ as a post game interview pretty much makes it quite alright that Rick Fox is the most ridiculous addition to the show.)

120-93 (Good holy Jesus) Lakers

Happy Thanksgiving Laker fans!

71 Lakers vs. Kings

2008-11-23T15:52:00.000-08:00

At least we think that's who they're playing tonight. It's so hard to keep track of the poor - mediocre teams these days. Why doesn't Dr. Buss buy his own broadcasting station and just make it all Lakers all the time? No seriously. Include it in the basic cable package or you know what, even better, make it a yearly subscription channel. I'd pay for it. Even if the games were being broadcast for free on KCAL or FSN. Think about it...
People around the country (except for in Boston where people are foolish) love the Lakers, and would pay for this channel. If he ran Lakers programming all day he'd get the people of southern California on board. Especially those in San Diego! Such programs could include:

El Segundo: The Practice Files

Laker Girls (a reality show obvi)
Courtside Connection - because screw having it on the website, lets have Jeanie read her blogs outloud t us, and perhaps a text to vote on that daily trivia.

Classic Moments - replay the best games ever.

Lakers Beach House - just have random players/execs/dancers stop by the beach house and do whatever all of the time.

And then there should totally be a fan show. This came to us in a dream, but how ridiculous would it be if every home game there was a fan (voted on somehow) who hosted a show where they showed up at STAPLES for pregame shoot around and had a camera and a mic and just walked around, interview players, shoot around, look at the pregame dinner, whatever. Of course they'd watch the game and that could be part of it if they want, and then after the game more of the same... interviews in the locker room, post game meal, whatever. And by "ridiculous" we totally mean awesome! Air it the day after the game or something.

Just a thought.

A word before the game
We got carried away with the Lakers TV thing but we're bored so sue us. Tonight we promise to pay attention to the game and try to provide some of the original comedy we used to provide. Honestly, it's a little hard when they're doing so well, but focus we must. No promises on how that's going to turn out though. Oh and as for the Kings... well, this should be one of those no brainer easy wins. Like, you know the Clippers. So we'll see if the Lakers are still on that course of destruction they've been on all season or if they have fallen into Lakers of Yore thinking and assume they're going to win and are going to try to mail it in. Post man don't run on Sunday's y'all.
P.S. What's with people who write "y'all" as "ya'll". Um, no.

1st Quarter
OMG Vladi's goggles = teh awesome!

11:15 Uh oh, Fish got off to an actual start by making the basket. It could be a loooong night for Sactown.

9:25 Andrew follows up his miss/fumble/nonsense by not making the next basket either

Spencer Hawes just got 16 1/2'd. That's a sandwich between Pau and Andrew.

Oh snap, someone's bleeding and Pau didn't even check his face first.

7:07 The towel boy over there with the Kings looks like Josh Powell.

4:30 Perhaps Radman should have put those damn goggles on earlier this season.

This just in, Colts and Bolts are tied.

Kobe almost dropped it in backwards on the pass from I can't really make many baskets Derek Fisher.

1:17 No need to make free throws tonight Trevor, don't even worry about it.

48.7 Did Trevor go to Kwame Brown's all star ball handling class yesterday for extra tips?

0.1 Even though he looked mildly retarded doing it, Sasha's end of the quarter PUJIT was a nice knife in the heart for Sacramento.

32-27 Lakers

2nd Quarter
Internet outage and we come back to a tied game and then the Kings are up?

9:47 Sasha does a fantastic job throwing away the steal because dribbling first might upset his shot.

Blogger.com gets a FAIL in life. We type this up on a blogger page because it's easier for both of us to comment that way - and we transfer it later - too bad it gives an error tonight everytime we update to let us know that it can't actually update.

6:20 UCLA finally awake.

5:12 Andrew also went to that ball handling class with Trevor.

4:51 Yep, we just got the roll sheet from Kwame himself, Andrew wad definitely there.

Derek Fisher takes soooooo long getting across the half court line. He's aware that he only has 8 seconds right?

3:24 Brad Miller nearly murders Trevor who doesn't sell his pain like Sasha would and lets him get away with a regular foul.

19.5 Kareem digs for gold on television.

61-52 Lakeshow

Halftime
Question: What is the point of Rick Fox in studio? Don't get us wrong. We think it's hilarious because all they ever do is make fun of him for this or for that and talk about his personal life. And tonight its all about Doug Christie vs. Rick Fox. But seriously, what was the point of putting him up there with Billy Mac and Stormin Norman?

Findings from the live ball thingy (we swear we're making a name for that thing because it's apparently called Courtside Live and thats boring).
Derek Fisher is terrible and nobody notices and it seems nobody cares. He might be good on any other team, but this is Los Angeles, you come to play or you go to the Clippers. 1 for 4 with 3 fouls is not, as they say, good.

Lamar has all of his points from the EXACT same spot on the floor. Consistency.

3rd Quarter
Side note: We've begun taking bets on which assistant coach is going to give the post-halftime interview, perfect record so far. Perhaps we'll start adding that to the Halftime chat.

10:11 We're completely convinced that the Lakers take a group nap during halftime (every game) and don't wake up with enough time to not be groggy for the 3rd.

7:38 He packed his bags for that trip. Why is Theus arguing about this with the ref?

For some reason we just relived the scene from Knocked Up where they try to go to the club but the bouncer won't let them in because she's pregnant and the other one is "old as fuck".

4:05 We wonder who greases Fisher's head before the game.

Wish they'd show us more of the game in the smallest corner possible on the screen while we watch other random things on the screen. Yeah!

1:02 Kobe has that look on his face. That "oh hell no, not tonight" look.

0.0 How come Luke doesn't have the Gatorade ready?

96-80 Kobe

4th Quarter
10:54 Defense obviously isn't a big deal tonight. Lets just let the Kings have every basket they want.

10:11 Andrew might as well gift wrap those balls for them.

8:49 Sasha falls down. Shock. Awe.

6:45 Lamar fouls because he's embarrassed and then tries to argue it. Hmmm, is that the new defense?

Sasha just gave away the entire game. Awful.

6:04 Lamar goes to work instantly.

4:48 At least Kobe got the foul. More than we can say for Fisher who missed the shot (s).

4:05 Fighting for rebounds. Our favorite. Not sarcasm.

3:05 Trevor pulls out his latest pony trick. It's like gymnastics up in there.

1:34 Apparently nobody knows what the score is, so lets stand around and have an extended time out just for fun.

1:20 Its like people don't read the book on Trevor. If you let him, he will steal your ball. Passing. Dribbling. Shooting. He's stealing it. He wants it. "...the ball just calls my name."

118-108 Los Angeles

Final Comments
Holler!

Ok it was sloppy. Real sloppy. There's going to be a lot to work on at practice tomorrow. A LOT. Did anyone else see that the Timberwolves STOMPED on the Pistons. Who even plays for the TWolves? Consensus: Nobody.

Player of the Night - Trevor Ariza like woah!

72 Lakers vs. Nuggets

2008-11-21T19:01:00.000-08:00

Can we all stop yakking about how the Lakers' schedule is light? It'll even up later in the year which is when it matters anyway. Let's see how the back to back treats them again, last time fared pretty well. It's a Friday night and we're getting ready to go out and celebrate so commentary might be light, sporadic, or ridiculous. Wait... it's always ridiculous.

A word before the game
We've figured out what to stick into the half time comments section - we're going to go play with the live ball thingy (what the hell is that called) and find either the best or the worst player out there, depending on our collective moods. Anyway, this game should be exciting because, even though this not the first time we've seen the Nuggs, this is a new Nuggets team. We only wish that Son-of-George was here still =(

Ooooh, live blog over at ForumBlueAndGold.com (go there) we might be really really distracted tonight!

1st Quarter
10:47 Nene? More like Nono!

9:46 Ok, Derek Fisher might redeem himself from last nights nonsensical bullshit shooting.

6:47 Lets try a newfangled concept called "hanging onto the ball".

Kobe misses the dunk again, that's why we talked about two hands. TWO HANDS.

41.5 Oooooooh what??? Mmmm, Kobes to Trevor instead of a jumper. Tonight's gonna be delicious.

35-20 Homeboys

2nd Quarter
10:45 Wow! That might have been a tragedy, Jordan missing the dunk and all but good lordy Andrew found his way back on the break and finished it up.

10:20 Hot damn! Jordan fucking Farmar!

9:40 UCLA is on fire tonight! It's purr-ty.

8:56 Goodness gracious great balls of fire the Nuggets can't even take our turnovers out of our paint.

8:25 Comment of the night "... goes to Sasha, too close for him obviously because that was a great look" Thanks for pointing out that Sasha's almost no good when it's not a 3 pointer Joel.

6:20 It only took like 6 tries before we could figure out that it wasn't going in.

4:53 Kobe? Short? That's ok, he'll just rebound it himself and run it in to the hole.

Holy crap, when did Josh Powell get into the game? Who even cares he just blocked the shit out of that shot and sent us right back up the court.

3:27 Wow, the Nuggets just had the best play of their entire game, block on Farmlife and a behind the back to someone for an actual basket!

2:34 Why don't the Nuggets just get Kobe's autograph and get on the plane?

1:58 No seriously, he'll sign it for you if you ask nicely.

Why does Derek Fisher always look like he has no idea what's going on or where he even is whenever the whistle gets blown and he has the ball?

67-47 Is it even fair anymore at this point?

Halftime
Typically we'd be playing with the live ball thingy (if by typically we mean we meant to start today) but today we're going to catch up on the live blog over on ForumBlueAndGold.com. good times! See ya in a bit.

3rd Quarter
Hmm, 3rd q not off to a great start but there's D.Fish not knowing what the heck is going on again.

6:47 Uuuuuuuh, guys? Radman?

Ok good Chrissy's gonna keep him company on the bench. In other news, Mbenga looks Mbored in his nice suit.

5:28 Ooooooooooooh! That would have been good! But nice effort Fish and Trevor.
Dante Jones did not get the charge however, so get up offa the floor.

3:25 Did they take naps at halftime? Is that why they were so sluggish? No matter, we're back in the game now.

2:50 Good lord! It's a jump ball. (Have we seen more of these this season than last?)

Can we just call in the Garbage Pail Kids and watch the 4th quarter be an actual game instead of the Lakers having an Atlanta college based stomp show with the Denver Nuggets as a floor.

88-67

4th Quarter
10:42 Great turn over Sasha.

8:34 Did we pick Trevor for the most steals tonight or Jordan?

7:30 Pretty close to most of the quarter, here comes the GPK!

Here's why we love to hate on Luke. He had the ball - and while we get that he's praised for his passing ability this is where it hinders the team - he passes, gets it back, passes with the shot clock coming down forcing Jordan to take an ill advised shot which gets blocked and then Trevor has to try to recover the ball/possession and gets a foul. He just needs to be a little more... selective (?) when making the passing vs. shooting decision.

5:35 What in gods good name is Coach Karl wearing?

We just LOL'd so hard at Jordan's Next Gig! Love it!
"I'm a little one huh?"

5:19 Is everyone cheering for Luke's time out because he couldn't get the ball in bounds? Confused.

4:45 Holla atcha boy Jordan Farmar.

4:11 Trevor just kinda nonchalantly throws it up at the buzzer and it's freakin GOOD!

Time out city! Stu probably has a fence to paint or something y'all. Knock it off.

2 minutes. 2 minutes remain in this ball game. WE WANT TACOS!

104-90 Yummy

Final Comments
Yo. This game was gold. Did anybody even remember that it was the second of a back to back? Nope. We forgot Kobe was in the building during the 4th quarter, in fact, watching him give the after game interview without a single drop of sweat on his face is kinda awesome.

Player of the Night - Hmmm, good question, we're gonna go with Jordan and Trevor. UCLA!

We're staying by the TV late to watch Jordan playing around in Hollywood. It looks hysterical, like he's the guy you want to spend all day with doing silly shit. More proof? Find him sitting on the scorers table during the useless timeout Walton had to call, while everyone else does stuff to stay warm or whatever. Brilliant.

73 Lakers @ Suns

2008-11-20T16:51:00.000-08:00

Last game was pretty entertaining, with FSN Prime Ticket's court side view. Though we missed the spat between Sasha Fierce and The Trevmeister, it was pretty amusing watching everything from a different view and not having to listen announcers. Good times.

A word before the game
Nobody wants to talk about Shaq-Kobe fueds from years ago which didn't matter anyway because they were winning. TNT tonight which means missing the first part of the game without apology from the broadcasters. Lame. But, as much as we hate national announcers, the halftime and pregame shows are kinda more fun on TNT - but not ESPN. Hate for ESPN. Off topic here, so anyway... lets see if everyone can keep their emotions in check tonight hmmm? Oh and don't we get to see one of the Lopez's? We can't be bothered to figure out which one plays Western Conf and which plays Eastern Conf.

We tuned in early, watching chicken being waved in front of Charles' face is hilarious. Almost as hilarious as watching the replay of that one game Shaq-fu and Drew-Drew played against each other. Kobe to the rescue!

1st Quarter
ZOUNDS! TNT somehow managed to pull off airing the opening tip. Excuse us while we dislodge the chicken bone stuck in our throats.

11:11 Already off to a good start with a steal and some free's for Kobe.

9:26 Wow, Andrew is getting worked already tonight, Shaq, Amare...

8:53 The bench finally sits down. When did it become the custom to stand until the first basket instead of the first point? Let me (S) just say this.. when a mo'fo pays good money to be sitting real close to the action, they don't typically mean the action of watching ass cheeks until someone can drop the ball through the hoop. SIT DOWN.

7:24 How many can Derek miss in a row from the same spot on the floor?

6:28 Oh snap, did Radman just show up to the 2008-09 season?

We really hope that everytime the announcers mention Shaq they can find a way to say that he used to play for the Lakers. Really, it makes it more enjoyable.

1:43 Woah, when'd we get this far into the quarter? At least Derek Fisher's not out there with his stellar offense anymore.

31.3 What is Matt Barnes' haircut?

7.9 Ooooooh LA! Trevor needs an inspirational motto like "Making cool shit happen!".

26-24 Los Angeles

2nd Quarter
There's an entire marching band on the floor during the quarter break?? Even if one of us (not saying which) hadn't been in marching band/drum corps for 8 collective years we'd be able to find the hilarity in a marching band not marching anywhere during their performance.

10:01 Watching Sashs whine about his so totally obvious fouls never gets old. Never.

9:02 Trevor has little to no regard for his own body where fetching the ball is concerned.

8:50 UC!!!! That also never gets old either.

Wait! Grant Hill is still alive??

OMG Lamar roadkill, handsome (we think that was Delaney), he should wear a mic every night.

7:05 The general consensus in this room is that Grant Hill should probably be playing in the senior league with the Spurs.

Pau, why homeless?

1:28 I mean are those Derek's first points?

50-44 Lllllllllakers! (And you just know G Hill is upset that he didn't get a foul on that last play.)

Halftime
Lets watch more chicken eating with Ernie, Kenny and Charles. No sarcasm here, we really thought that was hilarious. As for the Lakers, they need to remember the triangle, if it's a matter of shape recognition I'll gladly draw it for them but triangle that was not. Doesn't matter if they're winning or not.

Ok, we're playing with the live ball thingy on NBA.com and looking at just D. Fish is depressing. Especially when you follow this play in the 1st...
7:54 Miss from the paint, which lets the Suns take it back down the court then...
7:29 He gives it a go from just inside the 3 point line and misses
7:25 Someone (foolishly) throws it back out to him and he takes a few steps back to the 3 point range and misses.

If that shit didn't go down from inside the paint, what makes you think it's gonna be all magically in love with you from further away. I don't care if he is 3 point specialist (as seems to be the general belief - even though Helen Keller could tell you he's not) that's just unbelievable for a veteran on a triangle team. Stop it.

3rd Quarter
Holy space balls - either the line at McDonalds is really long or there's absolutely nobody in that building. What the...

10:53 While we're counting on just a few hands how many people are in the stands, Kobe Bryant is having his way with the Suns.

10:29 Derek Fisher just got a foul for assfacing Amare S. on a loose ball. Is this where we insert the "tell me how my ass tastes" joke?

9:02 No clue where we were when Drew got his first 3 fouls but he's now on his 4th. Shaq is one big hunk of um, person so that's hardly surprising. Hmmm.

8:27 Lamar basically mows Stoudamire down and out of bounds.

Meanwhile, Mr. Rambis is looking rather young these days. Younger than he looked during his infamous clothesline incident.

Wow. Shaq's foul on Stuckey (the one that got him ejected this season) was violent looking. He was doing the worm on the ground after Shaqdaddy tapped him.

7:04 Bahahaah, how did Barnes just topple over during freethrow shooting? Are you serious with that? He also got a lane violation for that because standing up right is kind of a requirement of basketball, they should check for that during those mandatory physicals they take.

Is it just us or could Steve Nash and Kobe Bryant be stand ins for Beavis and Butthead?

3:55 Looks like they found the triangle, must have been left in the locker room. Fire the equipment manager immediately!

We forgot what time it was but Amare missed a reverse layup our grandmama's could have made in their sleep.

The commercial for "Sonic Unleashed" (as if Sonic needed to be unleashed, he's a freakin hedgehog, wth?) mentioned that Sonic hits the streets. For whatever reason - probably because we watch it almost daily - this reminds us of "The Breakup" when Jennifer Aniston is asking Vince Vaughn to help her with the dishes and he says,"I'm just gonna run the streets for a bi...GET SOME GET SOME!" and the camera pans to show him playing GTA. Hysterical.

3.6 Odom cuts, Odom scores!!

80-67 Funny how when you play basketball intelligently you have a good lead.

4th Quarter
10:25 Farmar is so fun to watch. We're not really sure why because he's not doing anything particularly amazing tonight.

9:40 We are sure why Trevor is fun to watch. Spinning dunks are fun.

8:33 Lamar is hot like fire. And thank god they managed that chest bump at the time out without anyone falling over. Let's watch Kobe smack Lamar upside the head to congratulate him!

8:02 Perhaps we were a little hard on G. Hill, but seriously, though. We didn't watch basketball back in the day and we remember his name from that long ago. How is he still relevant?

6:46 Jordan (based on this 3 pointer and then the ensuing trip down the court for the Suns) has some serious hops. We need to take more yoga classes.

5:45 Uhhhhhh, Lamar's still on the floor y'all?

5:25 Ok, this is the best part of the game as far as we're concerned. Trevor and I think Diaw have a jump ball... Trevor is "over-anxious" as they say and has to be told multiple times to step back before the ball gets tossed. He loses the tip but whoever grabbed it wasn't very smart because Machine just walks up, snatches it and saunters back to the 3 point line and sloshes it in. Just like that.

Hey! There's a Lopez! Um, on the bench.

Garbage Pail Kids!!!! Man, Luke Walton might make something out of this season afterall. Lol.

3:04 Uh oh. Time out. That doesn't bode well for the GPK. If they get benched we're taking shots. But it was quite nice to see Chrissy up stretching his legs.

Uh, is 12 points a blow out? Anyway we're taking bets on Walton's stat line. My money is on 0-for-all.

Oh shit! Color my wallet empty. Walton got some out there.

105-92 Still no road losses.

Final Comments
No real comments because well, the Lakers took care of business. And with that 9-1 record we're happy. Even if Derek Fisher is ridiculous and Luke Walton makes $4,900,000 more than we do for 376% less effort than we put in daily.
Player of the night goes to Trevor Ariza for continuing to dominate shit all over the court and making it fancy while he's at it.

75 Lakers vs. Pistons

2008-11-18T18:31:00.000-08:00

Not only are they beating people, they are dominating people. Let's see if that continues as they face their first Eastern Conference challengers.

A word before the game
This is being typed up in Word and transferred to the internet later. The phone company gets a big fat FAIL for forgetting how to conduct internet service. Upsetting at best. ESPN is no TNT, Heather Cox is a mess and if we have to have national broadcasts, Charles Barkley is preferred. Thanks. Also, Kwame Brown is starting tonight...

1st Quarter
11:15 Kwame gets booed. Where have we seen this before?

9:14 Wow, the P's are off to a good start tonight. This is no time to worry though Laker fans.

Is it okay that every time we see Rasheed we yell out "Neeeeeed for Sheeeeed" because we really want to hear him say something ridiculous like he's so famous for.

7:22 Someone (and by someone we mean no one) dropps AI to the floor and scoots with the ball back down to the other end.

Good lawd, there's an absolute mess going on under the Lakers hoop, not even sure what to call it right now. Just a mess.

6:03 What is the point of rebounding if you're not going to make any shots. Nobody ever looked at the box score and said "wow, those rebounding numbers warrant a win!".

4:47 Kwame lost some weight, that probably won't hlep his stone hands though.

4:12 Ko-be Bryant from Pau Gasol! That's what its supposed to look like out there.

Louisville - totally not pronounced how you think it is.

30.6 UCLA has been in for a while and we haven't seen anything too spectacular.

23-16 Pistons

2nd Quarter
10:57 Allen Iverson flops his way to a Jordan Farmar foul.

10:17 But UC comes back with quite the pass to LA.
And while we're talking about UCLA.. hi Arron! The call him alphabet soup.

7:57 OMGJORDAN!

For the record, Farmar is not equal to Farmer.

6:47 The game finally picks up and by the way LO7 looks good tonight.

6:17 Point made!

5:46 Uh, Pau? Is there something you want to tell us. Or else you can just get off of that guy's butthole.

4:16 Who's basket was that? Pretty sure everyone slammed it home simultaneously.

3:13 With no internet available we're left wondering who the officials are and why they're so foul happy tonight.

That clip of Yao falling down in slow motion never gets old. They really should release a DVD of the besk basketbrawls of the season. We'd pay good money to see those in slow-mo and from all angles.

53-44 Pistons

Halftime
Well, it hasn't been a first half of amazingness, but there hasn't been too much amazingness this season for the Lakers even though they keep winning. Let us see if they come back in the second half playing defense and acting like they know that the ball is supposed to go into the rim and come out of the bottom end. I mean, or not, whichever.

3rd Quarter
11:36 Andrew Bynum with the put back...

11:14 Andrew Bynum wit the block - thats how you start a half.

10:45 Letting Kwame dunk on us is not how you want to start a half.

8:22 Here's an alarming trend: D.Fish likes to spend the first half laying bricks. At least he picks it up in the second half but STILL!

Are the red headbands a requirement for the Pistons? What if you don't want to wear one?

2:54 Now would be the time the Lakers need to make that "oh shit, we're behind" run.

Ok, one quarter left. Time to do big things.

77-62 still the Pistons

4th Quarter
"How mortal does your team look tonight?"
What kind of idiotic questions are these side court interviews with the coaches? Really? Why don't we ask which shoe each player ties up first?

9:46 It's always nice to see someone make up for their mistakes on the next trip down the court.

Who wants to go to All-Star in Phoenix? Nobody? Because Phoenix is an awful place? Got it!

8:03 Oh my god they're gonna lose :(

7:37 Oh great... now we got yellows taking down yellows. Tonight ain't our night. Everybody tie those shoes.

Ok! Warren Sapp of Dancing With The Stars Fame. Who makes this shit up? Pretty sure Warren Sapp is the loudmouth from the NFL. Celeb watch at STAPLES is so boring.

4:31 With that Fisher miss and LO foul, we're officially too sad to comment anymore on this crapfest of a game. We might have some comments tomorrow. This wasn't even a good loss.

3:44 Oh wait, snap! Kobe seems to finally be upset about something or other. Block that shit Kobe!

1:08 Oh cute... KB passed GP in all time scoring.

58.8 Pau Gasol should be shot. Missing freethrows is the most asinine thing about this game. How can that happen?

106-95

76 Lakers @ Hornets

2008-11-12T16:35:00.000-08:00

Oh boy! Every game someone says it, but this is honestly the first real test of the Lakers depth. Can they be the catalyst necessary for the second night of a back to back on the road? Only 4 quarters will tell, but we bet all our chips on yes.

A word before the game
It really has been Trevor Ariza kicking everyone's asses this season so far. He's young and spry. We like him. The recipe this season has been to come out of the gate and let the other team get their confidence up (pretty sure the Mavs thought they had the game last night), then when they think they know the Lakers, the second unit comes in and it's like they walked into another game somehow. Run 'em, gun 'em. Oh snap! Just when they get worn down from the second unit, the first unit comes in in full on attack mode! Bam! Just like that the game is out of control. Lost!

Starting Lineup
Not looking to change. We'll let you know if and when it does. Or really, if and when we think it will. Yes Trevor has made his case for deserving to be in the starting lineup, but in case you missed it, that'd only inhibit his skills. There is no shame in coming off of the bench in L.A. - uhhhh, unless it's with the stepsister team.

Also, not having a tape delay is 100% amazing, yet totally confusing. It's odd watching the game this early.

1st Quarter
Ok, one thing we didn't mention last night (we saw it, but we left it out for various reasons) was after Trevor's monster slam home and the ensuing party during the time out, Machine tried to chest bump with him and got knocked to the ground. We love him because he's on our team but we also love his floppiness and wanted to point out that it's obviously just something he can't control. Touch him and he'll fall to the ground. Anyway, they just replayed it (on purpose?) during the intros and S choked on her cupcake. Home made. Red Velvet.

12:00 Bahahahaha, they can't get the lights to come on in the arena. There are talks of having the game start in the relative dark. It doesn't get much better than this. Congratulations New Orleans Arena that apparently doesn't even have a name other than that, I don't know we just googled it.

3 jump balls to begin the game. Jesus.

10:55 Is it really necessary for Pau to touch Kobe's butt? We understand the significance of being a homeboy but it just seems unnecessary most of the time. Like did he mean "good game"? It's only been a minute.

9:30 We voted and we agree we really like the Hornets' warm up unis.

9:17 Kobe wishes he was Peter Pan... wishes he were Peter Pan? Not sure but he went pointlessly flying across the court in front of the shooter. Touched nothing.

8:27 The refs are getting booed already.

6:02 Derek Fisher looks like he might have gotten lit on fire sometime between last night and tonight. Maybe they just had a good old fashioned southern dinner before this game. Mmmm, etouffee - we're making that the next time they play there. ::checks schedule:: Dec 23 - potluck!

5:34 Did Andrew just have 2 blocks on consecutive chance agains? Just asking because we were checking the schedule and making an eVite.

We're just informed that during the commercial Posey (in his warmups still) "escorted" Fish to the bench? and the refs issued a double T. I wouldn't pay that shit if I were D. Fish.

3:36 Tec-fest!

2:34 Oh snap! The refs have laid the smack down on the players. In other words they instructed them to shut the hell up with all of the whining and just play the goddamn game.

2:04 Jordan does a damn good job working two Hornets on the far side of the court and then Kobe gets a steal but Pau does a counter-active job by grabbing a defensive 3 over in the paint. He whines his way back to the bench.

47.6 Oh no... they done gone and did it now. Someone let Trevor wake up with that most of the court pass from LO after a steal.

0.2 Jordan takes it all the way to the end before making his signature "buzzer beater" shot. We've missed that in the offseason, welcome back.

30 -17 Lakers

2nd Quarter
Stuff is going on but we can't see it because someone is standing in front of the TV because it's apparently not rude where they're from.

9:37 Andrew takes some prisoners on his way to the rim after that steal by Jordan. Delicious.

7:48 Kobe Bryant what was that?

5:30ish Coming back from the commercial break they give James Posey a hamburger head. You just can't write stuff like this.

4:20 Tec! Ball don't lie though. The league is getting paid off of this game, is the economy so bad that we have to hand out T's for everything?

Now seems like as good a time as any to point out how making the center of the fleur de lis the body of the hornet bug is not cute, it's ridiculous.

27.1 We love how Derek Fisher's shots arc to the ceiling before coming down to the rim, eliminating most of the chance it being blocked.

A lot - 30 Lakers

Halftime
We're off to make more icing for the cupcakes.

3rd Quarter
Damn that frosting was time consuming. But it's good so it was worth missing the entire quarter. We watched from the kitchen. A few turnovers, a few 3's from Derek Fisher. A few... oh wait, a lot of points still for the Lakers and a few still for the Hornets. Let's rock and roll.

4th Quarter
11:16 Jordan looks good every time he takes off with the ball. Even when it doesn't go in. We can't say the same for his frees.

10:20 Score update since we haven't posted it in a while: 73-56 Lakeshow. Oops.

News from around the 'net is that when the Lakers mopped the floor at this very same arena with actual players from the Hornets team last year, it was the biggest loss they've ever had since moving to that building. Shall we give them an encore?

7:45 In a rare occurrence Trevor gets blocked by the rim. We'll let that slide seeing as how he's been pretty amazing all season.

6:35 Those Hornets are generous. They give balls to whomever asks for them.

5:56 Andrew drops it in as nonchalantly as possible.

4:21 Lets say we let Posey drops 3's on us and then turn around and miss our opportunity to match or semi-match and then foul on the next trip down for the Hornets... where does that put us?

3:54 In a position where, instead of throwing the Garbage Pail Kids out there, we have to take the best 5 off the bench and run it to the end. That's where.

2:41 We smell some home cookin... ok, maybe not after seeing the replay. Fine!

It looks so painful watching PB&J walk =(

3:16 Making the easy shots would be helpful, defending the easy shots on the other end would also be helpful.

2:10 Pau was wide open on the last shot but didn't bother putting it in.

While getting the results in the races Kobe snks a 3 at the buzzer.

54.6 OH GOOD LORD. Pau from Kobe but Peja Stojodkfdjalkjfd smacks him in the face and he hits the deck hard.

We can't talk about how the lead is down to like 5 or something. Nope, can't.

37.8 Derek making one of those Farmar steals to try to swing Mr. Mo back down the court.

It still feels a bit early to start celebrating.

93-86 Laaaaaaaaaakers

Final Comments
The Lakers like to toy with our emotions. Build the lead - lose the lead - steal the lead back. Whatever, be still my heart. Sometimes it's like a Maroon 5 song in here "it's getting harder and harder to breathe".

Player of the Night - Kobe Bryant for hitting the dagger shot at the shot clock buzzer. Struck through the hearts of every fan in Nola. Oh my nola. And Derek Fisher for finding his shot on the second of a back to back roadie.

7-0!!!!!

Oooooooooh snaaaaaaaaaap, the Hawks lost tonight. Lakers remain the only undefeated team in the league. ::party dance::

77 Lakers @ Mavs

2008-11-11T17:28:00.000-08:00

Thank you to all of the veterans who have made it possible for us to be ridiculous on the internet night after night!
Ok, we had Sunday night off. Actually, S was at a 13 year old's birthday party of extravagance (don't get me started on the diamond Rolex she got from her dad, or the limo, or the "night club" for kids) and K was... well, K had other stuff to do, let's leave it at that mmkay? But we did see the game and that's what counts right?

A word before the game
The first roadtrip of the season. The Mavs have that hit or miss style where you never know whats going to show up on the floor, so this may or may not be a real test for the Lakers, only a quarter will tell. We also are holding our breath one game at a time for the first ever undefeated season in the league. Look... we know that's longer than a long shot, but it's fun to pretend like this team can get it done, so you shush!

Starting Lineup
Same as always

Oh wow, we just laughed so hard we snorted at the F150 commercial, "So, you're driving up to the lake one weekend when a big boat pulls up next to you and you notice hey... it's yours!"
1st Quarter
Luke Walton makes sure he gets camera time by standing in front of the Phil Jackson camera shot during introductions. Which brings me (S) to a funny from this weekend. When I walked into a family dinner my uncle said (and rightfully so), "I haven't seen you in a long time... in fact, last time I saw you Luke Walton was playing for the Lakers."

11:51 Radman hits the sit down shot!

8:57 Hmmm, lets all fumble the ball or something. As long as they make the shot in the end.

Mark Cuban is such a fan girl.

6:01 Derek was posted like his address was over there yet they called it a blocking foul? We're not starting the "refs are ridic" argument, but... wth?

5:27 "NO WAY!" Andrew needs to calm down. That was a nonsense call but... oh good, PB&J gave him a sit down card.

3:06 Ok, seriously question here, can we give Dallas a delay of game for this nonsensical personel swithout mix up?

So it's safe to say that this Mavs team came to play. It's also safe to say that it hardly makes anyone nervous to have the Lakers down since they've shown it only takes them a quarter of play to demolish a team.

3.5 LA!!!!!! We always bet on Trevor for the most steals.

26-35 Cubans

2nd Quarter
The shot of the floor mop guy hauling ass off of the floor is hysterical for some reason.

9:08 Trevor nearly always falls down on his tough shots, or is that just us?

8:55 Sasha? Hustleman?

4:15 Apparently the Lakers don't need to play defense tonight. That's fine I guess.

Why would Dirk wear a yellow tooth guard? We're not even going to point out the obvious here.

1:50 Derek doesn't mind passing behind his back when he has no idea who's behind him.

We're hungry, pardon the rest of the half while we go get some foods... but before we go, Pau better make his freethrow for the And 1 or else! (he made it)

30.2 Liars! Both us and the refs - nobody pushed homes out of bounds, just sayin... ok, off to find food for real this time, promise!

Halftime
Food. Good.

3rd Quarter
8:09 I really hate when someone throws a ball off of someone elses body.

6:42 Why doesn't Luke cut his hair? Is that really his look?

5:10 Does rebounding work the same in Texas as it does in California?

Hmmm, this must be the point where the reality ceiling falls down on our heads... ouch!

38.7 Ladies and gentlemen, Jordan Farmar

76-79 Mavs hanging on.

4th Quarter
10:14 "How fast they can strike." - Stu Lantz.

10:06 Trevor is the fuckin hustleman, from the fif flo. Poked the ball, chased the ball, faked the ball, dunked the ball.

8:45 Kobe kame to play for keeps.

8:13 Pow!

6:08 You don't know nothin' about this!

5:00 Why are we giving J. Kidd frees?

4:46 Good lord, how can Trevor Ariza not be more popular than he is? The guy is an animal. A stealthy animal. A ninja.

3:20 Stackhouse? More like Flophouse.

2:14 Holy crap... my heart can't take this.

23.1 Hit the road Dirk, and don't you come back no more no more no more no more.

106 - 99 Holy shit.

Final Comments
Good lordy, 6-0. There are no words. It's too much to reflect on. But there are some alarming tendencies we'll talk about tomorrow when we have a lot more time to talk about it.

Player of the Night - Trevor m'fin' Ariza takes it away from Jordan. He completely owned the court. Dunk, slash, pass, block, jump.

79 (Lakers vs. Clippers)

2008-11-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

What is being called (for the Clips) The Nightmare at Staples part deux is set to tip off tonight. No since beating a dead horse with a large stick or anything but, here's hoping this one is not as boring as the first one.

A word before the game
Barack's the president (elect, although not officially yet), we're jealous of the first daughters like you wouldn't believe, Andrew's shoulder is just fine, and it's another of the best of the best of L.A. only this time the home crowd will be cheering for the real home team. Oooooh who are we kidding? We're so obsessed with the new presidency that we can't even control oursleves and doubt we have much to say about basketball, but here's hoping. Happy almost birthday Lamar!

Starting Lineup
Kobes, Drew, Fish, Pau, Vlad

1st Quarter
Andrew takes the tip easily - get used to hearing that one this season.

11:21 Kobe starts the game off right!

9:58 You don't take rebounds from Andrew, ever.

9:34 Drew might make himself our hero tonight, keep an eye out.

Can we give Dunleavy a T and move on with the game already?

It's kinda amazing how changing the color of the floor makes it look like a totally different arena (vs. when it was Clippers home floor).

3:04 Okay, I'll totally admit that we're job hunting in Washington D.C. right now, whats say we just meet back here after halftime?

2:42 Wow Vlad, wow... thank god Fish was on it!

1:52 Pau with the turn over =(

1:27 UCLA!

Awwww, Kobe tells Trevor to relax at the line. So adorable!

52.5 "HEY HEY HEY HEY". Uh, guys... Jordan can't inbound the ball if you're all on the other side of the court.

29-27 Clippers?

2nd Quarter
10:09 Ooooooh snap! Can we have a replay on that? So much going on, people on the floor, Trevor slammin it home, what?

Oh yay! Another pointless celebrity audience interview... bahahahahhahaha - Cole Hamels' voice is awful, I can't even breathe, he sounds like he has a gerbil stuck in his throat that mated with a frog... let's talk about nothing important at all while the game is going on and we'd rather be watching that, sounds good!

7:42 Cole's still rambling on... but why don't they give the big men more room to sit down on the bench? They couldn't find larger chairs?

6:06 Omg Sahsa's headband is out of control right now, he needs to keep a hair dresser on the bench with him... we hear Luke is looking for a job.

Kobe's baby white shoes, never seen the light of pavement. Are those indoor shoes only?

5:13 LA! (That's Trevor if you've not been paying attention)

4:45 Someone just made a comment about how they obviously trust Ariza, yeah I'll say just blindly throwing something up and expecting Trev is going to be there to dump it is is trust.

Might as well JUMP! Go ahead and JUMP!

Ooooookay, what is the deal with the NBA election results? Is this supposed to be hilarious.

51-47 Clippers still

Halftime
Reeeeeeeeegroup!

3rd Quarter
Okay, I think we've gotten our job hunting out of our system. Lets focus on the game...

10:51 He was a baller, a shot staller, we call Andreeeeeew.

10:24 Ooooooh snap yo! Derek and Kaman are "having words". Why did Bynum get a T? What are we missing here? Jeeeeesus, he got T'd for coming to the aide of a teammate. Loves it!

9:53 Radman lets the entirety of the Clipper floor run passed him before he sends the ball up to the rim.

Can we stop referring to a player's lenght as some living thing? Please?

7:57 Holla!

6:32 This ain't gymnasties Derek, but nice hustle.

Drew's kinda secretly on fire tonight.

3:28 Even though they're winning right now the Clippers don't look very good out there.

2:22 Vlad you can't sit on the Clippers bench.

I just remembered this from the first half but at one point Lamar was doing some reindeer type of run where he was "running" but taking stunted steps. What the heck?

Uh, not sure what the score was but I'm pretty sure we were leading! Finally!!

4th Quarter
9:49 Farmlife!

Woah, where'd Walton go? Haha, that's like Where's Waldo. I smell a new game developing. Details later... but he was in the game for a sec right?

9:19 Lamar gets the calm down stick. CALM DOWN!

8:19 Guys, we can't let the Clippers win this ok? I don't care if they have a better team than they've ever had, it's still embarassing.

Oh crap we forgot to set our picks for the Lakers Fantasy Game =(

6:38 Irrelevant but Jordan is bright red right now.

6:12 Oh snap, just when we thought we were going to be giving the POTN award to someone else J missed his shot, picks up his own rebound and goes and drops it in. Hmmm, might he be campaigning for a streak?

5:45 It's a litte late to be showing up, but I guess it's better late than never?

4:20 That's fuckin' teamwork!

3:13 OH! LO!

2 minutes. 2 minutes remain in this ball game. But what he really meant was 2 minutes. 2 minutes before the Clippers can go home with another loss.

Oh hey Luke.

41.1 Wow is it empty up in there!

So Lakeshow wins it again. 4-0 Let's see what the scores gonna be...

8.4 Uh.... we can't have Jordan injured so enough of that okay?

106-88 Lake show!

Final Comments
Rick Fox is a broadcasting mess! But we love him even still.

Okay, best thing ever... and if you don't have 24 seconds to watch that video clip... Jordan is doing his post game interview in the locker room and Luke bumps into Jordan on purpose and Jordan comes with comment of the night, "Nice, Walton! Way to play 3 minutes tonight!" Nevermind his back pedal afterwards about him being his homie and all of that garbage, that was the best thing EVER. Good Lord.

Jordan gets to keep his award for that comment alone!

Thank you and Good night =)

80 (Lakers @ Nuggets)

2008-11-01T17:51:00.000-07:00

The first real road game of the season! The question lingering is: Is this a team we who can make a legitimate game of tonight's affair or is this just another "easy win" for the Lakers?

A word before the game
Tonight's game question via text is, "Which was more significant: acquiring Pau Gasol or extending Andrew Bynum?" I'm sitting here yelling at James Worthy on my television because he seems to think that it's absolutely Bynum. Well, here's the thing, I'm not saying that it was not important to retain Andrew (obvi) buuuuuuuut, we wouldn't be here in this giddy position if it weren't for Pau last year. While it would still be fun times at Lakerland with Andrew back this year, it wouldn't be nearly as comfortable (not that it's comfortable... what?) without Pau. So no James Worthy sir, Pau was the more important issue. Thanks for playing.

Starting Lineup
KB, DF, AB, PG, VR

1st Quarter
10:52 I see we're off to a tragic start tonight...

8:35 So 0-7 is a nice way to get underway with this game.

7:15 Pau is awake!

4:20 Sorry, I've been snoozing so far, but nice shot clock violation.

ORANGEJELLO!! Our friend is back. Woohoo, I knew there was a reason to like playing the nuggets.

1:16 A Garbage Pail Kid in the 1st quarter? Though Luke did bail us out last year when Lamar got in foul trouble hella early, more than once.

Wow, lets see if the second q can make me pay attention to the screen?

2nd Quarter
10:36 Machine shoot!

10:17 Machine um, well, what was machine doing again?

How is the game tied? I haven't been watching so it's hard to know if the Nuggets are any good of or we're being awful.

8:26 Pau's arm is okay to go. Phew!

Pretty sure Drew Drew touched that one but shhhhh.

7:12 THE TREV! (would have been better if it went in but the taste Anderson got there was sufficient enough)

5:51 Now we're hustlin'.

Andrew makes Duncan Face and gets a sit down pass to the bench with his 3rd.

4:17 Hmmm, Kobe's 3rd. Well, if anyone in this league can afford to have all of it's starters benched with 3 fouls its us so lets see how our depth chart holds up huh?

2:28 Josh Powell

1:46 D.Fish doesn't like 2's, whats say we only give him the ball when he's beyond the arc?

1:33 Apparently mouth guards don't need to be worn inside of your mouth anymore.

52-46 Nuggets

Half Time
Waaaaay too many fouls right now. The boys need to take a nap, do some yoga (namaste) or whatever they need to do in order to regroup at half time, we may not get a blowout win but they need to handle business. Don't let the sweep in the post season be called a fluke. Beat the drum Phil. Beat the drum.

3rd Quarter
Like 2 seconds into the half or whatever - Foul :(

11:19 Radman picks the ticks off of Drew's head as he gets called for his 4th. WTF y'all.

10:28? Vlad'd better make all 3 of those free ones or he's getting disowned... disowned.

8:54 This is starting to look depressing. I'm going to have to start talking smack in about another minute.

8:12 You won't win your way back into my heart with one shot Vladimir. Nope.

6:12 Sometimes Lamar, sometimes you have to just take the shot and stop sharing the goddamn rock.

4:54 Derek Fisher mopping up the floor - because somebody's got to.

3:58 Hit it Radman!

3:18 D.Fish lost his clutch I guess?

2:15 Pau has to be the second most awkward fast-breaker on the team (Post Up Walton is the first in case you weren't with us last season).

1:44 Ooooh Trevor.

1:37 It's fine Kobe, we don't need you to like make your frees or anything. Don't even worry about it.

0.55 Jordan around the back to Pau with interference and it's good! Where the eph has Jordan been all of this time? Lets get it runnin UCLA style already.

76 All - For cryin' out loud y'all.

4th Quarter
Birdman looks straight up nasty. No further comment.

9:47 Andrew gets to play himself out of the game. Good time to teach lessons Phil.

9:18 Does Stu hear himself when he talks? "They're right where they want to be." Doubtful.

Trevooooooooooor!

8:01 It's like the Lakers finally showed up for the game... make the freethrows Lamar, make them!

6:49 Kobe from doooowntoooown. Obviously ready to take over the game now. Let's go.

How many of those can he drop in a row? Let's count...

3:22 Lamar had no business taking that and he knew it. Good thing Kobes was there to clean it up.

Hahahahaaaaaaabaahabbbbaaa! Was that Joel or Stu that just stat cursed Melo at the charity stripe? Whoever it was, I love you!

1:50 Oh snap! Kobes.

55.3 "Kleiza sending the wrong guy to the line." Joel Myers - Preach.

Oh snap y'all. Holla.
=)

104-97 Lakeshow as it should be.

Final Comments
Okay, so to answer the question above. Denver was a team that could give us a game, but we still manhandled them in the end. Woo! However, with such sloppy play and such foul trouble the "Home Opener Killers" didn't make us or (I'm guessing) Phil very happy. Let's chalk this up to a kinda lucky win and go home and concentrate. Good idea.

Player of the Night: Jordan Farmar, but really just because nobody else could really take it away from him from last game. Nobody was really spectacular tonight.

81 (Lakers "@" Clippers)

2008-10-29T18:04:00.001-07:00

A tale of just the one city but with 2 teams. Home, but away, but still at home. It's kinda like when you're 30 and you go home to visit your parents. You're home but away from home, but you know... it's still like, home and stuff. Totally. Only in California do you get to play as the away team on your home court (facts not checked thoroughly and probably not at all)!! I looooooove LA - even if Randy Newman was "kidding".

A word before the game
As luck would have it K is busy tonight supporting her new love and I (S) am blessed with the KCAL 9 broadcast!!! I'm ready for this, ready to blog about the game all by myself. Lets see if we can make some freethrows tonight. Not that we were particularly bad at it last night or anything, but THEY'RE FREE. How do you pass up on something that's free? Answer me!

Starting Lineup
Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Vladimir Radmanovic, Pau Gasol, and Andrew Bynum - that's my guess anyway.

1st Quarter
Lakers control it (yay) and Pau tips it in for the first bucket of the game. Heeeeeere we go!

11:08 Andrew makes it rain. No pun intended.

Deeeeeelaaaaaay of game. Can we start charging players personally for those? It means we have to sit watching the game longer, we should be getting some money back.

7:47 Ew, someone's beard on the Clippers bench was not cute. If by "not cute" Imean naaasty, who was that?

Oh, it was Skinner. Not dateable.

5:57 Derek Fisher, hot like fiyah! Well, I guess, we'll have to wait and see.

Love Phil standing up looking on disapprovingly. I've missed that so much.

5:12 WHAT? Somoene put a stop to the nonsense on the Clipper bench. Kobe? Fish? Bueller?

4:11 What is everyone pointing at?

The crowd is at full throat tonight, as was expected from the best of L.A. crowd.

3:07 Baron Davis go to the corner. Derek go to the line.

1:44 Wow. Just wow. Why don't we just go home and let the Clippers practice their jumpshots for 3 quarters?

56.3 Now might be a good time for us to excerise some of all of that "depth" we've been bragging about. Phil?

Buzzer: Trevor puts it down, to untie the score finally.

30-27 I think - Lakers

2nd Quarter
Bench mob time. Time to run it and gun it.

9:25 Not the smoothest way to steal a ball but whatever gets it done I suppose.

8:37 Machine camp. Machine shoot.

6:50 UCLA! I guess that makes Jordan "UC" and Trevor "LA"? Love it!

Why does UCLA look so pissed off?

6:22 Ball don't lie y'all. I wasn't paying attention to why those freethrows were awarded but it's been too long since I've been able to say that.

Question on the replay into commercial. Is it easier to rebound sitting down?

4:58 Farmlife!! Swoosh.

I guess nobody cares that Kaman just ran over Trevor?

3:05 Early appearance for one of the garbage pail kids - lets see if Luke can be productive tonight.

1:45 Heres the thing... Yes, Fish made the shot, but... stop pull up jump shooting on fast breaks. STOP IT.
Walton is being productive so far. Let that not be a curse.

36.9 Deeeeeereeeek Fiiiiiisheeeer. Delicious as always. I'm going to build a shrine to his wonderful bald head.

Fumble! Is this Football? Or would you call that a scrum? Soccer?

Okay, I'm not sure if anyone saw this or not but while Kobe was winding down the clock on that second to last posession, he motioned for Luke to head to the corner 3 spot (you know by the bench). His leisurely stroll was one for the ages. This ain't no Sunday afternoon in the park darling. Running will not be penalized. Just sayin'.

59-44 Men of the Lake

Half Time
Quick quiz: Whats the worst fast break you've ever seen?
Answer: Luke Walton to Derek Fisher

I'm trying to get my Barack Obama commercial on during half time, so I really have nothing more to add here, see ya in a bit...

3rd Quarter
Watching D. Fish Sunday Stroll across the mid-court line is getting real old, real fast.

10:32 Good pass (Thornton me thinks)

10:18ish Andrew could probably walk an Olympic beam with those balancing skills.

9:16 Oh now the Clips wanna show up and guard Kobes. Quiet the crowd Kobe, quiet the crowd.

Lakersfunfacts.org: Vladi has a hairy chest.

7:36 Why does Andrew always look like he's going to tell Mom when he gets calls against him?

6:40 I guess we're gonna let the Clips get hot tonight, that's fine I suppose, gotta entertain the home crowd for a bit.

OMG B. Davis' Granmama!

I missed D. Fish's whatever that was, I'm guessing it was a dunk since everyone is up in arms about it.

I'm gonna start charging these guys for over and backs as well. Just cause.

4:13 Well, unless it's because Andrew is blatantly pushing you back over there.

3:20 Kobe steps through a Clipper body window to toss the ball up and in.

I thought the Clippers were better than this this year? If this was going to be the case, why show up? It's only a matter of minutes before Stu starts talking about the fence he needs to paint. Come to think of it, his wife should probably go ahead and hire someone to get that done already.

This ain't 7 seconds or less Trevor, slow it down just a bit.

1:09 MVP! MVP! I mean, what team is the crowd there for?

Quote of the night just now: Do you think it's bothersome to roll up in Staples Center and look up to see the Laker banners hanging and then look down and realize your uniform reads "Clippers"?

85-57 Yeah thats really the score, who do you think is winning?

4th Quarter
Lamar looks hurt? Oh nevermind, that was just an overreaction.

10:47 Look at the Clippers getting points. Heh.

10:28 Jordan Farmar, thats mah boy!

Are we going to have to add a shot rule to the drinking game for "everytime the game clock is missing from the broadcast"? Lets get it together.

9:25 And while we're at it, everytime they silence the broadcast for 5 seconds after we all hear the cuss word from whichever player. Classic.

8:25 Chrissie! I'm not sure who in my life started calling him that, but it made me laugh so hard that I can't call him anything else anymore.

7:53 That would have been an awesome play if it had been completed, the almost play, Sasha to whoever to Trevor. Tastes like an unbaked cookie.

7:35 Sasha with the behind the back to um, oh crap I suck at paying attention, was that Jordan?

Now Lamar's playing with the basketball like it's kid sized. This is a straight up laugh fest at the Clippers expense.

101 -68, when did that become the score? Good god Clippers.
This is what the Lake Show is all about. Hollywood Basketball if you will.

5:58 Garbage Pail Kids!! I'm going to go ahead and say that officially, the GPK is Chrissie, Lukie, and Joshie, with space for DJ and anyone else from the Bench Mob who falls asleep. The starting lineup needs a cutesy nickname.

4:04 Holy shit! Luke to Jordan who apparently got some red bull wings tonight (doesn't he have a cold?). Yeah, holy shit, those were some HOPS.

3:03 GPK is going to work son. Staples is empty.

Heres't the thing about GPK and, I'm sure I already said this yesterday, but... only on the Lakers (and mmmmmaybe on the Celtics) are they going to be the guys on the end of the bench. You find me another team in the league where you'd put Luke, Chris and Josh on the end of the bench and I'll show you a lie. God it's good to be a Laker fan right this moment.

Another random note: Can we get tacos if we're the away team? The score is pretty ridiculous right now. I don't even want to talk about it.

29.0 I know Luke wants the nutmeg (betwixt the legs) to be his signature pass but he needs to make it work a little bit better before we'll just call him Nutmeg instead of Traffic Cone

Okay, I have to admit, Jordan giving interviews after games is really awesome. Who needs to talk to Kobe anymore?

Uhhhhh 117 - 79 (or pretty much nothing)

Final Comments
Things its really too early in the season to be saying outloud but I'm saying them anyway:
- Chrissie is about half a game away from losing his "Hey there's that guy" title.
- An undefeated season in the NBA is actually possible.
- The Garbage Pail Kids are going to kill someone this year.
- Luke isn't going to be a Traffic Cone this year.

Player of the Night - Jordan Farmar because he is a catalyst. If Sarah Palin hadn't ruined it we'd call him a maverick.

Play of the Night - Luke to Jordan for a put down and an around the world tour of the rim before he drops to the ground.

The "Hell Yeah Bitches" award of the night - The Bench mob, because, well... Hell yeah, bitches!

Quote of the night - "Obviously you guys think you can win every single game this season" - Whoever, interviewing Jordan after the game. Damn right.

Sidenote of the night - Warriors were hangin tough with the Hornets tonight, we were both pullin for them to kick through this one... the season is young.

82 (Lakers vs. Trailblazers)

2008-10-28T17:19:00.000-07:00

Like Christmas morning, tonight is going to be the best night of the year! Although that'll probably be said more than a few times this season. Did you hear that? This Season! It's here, it's here, it's here!!!

Okay, enough giddy school girl nonsense, on with the show...

As promised this season's blogging will be different given that the two of us (K & S) live elsewhere now. No longer in the motherland, so sad... but we'll try to get as many games a possible and where necessary we'll sign comments with either a K or an S everyone is not so confused.

K actually follows another team now, we won't talk about that, but she's agreed to give the opening paragraph tonight:

I do not follow another team by choice, circumstances ya know...

A word before the game:
Opening night in the NBA and of course the Celtics are playing, of course we don't care, but big money comes from showing them the first night out. The Lakers are up 2nd on TNT. You know what that means (the game will be delayed by at least 20 minutes). Love for Turner is never-ending here. It also means the comical stylings of Sir Charles are back! You know you missed his nonsense. ADMIT IT.

This season we have a motto for the Lakeshow, Take No Prisoners. That's how they need to attack this thing, after all, you can't take prisoners if you kill them all. Kill and destroy. So exciting to see the boys back in the FB&CG and occasionally the SNW. Look out this season for Jordan to notch himself permanently in our "hero" position, for Mihm to no longer be "that guy", and for a championship parade that we'll be forced to fly in for. Woo-hoo.

Starting Lineup
K to the O to the B to the E, Pow Pau Popozao, D.Fish, Radman, and a finally completely legal Drew

Now lets get it on!

1st Quarter
Its so fun missing tip-off due to TNT double-headers, it's kind of the best. No really.

No clue what the time in the game is because TNT doesn't want to be bothered with posting clocks or anything like that but: D. Fish!

Seriously where are the game clocks???

Pretty sure LO pushed him, but we're okay with the way it shook down.

Drew is back y'all. Nobody gets a body on Andrew, nobody.

LO passes to Sasha... wait... Machine isn't in the game?
"Machine camp, shoot from bench. No matter" - Jeff at Forumblueandgold.com

Pau, please don't start your whining, it's very very early in the season.

Time to start some UCLA plays - right away The Trev for the dunk, and then the wide open 3.

Oh look there's the game clocks. Just in time for the quarter to be over with.

2nd Quarter
Jordan plays well with everyone.

Machine shoot. No good.

Machine shoot. No good.

Machine shoot. Good!

Kobe - Pau, just like old times.

We all know that Oden looks like LeBron, but how is it that he looks a full 10 years older?

Radman! Not that we even needed it or anything, this is kind of depressing to watch, its not even a game at this point.

No more spinny spin for you Mr. Bryant.

Whatever the score is, it's Lakers by a lot.

Half Time
Lets look at replay of Lamar passing to Sasha. Can't wait for the write up on that one from Basketbawful tomorrow.
We spent the halftime break reliving the Machine videos over at Lakers-Fans.com so we have no idea what Charles Barkley was talking about. But, we'll try to put the time stamp on the second half of the game now that we can focus a little bit. Try being the operative word here.

3rd Quarter
9:06 Rough start to the second half, all of a sudden we're only up by 8?

8:33 When in doubt, KB24 will work it out.

MVP shouts, we assume, will continue throughout the entire season. Do we get tacos? We want to hear those chants as well.

Just a random question at the time out... Are the high fives mandatory? I mean, what if you don't want to slap hands with your teammates when they come from the floor or after they make/miss (so really whenever they take) freethrows? Will you be fined? Is that unsportsmanlike?

4:47 Vladi (you'd have to hear us say that outloud... or you could watch his cameo in the Machine videos to hear it).

2:35 Is it that they don't have shot clocks in Portland? Way to blaze that trail guys.

Mic'ing Lamar is odd, it's like listening to Justin Bobby talk. See: Hills, The on MTV.

1:17 Now even the fans are required to slap hands with the players that crash into them.

30.1 Pau needs lessons in finishing shit up. Just sayin'.

Its also really early in the season to start Oden watch again. If by "really early" we mean, it's only the first night.

4th Quarter
11:03 Hmmm, thats not quite how the UCLA plays are supposed to end.
Technical fouls are the bestest, Trevor.

Oh look there's homeless looking Luke Walton on the bench.

Woah, we missed what happened, girl talk interrupted.

8:50 Trevor blocks that with a vengeance. Outta his face!

7:37 More Trevor. Mmmmmmmmmm!

6:22 Farm Life with the almost put back, we love him, yes we do.

3:41 Kobe Bryant taking no prisoners! You thought he was going to have a quiet night?
You can put those thoughts on the permanent "mmm-mmnn" list.

Bloooooooooooowz to be Greg Oden. Blowz.

2:37 Hahahahaha, the lineup, Powell, Walton, Mihm and everybody else. Actually, when those are the guys getting your garbage minutes it has to be a good thing. So we're only laughing because... well, I'm not sure why we're laughing, but its funny okay?

25.1 Mihm with the "hell no" block.

Jordan pads the score but no tacos y'all.

96-76 Laaakers, Takers, Money-makers

Final Comments
Not too much criticism tonight since it's game uno, but this niceness shall soon pass, believe that.
One thing though, this game was wide open enough that the "garbage pail kids" should have gotten a little more playing time, gotta pick those battles while you're able to Phil.

Player of the Night - Kobe just cause
Play of the Night - LO's pass to Sasha on the bench
Quote of the Night - See 1st Quarter (LO's pass)

1 down, 81 to go

Lakers vs Kings

2008-10-12T18:46:00.000-07:00

Thanks to DirecTV and NBATV for the free preview until the end of the month, we're watching the game on the big screen! Pizza, beer, and channel flipping between the Lakers and the Chargers, what more could a girl ask for?

We were at this very pre-season game last year, Vegas is best done on a Friday night (for future reference y'all). But tonight is the first appearance of the Sunday Night Whites, and we couldn't be happier. Well, we could be happier, if say... we were in Vegas. Oh and if Drew didn't have to wear a brace on the knee, but better safe than sorry.

Oh my god don't fall! (Jordan)

Kobe misses - oddly enough - but then puts it right back in on the next trip down.

In related news the Chargers are doing work on the Patriots, just the way we like it.

Son of George needs to hang onto his spot on the end of the pine, we neeeeeeed Son of George. Need.

Let us tell you this season why it's difficult to be a Lakers fan living in another state. We'll count the ways, you can count on that.

Powell looks pretty good out there, ok, he looks alright out there, but we can't be forced to get used to the newbies until opening day, it's just easier that way. So instead we wanted to join the ranks of everyone in the world talking about how Drew got all swolled up over the summer, and yeah...
Wait, what were we saying? Anyway, Jordan is still our hero and he looks like he's had a good summer. Luke's out but we're holding off on making fun of him in light of stalkerfest 2007-2008. And good god is it good to see The Trev back out there, god! Oh oh, and don't forget Chris, Christopher, Chrissie Mihm. Can he just be productive this season? Is that asking so much?

Ok, maybe we owe Chrissie a little credit... Mihm got hops, how he get that?

TREVOR!

Chargers 30, Patriots 10 (we guess, we stopped watching because whats the point?) Woohoo!

Since it's impossible to concentrate on the game thanks to Charger victory mayhem outside right this moment, let us take a second to talk about how sad and solemn it is without Ronny on the bench :(

DJ's out there hustlin' "Everyday I'm hustlin, hustlin, everyday, everyday, everyday I'm hustlin" If you don't understand that, hit google.

Wooooohooooo, good night for sports. First pre-season, meaningless win of the year!

Ready or not...

2008-10-01T12:44:00.000-07:00

Good lordy, if this doesn't make you giddy you probably eat babies for dinner or something

MEDIA DAAAAAAAY!!!

2008-09-30T11:42:00.000-07:00

It's here, it's finally here!

Media day marks the beginning. Not the official beginning but more like the end of having to think about last season. Yeah yeah, we can spend all summer thinking about whats going to be and who is going to be next season but nothing says "right here, right now" like media day.

Meet the new kids, realize the sadness that is the old kids missing - Ronny :(

But most of all, it's like the first day of school. Everyone is back, packed for Hawaii, ready to ball. Prepare to be attached to the computer waiting for updates, and most of all, there's no more need to read football blogs. Oh lordy, it's finally here!

Seeing the picture of Pau and Andrew sandwiching Kobe brings an overwhelming sense of joy, an irremovable grin, and most of all a "lets get ready to rumble" feeling. Seriously, lets do this boys.

Ed note: This blog will be changing formats this season because... well, because both of us are moving. Writer number 1 will be relocating to Indiana in January which means bad things as far as watching games, unless someone can recommend an excellent place to watch games online ;). Writer 2 moved to Northern California and that pretty much means the same thing for her, but we both still loooooove the Forum Blue and Championship Gold.

Finals, Game 6, Lakers-Celtics

2008-06-17T18:02:00.001-07:00

We believe in the win tonight. We are there, we are cheering, we are in love. But no matter which way it goes tonight, we want them to have fun.

We couldn't have asked for a better regular season and it's been one HELL of a run in the post season. No regrets.

1st Quarter
11:01 It wasn't pretty but they pulled it out just now. Was that a steal? Whatever, we are under way, good job team.

10:33 No good!

We CANNOT be having the shot clock running out... wake up y'all.

Isn't it great how we get to keep talking about how Ray's son was in the hospital and he doesn't want to talk about it? I don't think he meant for everyone to spend the week talking about him not talking about it, let's just drop it, kids don't ask for fame.

9:02 Kobe is already in head shaking mode. Not tonight.

True story:
The Nuggets bus caught on fire on the way to Staples
The Spurs plane was delayed overnight leaving from New Orleans headed to LA
The Celtics' plane was delayed several hours on the way home

5:57 Heres an idea, let's all stand around and watch Rajon shoot the ball.

Dear Budweiser, it would be weiser if you understood that pouring a beer straight into a cup and leaving a shit ton of foam on top of it is not cute.

4:20 Poor baby Ray-Ray... wheelchair time?

Foul wasn't called because flopping will be fined next season that's why Doc.

3:21 Luke Walton showed up? "Happy Father's Day... ... ??" This could be a good sign.

Scrolling through the comments over at FB&G comes this: I wonder how much softer my couch would be if Pau Gasol laid down on it?

Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches? This is a story?

57.something Walton with the steal!

Not the best quarter ever but not the worst either 24-20 Celtics

2nd Quarter
eHarmony commercial is like awful.com right now

A side discussion about whether Ronny looks like a terrorist of the animal from predator is going on here... my vote, terrorist. But, the nicest, awesomest terrorist ever.

10:14 Glen Davis is THICK.

9:57 Doc gets a T... can he get another? Give it to him!

8:55 FUCK!

A montage of finger pointing!

and this is where we have technical difficulties with the internet... not uncommon, we hate this service but it's all that is available.. and let's not even talk about that sucktastic end of the first half.

Half Time
Whatever. Let's go Lakers!

3rd Quarter
We don't really have the strength to blog about the 3rd... check back in the 4th.

4th Quarter

Epic FAIL

2008-06-13T12:50:00.000-07:00

Denial
This season isn't over. It's not over, the fat lady may be waiting in the wings but it's not her part yet, the stage manager hasn't tolled for her.

Anger
How the hell did that happen? How? HOW? 24 points? That is just unreal! Throw a chair Sasha because thats exactly what we did.

Bargaining
Next year is our year...

Depression
This fucking sucks. Point blank.

Acceptance
What else is on TV?

Just some opinions we've collected from around the internet. Our opinion?

Well, PB&J was right, it's not over. Last night was singlehandedly the most ridiculous thing ever to happen in the history of western civilization but it happened. Sunday is a new day, we can go out and win it on Sunday. There is no reason we shouldn't have the fire, emotion and passion to win on Sunday. Lay it all out there on the table on Sunday night. Nobody wants to be embarrassed twice in a row at home. Then we got to Boston and start all over again. One game at a time eh?
It could happen. We could be the first team to overcome a 3-1 deficit and win the title and this will be the game that makes this series EPIC for reasons other than just being the game where the Celtics stuck sticks in the spokes of our wheelchairs. Yes the Lakers were the handicapped kids laying on the playground while everyone else pointed and laughed and the teachers were all in a staff meeting.

We're taking today to be pissed off, befuddled, and our statement to inquiring minds is "I don't even want to talk about it." But tomorrow we're all about how it's possible to win 3 in a row and starting on Sunday, it is on!

Finals, Game 4, Lakers-Celtics

2008-06-12T18:01:00.001-07:00

Nervous, straight up and straight down, thats what we are. Nervous. Not that we don't have faith, we've decided to be nervous so the gentlemen don't have to be. Let's get this party started shall we? BTW, we haven't forgotten game 2 at all. We have riotous (no really) stories from HCA over at Staples Center coming soon. Game 3 we didn't see but it's on the DVR for later this summer when theres no basketball in sight. It'll be fun to watch and review that after all is said and done.

Tip off - Nothing out of the ordinary

1st Quarter
My god we love Steve Javie. "I could make love to Steve Javie tonight." He always seems to make correct and fair calls, time for real basketball, not pre-decided bullshit (whether that's true or not).

10:13 Kobe can't be missing these free throws like that. Can't.

9:30 Doc Rivers needs to get it together... or not, either way, but he must know that Javie will give that T without so much as a second thought. Even we know that.

9:04 Rihanna says, "Bum bum be-dum bum bum be-dum dum". We're not really sure what that means but it sure sounds good with the LO dunk in the background.

7:45 Celtics are looking ticked off.

Doesn't Mbenga look Mbeautiful tonight in his suit? Just sayin'.

6:39 LO on FIYA! In related news Turiaf charged with holding the entire rest of the team on the bench.

6:05 LAMAR FUCKING ODOM! (but make those freethrows huh?)

This is why we pwned the Western Conference... when the other team can't double anybody because everybody is a threat to their individual and collective manhoods.

5:01 Kobe Bryant! Foul or no foul that was AMAZING.

It helps that Boston can't even make uncontested shots. Thank god we have a coach like PB&J, even with this score he find something to scowl about (thats what we need). Timeout!

1:58 Trevor Ariiiiiiiiiiiiiiza! God is it good to see him back.

Pau Pau rubs Jordan's head in lil brudder fashion. We think that's cute. We're also to lazy to link you to anything to help if you don't know what lil brudder is. Just say it out loud or something.

.53 (ish) Eddie was open like a whore house a midnight and still got the miss?

Oh did you hear that? Largest lead in a Finals game 1st Quarter ever... 20 points, if Gasol didn't miss his free throws we could break that record. Here comes Machine.

There it is
35-14 Lakers with the largest lead in NBA history at the end of a 1st Quarter in Finals.

2nd Quarter
11:42 Trevor please call us, we have something for you. We were gonna give you a ball but you just stole one. and then moments later, a put back.

10:08 Luke Walton please study the game of basketball sometime soon.

Trevor is out of control tonight. Pure animal. We like it. No, we LOVE it.

"Saved by who else... Ariza"

8:37 Finally finally finally...

7:03 OH SON! Jordan almost killed it on that one, stupid whistle.

6:45 MACHINE

Sit down Doc, you can't foul Turiaf on that.

The outro clip to commercial ft. Trevor singing is awesome.5 Play it again, play it again.

4:57 A rare no-shoot for Sasha?

Okay lets not let the C*ltics get out of hand here.

Derek working his "what the hell?" face to take us into the commercial break. Yeah, we don't know either Fish.

2:01 Gasol for dat ass!

1:09 Ray Allen for zero.

52.2 Kob don't start actin' up.

9.1 It is kind of weird to watch D Fish standing there dribbling the clock out and not Kobe but he looks good doing it just the same. Gasol and 1.

5.2 Believe it Phil, Radman has no idea what is going on right now. Your favorite Martian?

0.0 THAT'S WHAT JORDAN DOES, THAT'S HIS JOB HIT THAT SHIT AT THE BUZZER.

Lots of points for the Lakers, not so many for the Celtics

Half Time
As much fun as this is, Boston isn't really playing much ball tonight. They can't be giving up on this series. Putting Jordan in for that last play was perfect. But putting Trevor in was just out of this world brilliance. Good work ALL.

3rd Quarter
10:57 That was Kobe's first.

9:35 LO you coulda made that baby... shoulda

Thats enough Celtic injuries. Yes, this one looks serious, but the others? But we do wish him well, nobody wants to see that even if it is a Shamrock.

9:17 PJ Brown with one of those whore house shots. Wide open, just don't wanna go in.

7:07 Damn are we lookin good or what? Everybody is just on it tonight.

"Flea, I'm told from the Red Hot Chili Peppers" Did someone really have to tell him that? National Television...

6:04 Vlad puts it down like it ain't no thang

3:57 4 for Posey, not points, fouls. But can we finish this play?

2:29 Garnett finally getting called for his screens.

Split screen of Doc pacing the floor anxiously and Phil cleaning out his ears. Classic.

Let us not give away our entire lead huh?

73-71 Are you kidding me that the lead for the Lakeshow is only 2 points?

4th Quarter
The unfortunate thing about the Jack In The Box commercial with your embarrassing dad at the Smoothie Joint is that... there was no imagination involved in that, it happens every day. Ew.

11:38 Come on Ronny!

Sasha really needs an Oscar already. Scissor drop-kick from the floor. Precious.

Oh heavens! 73-all.

9:02 75-all

Shit, shit, shit!

We need Kobe to start his head shaking. You know where he walks up and down the court telling the other team "No, you're not winning this tonight." That, we need that. Let's go Lakers.

6:21 L.Odom!

5:47 Farm Life to KB24 and it's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

4:45 OH come on Pau... he's looking a lot like Phil today.

4:06 That sound you just heard was all of California screaming at the same time.

3:13 Are you kidding me?

Can't.breathe.

Honestly we have nothing to say right now. We can't. Must watch intently.

Final Comments
It gets late early - Are.You.Kidding.

And can Paul Pierce stop thinking that God had something to do with this? Thanks.

Finals, Game 1, Lakers-Celtics

2008-06-05T17:21:00.001-07:00

Is it normal to be this nervous when you have absolutely nothing to do with the outcome of the game? We couldn't sleep last night, haven't eaten today and are just downright giddy. Looking at the pictures from the blog on the Lakers' website of Boston and all things TD Northbank just pushed us over the edge. We're pretty sure we need to find a way to get to one of these games. No idea how that's going to work but we'll keep you posted. This is the ULTIMATE NBA match up and it just so happens to feature our favorite and only team and we have an even advantage to win? Life doesn't get much better my friends, it really really doesn't.
Oh my god... watching them run out onto the floor is unreal!

Kinda like Maroon 5 said, it's getting harder and harder to breathe. Let's get this pony show on the road. Seriously, let's get going, we can't wait ANY FUCKING LONGER!! LET'S PLAY!

(not sure how we feel about james taylor with the national anthem)
Tip Off
All the people you might expect, and for the Lakeshow that means Kobe Bryant, Derek Fisher, Lamar Odom, Pau Gasol, and Vladimir Radmonovic with the ghosts of Magic, Kareem, Rambis, Wilt, West and whoever else you wanna name, all ready to rumble.

1st Quarter
Kind of surprising nobody has made a bigger deal out of the fact that Son of former Celtic Bill playing in this series.

Also we D-I-G the large statue of the trophy as the starting 5 walk out. Did we mention EPIC?

11:44 Pau takes the first shot for a make! Wooooooo!

10:06 D Fish!

9:50 Celtics barely being guarded and they miss 2 3's in a row and we get the ball, this is how this needs to be played.

7:52 That missed free throw just hurt all of the Garden "ugggh!"

5:10 Wow, 12-all, that's a low score is it not?

Machine gets up to play.

Back court? Back court!?!?!?

2:40 Farm life!

2:26 Gasol for the block leads to Machine for the 3.

23-21 Celtics

2nd Quarter
11:something Get it Ronny :)

10:49 Luke picking up the loose ball foul, how do you make the furrowed brow face on the internet? >:{ ?

8:46 Wow, they waited a long time before starting the MJ talk.

Ronny needs to control himself.

Or he could just pick up fouls so Pau doesn't get them, hmmm, interesting theory.

6:27 NGL, that was all ball and they give KG the frees anyway, poor Pau.

True story: We know someone that knows someone who will be on the season premiere of Wipeout. Her family even rented a club downtown for the viewing party, free food, not free liquor. We invited ourselves.

We want a jersey from this game!!! Can we have Turiaf's?

5:20 Yes we know Kobe's finger is broken, thanks.

5:14 Bye bye Piercey

4:37 Posey for zero

4:18 Posey couldn't convert even after Radman stopped trying and then they got themselves a foul? Certainly that will give the conspiracy theorists some material for tomorrow morning.

3:09 Round of applause for L Odom. Build up that lead darlings.

Bill Russell & Julius Erving... gotta respect the greats no matter what.

1:22 Holler at Rondo for giving it up but then whatever the opposite of a holler is to the Lakers for giving it up at the other end and then we'll give that holler over to D Fish for the 3. That's a lot of holler transferring.

51-46 La la la la lakers.

Half Time
OMG Marines are hott! Even the ones who can't swim. And let's all go see Hancock when this is over?
Magic & Bird split screen = unreal. Rivalries never die.

3rd Quarter
Powder up Kobe!

11:15 Did we honestly just give PP a 4 point play?? Oh yeah, looks like.

9:34 Radman had better get his temper under control ASAP

6:49 What the hell happened to Pierce? Other than Kobe owning? Oh... his own teammate. Now when the Lakers win they'll say it's because of this and not because they can play.
Wheelchair? Oh shit. Good job blocking the cameras backstage though?

And there goes Perkins too?

Their shorts look so funny when they replay the jumps in slow mo.

Voo-Yah-Chich

5:22 Love the entire arena not even paying attention to the game but rather the action in the tunnel. Too bad Pierce looks like he might topple over any second.

4:12 Even with the Odom put in, this isn't going so well is it?

3:40 KG donates 3 easys to the Machine's cause.

3:06 Oh Oh OOOOOOOh! D Fish to KB24. Like buttah!

46.3 All of this back and forthing with the score is killin us.

MADE! After the buzzer =/

77-73 Leprechauns

4th Quarter
11:08 Wasn't that the second loose ball on Walton who's dad predicted the C's for the series?

Oh dear...

8:26 What the hell Derek?

whatever the time is: E.T. er.... Cassell can't tell time. Oops?

5:42 Kobe must begin total domination now.

3:43 We're too close to let this game go tonight. GIDP. Get it done please.

2:57 L Odom might be the wake up buzzer these guys need.

2:34 Ray Allen is a bullshitter.

1:54 Anybody else notice certain players re fuzzy looking on the screen? Can ABC get it together soon?

Must... breathe... in... AND... out...

Wanted to see Wanted quite some time ago, glad it's finally getting around to coming out.

In-N-Out, this game ain't bein played in California so what gives?

98-88 Celtics

Final Comments
From Evil Ted @ Basketbawful:
Early in the game, officials called a backcourt violation on Gasol that wasn't a backcourt violation, why? Because Gasol's location in relation to the centerline was obscured by the fact that the Celtics have plastered an O'Brien trophy logo across the full width of the court. If a bad call relating to the midcourt line is made at a critical point in a critical game, expect to hear more about this unecessary logo. Later in the game, KG saved a ball from going into the back court and the Celtics scored. It was a critical play and it looked like KG's foot stayed on the correct side of the center line, but there's no precise way to tell. Why? Cause there's no centerline, that's why.

and Wild Yams continued:
For Game 2 I'd like to see them go with a lengthwise, full-court Larry O'Brien trophy rather than that half-ass side to side one they have at midcourt. They should have it not only blot out the halfcourt line, but also the painted areas under each basket as well as the 3-point line, the free throw line and the dotted line under each hoop. I can't wait till it's the future and they have motion graphics going underneath the floor and on the backboards. It's going to be super-keen!

Yeah... about that!

Antsy, predictions, just sayin

2008-06-04T13:48:00.001-07:00

One more day and finally finally finally, the finals will be underway.

We couldn't be more excited. You see, we've grown up around basketball all of our lives but this is the first time "our" team is in it to win it. We were around for the 3-peat. No joke, watched the games, did the parades and all of those etc, but we weren't really fans, just watching because our parents were and parading because we knew someone in the Laker organization. Now, NOW, we are fans. We've been watching on our owns (no adult supervision required) since last season, so we're in between what you might call bandwagon fans and die hard fans, but we're gettin' there.

We were just as heartbroken as the next person to watch the team struggle through the season and then whimper out during the first round last year and we're just as excited to see them ready to kick ass this season in the finals. That is one amazing turn around for a years time.

A few things on our minds.

~ All of the Kobe stories that we're about to hear more about than we need to. We hate national television. Hate.
~ Boston fans. Not all, but a lot are nasty. (more later)
~ The storied franchises meet again!!!

Here's the thing about a lot of Boston fans vs. a lot of Laker fans we've encountered recently. The Boston Celtic's fans are downright rude. Rude to other fans, rude to the players and their families, just rude. It's inconceivable. There's no reason to be rude to fans just because they are fans of another team. You'd think from the way they are talking to other people that they themselves have something to do with their team(s) winning or losing. Newsflash people, you are not on the payroll. Just sayin'.

Of course we want the Lakeshow to win. But more than just because winning is fun and winning is what it's all about... there are 3 things that will just be downright amazing to witness.
PB&J passing Red in titles won.
Lakers setting a new precedent for the rivalry.
Next season pwning our faces.
Plus we seriously don't plan to go to work the day of the parade.

The other thing that would be really really amazing to watch... if the Lakers win the series while at Boston one night, obviously we're talking about game 6 or 7 here. It'll be the second time in history anyone has done that to Boston. Lakers need to get there, and they just might. We're optimistic and would pick Lakers in 7 if asked, but realize that there is a possibility that it might go the other way.

This is going to be epic!

P.S. It's funny how just a few weeks ago we were giving ourselves the "it's okay if we don't make it to the finals this season has exceeded expectations already" and then we moved on to "it's okay if we don't win the championship, this season has blown expectations out of the freakin water" and now it's "win or go home, all or nothing, do or die, we must win". There is no excuse for failure.

We dare you

2008-06-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

We dare you not to get teary eyed, or at the very least, pumped up beyond belief, when you read this!

Too many days off

2008-06-02T19:36:00.000-07:00

We had nothing to say about the Spurs series. Really, we expected to finish it up with ease and we did.

But here's a great video to keep you company until finals start

We were rooting for the Hornets

2008-05-20T14:06:00.000-07:00

San Antonio Spurs

There's something so brilliant about being in the Western Conference Finals. There's something so annoying about facing the Spurs in the WCF:

Tony Parker - We just don't like this guy. We don't want to watch him do interviews and speak to his wife in French. We don't want to watch him fall on the floor (which we know is fake because his wife called him out on it) like his spine just got broken into 98037438 pieces when a gust of air hits him from some Laker running down the court.

Tim Duncan - We don't care to look at his Duncan-Face.
Actually, we're pretty sure nobody wants to look at it. We vote, every time he makes that face he has to spend a full 2 possessions by his own team looking at his own face in a mirror attached to his shoes.

Texas - We hate the entire state and a majority of the people in it. Sorry, there are some genuinely great people unfortunate enough to be from or in Texas and we don't completely fault you for that, but as many times as we've been to Texas there is absolutely NO convincing us that there is anything good about it. Period. If we could give Texas back to Mexico we'd do it ourselves. Gift wrapped with a large bow. Of course that's more than Texas deserves, we should just post her on Craigslist... "Take her, she's yours. You provide transportation."

Eva Longoria - Or Eva Longoria-Parker as she would have us say out loud. Look, we're down for the celeb cam during time outs or whatever, but this woman has nothing to do with basketball. Stop interviewing her during, before and after the games. We've never heard her say a single thing noteworthy about the game. Oh, wait, unless we're counting the time when she said that TP fakes injuries on the court. If we were Spurs fans we'd try to get rid of her on Craigslist as well. In fact, unless we are allowed to bring card board cut outs of her to hold up while TP shoots free throws, she's irrelevant.

Silver, Black & White - Raise your hand if you have the most boringest uniform in the history of Western Civilization... ::all SAS players raise their hands::

Aside from all of that... bring it on. We're ready to get our shouting on!

WCF Here We Come

2008-05-17T08:59:00.000-07:00

We have no words for last nights game. Okay, maybe a few... some people may be upset that we blew the lead by so much. But, here we have a thought, perhaps we built the lead while we were feeling tough and alive in anticipation of having to dole some of it away later in the game. What if we hadn't built the lead so large and then the Jazz had their comeback push? Yeah, we like this way better as well. A win is a win is a win is a trip to the WCF!

In the words (and voice/accent) of Ronny Turiaf, "That's what I'm talking about baby!!"

Without further ado, we have a small futuristic glimpse into the roadtrip to the Western Conference Finals

Game 5 and beyond, Round 2 Lakers - Jazz

2008-05-16T08:17:00.000-07:00

As expected, the boys took care of things at home. We know that it's the playoffs and we understand why, but what the hell happened to Ira Newble, DJ Mbenga, Coby Karl, and Chris Mihm? We're just sayin'.

A few notes:
We're glad Jordan is getting back to himself, he's got a ways to go, but he's getting there.
Kobe's back is like the 6th member of the team at all times, it gets a lot of press, more press than Kobe's fingers got, there might be some jealousy soon. In fact if any reporter out there sees this and would do us the favor of asking Kobe if his finger is jealous of the attention his back is getting, we would love you FOREVER!
How long do Upper Respiratory Infections last?
Sasha did not name himself The Machine, please, for the love of Godot, TNT and ESPN, stop saying he named himself that. Where does this folklore come from? What are you talking about? Please check with your buddies at KCAL/FSN, Joel Meyers & Stu Lantz.

Instead of talking about relevant things that may or may not have happened in game 5, how about we just give you some of the best quotes around the internet pertaining to this series?

There are 9 white guys on the court right now. Kinda rare.
&
(and I'm counting Farmar/Deron as one)
Comment by carter blanchard — May 14, 2008 on Forum Blue & Gold

Referring of course to the following line up in game 5: Pau Gasol, Jordan Farmar, Luke Walton, Vladimir Radmanovic, and Sasha Vujacic for the Lakers. Deron Williams, Andrei Kirilenko, Mehmet Okur, Kyle Korver, and Matt Harpring for the Jazz.

i love going to the game
i love the freaks at the game
i love the hippies the yuppies the gangbangers the lawyers the
corporate suits the trendy teenagers
the flaunters the humble fans the true fans the band wagoneers the
thugs the thoughtful
the fathers and mothers and kids the intelligent observers of the
game the drunken yelling morons
the hot silicone chicks with painted fingernails who parade around and
dont pay attention to the game
the black the white the brown the red the yellow
i love em all at the game
when everyone is rooting together
when we all come together
when we are all one for a little while but like it should always be
thats cool
From Flea's blog on NBA.com

and finally:
Luke Walton: Mitch Kupchak finished second in NBA Executive of the Year voting, and it was well-deserved. For the most part. But the six-year, $30 million contract he gave to Walton was as good a reason as any that Kups didn't come in first. The Son of Bill must have been channeling the spirit of his daddy's feet, because he played a pretty worthless 13 minutes: 1 point, 0-for-1, 2 rebounds, zero assists, 1 turnover, 1 steal and 2 personal fouls. And just think: The Lakers can look forward to five more years of this!
from Basketbawful

Let's go ahead and take care of things in Utah tonight shall we? If the guy with the "Not room service again" doll wasn't enough to make it a we're-gonna-win-so-you-can-shut-the-hell-up game, then surely the guy covering up his eye and screaming at D.Fish was. Maybe he got tuned out, as he should have been, by everyone on the floor and maybe that's why it didn't become personal, but it needs to be this time around. That guy is the reason so many people across the nation HATE the Jazz fans. Hate. We were going to write about how classless that was but we don't even have the energy to waste on such ridiculousness so just let it be said that some guy in Utah might be ball less soon, and we're not talking about anyone on the Jazz team.

Let's go Lakers!

Games 2, 3, 4 Lakers - Jazz

2008-05-12T19:10:00.000-07:00

Game 2 - win. Enough said.
Game 3 - lose. But it was close enough to realize that we weren't honestly going to make it to the finals undefeated, so suck it up and lets move on.
Game 4 - lose. Very close, a few wrong moves and ... oh hell. Here's the dish. We were watching the game with people who don't like the Lakers. In fact 2 of these people actually HATE the Lakers, but there was a complete agreeance on one thing: the refs sucked the life out of that game. Rather than rehash everything that went wrong or anything that went right, we want to take a minute to talk about something else.

Jordan Farmar
Unlike the rest of Laker fans we're not going to take a day to hate on him. Instead we thought we'd point out the good he's done this year. Without him running the second unit for most of the year we wouldn't be here. So often this year it's been either the starters or the bench mob who've secured a game for us. Not often enough could you bill a win to the entire team. Which means, you have to give a bunch of credit to Jordan.
That said, a lot of people seem to forget that he's only in his sophomore year in the league. Frankly we'd be concerned if he wasn't having trouble defending the Jazz. If you watch closely enough, Derek Fisher is having trouble with the same guys. Oh, wait, you don't have to watch that closely. Notice in the past 2 games when Derek has left the floor early in the 1st quarter it's been Jordan who gets up off of the bench.

We're not gonna sap fest but since we're the self appointed joint presidents of the Stop Hating On Jordan Farmar & Say His Name Right As Well campaign we wanna say, "Stop hating on Jordan Farmar, and learn to sayhis name right as well!".

We still love you Jordan, Farm Life, J-Farm, Jordy, and you're still our hero!

M to the V to the P

2008-05-07T07:17:00.000-07:00

Game 1, Round 2 Lakers - Jazz (or Jazz-Jazz depending on which website you look at) was thrilling, and there's something to be said about owning the game even after you got completely completely pwned on the glass - yes, yes they did - but since we pulled away with the win, the whole thing was 100% overshadowed by the team going out to dinner together on Friday night to watch the Jazz-Nuggets game.

We all know that this is not the first time they've done team things, but apparently this is a big big deal. Whatever whatever.

The true story of the week here is that Kobe is our MVP. No really, he is.

Let's hear it for campaign manager Dr. Buss himself. In case you didn't know, the splash screen with all of the campaign buttons on Lakers.com is representative of the real stuff Dr. Buss packaged up with a letter signed by him and with his self appointed title of Campaign Manager, urging the media to vote for Kobe. This from the guy who went through all of that nonsense before training camp last year. Goes to show just how much things get blown out of proportion by the media, AND just how much the whole thing has been squashed and we don't ever want to hear about it again after this post.

Daddy 4 MVP
Kobe's our MVP

and the sub campaigns
We Gusta Pau
Bench Mob Owned You

That pretty much completes our season, only one thing left to do now... take it all home.

So let's recap:

Pacific Division Champions
Western Conference 1-seed
1st round sweep
MVP of the League
...

Bring.it.on.

Game 3 (ish) & 4, round 1, Lakers-Nuggets

2008-05-02T20:02:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed there was no blog for game 3. That's because it was boring and we fell asleep. Okay, we weren't sleeping but, it was boring, so no comment.

The Nuggets completely laid down on this series. No team play, no defense, no heart. All of those things are readily evident and discussed at length around teh internets, so we won't bother. Some key observations however:
Watching the Nuggets come unglued in each game was a treat.
Coby and Daddy reunions at home in dENVER must have been fun.
Kobe buys steak dinners. That's what Lamar said.

As a side note, of course we are enjoying and hardly expect anything less than a championship from this team, but, we have to be honest and say that we were holding our breath for a first round passing grade at the beginning of the season. It's quite nice to be able to just sit back relax and enjoy it all.

The other great debate around the world is how much rest is too much rest? Where do you draw the line between wanting your opposing team to go 7 games so they are tired and wanting them to get it over with already so you can hit the floor running before you get to permanent vacation mode?

Internet voting? Who will win the Jazz/Rockets series?

Quote from this series that makes us giggle:
I told Kobe that his Shaquille O'Neal's Free Throw Instructional Video was a bad investment.

Get some rest, boys!

Comment by j. d. hastings at Forum Blue & Gold dot com

Last, but absolutely not least...
Regular season results - Boston 66/16 Atlanta 37/45
- Los Angeles Lakers 57/25 Denver 50/32

Look at those numbers for a minute or two. Compare them all 4 ways. How is it even possible that the Eastern Conference where the is taking it's first round series between the 1 and 8 seeds to 7 games and the Western Conference series between the 1 and 8 seeds got shut down in 4? Those fortunes seem reversed. If you can't do math that says that the east has a 29 game separation and the west has a 7 game separation. Un.be.lievable.

The sad thing about this is that we may not get to see the Lakers and the Celtics in the finals. If Atlanta brings it home in game 7 though, we may not even care who we see in the finals.

Let's go get some!

Game 2, Round 1, Lakers-Nuggets

2008-04-26T13:57:00.000-07:00

We'll make this quick:

Solid game, could have been better. Kobe for 49, Luke for... 18? Lamar for, wait, Lamar had 4?

Lamar needs to learn how to handle his fouls like Kobe does, this was just as much his fault as it was the ref's fault. Own it Lamar. On the other hand it allowed our boy Luke to go out and have the game we've been waiting ALL FUCKING SEASON for him to have.

It's quite refreshing to know that we can beat a team in a combination of different ways, it seems like no matter who we bring in the game, no matter who's hot and who's not we can put it away. That comes in great handy in a best of series where you can keep your opponent guessing and adjusting.

Teh internets agree that the boys need to continue to sloooooooooow the tempo down. It's too fast, don't play like Denver, especially IN Denver. Why do they have a good home floor record? They run the shit out of the other teams to get them winded in the altitude and then just play mediocre ball, even a scientist could see that. Wait...

Best comment generated by this game:

I never saw a bigger bunch of babies than the Nuggets in these past two games. They crumble under the smallest amounts of pressure. I bet in the off-season (coming soon in two more games) they all make a pact to get "I hate refs and the Lakers" tattoos to match. Then they can have a nice group cry and a Technical Foul party where they take turns throwing each other out of the room. Sweet.

Comment by The Fanalyst at Forum Blue And Gold
Good game mention: Luuuuuuuuuuke! Keep.it.up.

Feel better Ronny, and come back!!

And your video for the day

Game 1, Round 1, Lakers-Nuggets

2008-04-22T08:44:00.000-07:00

SUNDAY NIGHT WHITES!
No better way to start the playoffs, they look so polished :)

Things that apparently happened before the game:
The Nugget's bus caught on fire.

Coby's dad played football.

We kind of love how all of ABC's attention is on the Nuggets, silently implying that they are trying to get them some playoff coverage now since they don't really plan on having any time to do it later in the playoff season. That's fine, we'll take that.

Things that apparently happened during the game:
Denver played defense - just kidding!

Derek took matters into his own hands trying to do what the bus couldn't do... no specific harm Derek... no specific harm.

Errbody up in thurr got some fouls. Including a bunch of Technicals and a Flagrant 1.

Speaking of the flagrant 1 - what is it exactly that happens when the defender jumps into the air, yanks the offensive player (Luke Walton at that) down and then proceeds to eat more floor than everyone in the rest of the game combined? We may be new to basketball but that's got to be some sort of first.

Ejection!

Things that really shouldn't have happened during the game but apparently happened anyway:
Chanting D-U-I
I mean really? Have we become Utah Jazz fans? Have we become Denver Nugget fans? L.A and surrounding areas needs to be classier than this. Color us disappointed.

This

PB&J's interview. Have They not learned that he's not saying anything at all?

Things that need to happen next time:
Kobe playing basketball more like a professional athlete and less like the 45 year old guy at the gym who likes to "ball" with the "young cats". Anytime you're referring to your opponents as "young cats" and insist that you're going to "teach them how it's done" you're probably just too old to be doing such things and about to get embarrassed. We're not saying... we're just sayin.

Good game mentions (like a virtual pat on the ass):
We gusta Pau, Luke Walton (finally), & L. Odom

Play of the game:
Somewhere around 8:00 in the first when Kobe passes to Luke who immediately gives it out to Lamar who doesn't think he's got it so he sends it sailing over to Pau who puts it home! We could watch that replay aaaaaaaaaaall day long.

Pound-for-pound:
This isn't the East Coast playoffs, the Nuggets might not be amazingly brilliant but remind yourself of how many games separate them from the Lakers and then think about it again, solid game.

End Of The Year Awards

2008-04-17T12:06:00.001-07:00

Yep, we got some to give out as well. We've been vacationing from our in-game blogging because... well, because we're lazy, and because we started watching the games dru... or um, while surrounded by quality people who deserve our attention more so than the computer did. Yeah... that's it!
Looking around the internet it's hard to swallow some of the awards being doled out. We're submitting our votes for all of the standards, but what about the rest of the team? Even our own Laker website only gives out standard awards. Some people on the roster get left out and don't get any awards at all. That ain't right! We have a little something for everyone. In alphabetical order:

Ariza, Trevor - The Trev
What a great year for him huh? Move back home to LA, posterize Grant Hill, go on vacation. Well, vacation also included a broken foot, but sometimes you make sacrifices. Trevor walks away with the Best Poster Ever In The History Ever.com. His thank you speech should begin with a shout out to Grant.

Bryant, Kobe - Daddy 4 MVP!, KB24, Mamba
Everyone wants to make him the MVP, can we just give him the Most Adorable NBA Kids award? And then can we babysit? No, seriously... call us.

Bynum, Andrew - Drew, Drew-Drew, Big Drew
We don't even want to talk about this. *sigh* Most Improved Before We Were Forced To Cry While Watching You Get Carried Off Of The Court award. We were there, you have no idea how terrifying it was to watch that and not have any idea what happened after he left. Get well soon!

Farmar, Jordan - J. Farm, Farm Life, Jordy, Hero
One reason is yoga, the other speaks for itself, 2 awards combined into one. Best Use Of The Off-season For Training & Supporting Actor In A Reality Mini-series Called Life With Luke award.

Fisher, Derek - D. Fish
The one, the only. This man was our savior at the beginning of the season. That seems to be getting over looked at the season wears on. Not by us, Mr. Winner of the Best Old Dude On The Team award.

Gasol, Pau - Pau Pow Popozao, The Spaniard
Our knight in Spanish armor. Nobody expected him to pick up the triangle quite as fast as he did. Before him, nobody even expected anything worth writing home about regarding the franchise and it's playoff destiny. Mr. Gasol is the first ever recipient of the award named after himself (which in all fairness could have gone to Shaq or Jason Kidd had they stepped it up after their trades, but they did not) the Me Gusta Pau award. This one is kind of complicated, basically Jason Kidd had done something remarkable once he got back to the Mavs Mark Cuban could have this award in honor of Pau starting the domino effect in the Western Conference, but nobody seemed to trump the acquisition of Pau. All that hurried trading for nothing.

Mbenga, Didier (you probably think we don't know the alphabet but his last name is actually Ilguna-Mbenga which also probably doesn't fit on his jersey, not that he goes by his name anyway...) - DJ, Mbenga the Mblocker
The Most Fun With A Last Name As It Relates To Game Time Commentary award. One might get Mblocked by Mbenga, may need to get the Mball to Mbenga or e.t.c. He hasn't had much PT and almost didn't come back after his initial 10 days, but he comes in and brings it home when we absolutely need it. Stay tuned for the playoffs.

Karl, Coby - George's son
The franchise's baby brother. Everybody loves them some Coby Karl, that's why we get sad when he goes to the Defenders, it's no fun being in the 4th quarter of a blow out with Karl not suited up. Zero fun. The Best Rookie Hazing Incident Caught On Film award. "I'm Coby Karl, I'm George's son!" Never.Gets.Old. We know you're thinking this should go to Lamar but we got something else for him and you mean to tell us you don't say that every time Coby gets off the bench?

Mihm, Chris - Mihms! (MIMS)
This is why he's hot... waaaaaaaait a minute... since he spent the better part of this and the all part of last season behind the bench in a nice suit we can't really say he's hot. We can however give him the Most Wins Of The "Hey there's that guy!" award. An award within an award!! This may have been the first season this award was even given out, but nobody could have predicted this many repeat wins for Chris, nobody.

Newble, Ira - Newb (because he is)
Not that we have anything at all against him but he is taking home the I Guess We Don't Need You After All But You're Free To Hang Around If You Wanna award. We're sure there was a reason they signed him at the last minute but, we just can't see it. Better safe than sorry though.

Odom, Lamar - LO (pronounced Ello) L. Odom (only enunciated with the Turiaf accent)
The Just Don't Count On Me Too Much award. If we need to not depend on him to be dependable to get some good numbers out of him on a consistent basis, then goddammit that's what we're gonna do! Get it Lamar!

Radmanovic, Vladimir - VladRad, Radman, Vladi
Enough rhyming with his name, this man is either on the court on fire, on the court not on fire, or on the injured list - so basically he's like every other player in the league. Hmmm. We'll have to give him the If I Weren't Playing For The Lakers You Wouldn't Even Know My Name award.

Turiaf, Ronny - He needs no nickname, he is Ronny Turiaf
The love of our life. Where has he been all this time? We could never get enough of watching him play even if he does earn himself the Please Just Don't Foul Out Tonight award. We like watching the game while holding our breath.

Vujacic, Sasha - The Machine
Excellent play, thanks for a great season buddy. We still can't get over your hair though, that's why we're gonna have to give you the We Really Like Your Headband award. No really, the silver one was our absolute favorite.

Walton, Luke - Luuuuuuuuuuke
Remember back when LL rocked the Kangol hat? We do, apparently Life with Luke does as well. Just sayin'. Either way he gets the coveted Get.It.Together award. Seriously darling, get it together. We don't want to say he's like our drunk uncle who ran into and knocked over the Christmas tree last year while attempting to "help", but... to quote a friend of ours "He's like the Santa Clause of Awful".

We would give awards to the execs and coaches... maybe next week? Stay tuned for the playoffs. No in game blogging because that takes 2 hands and then how would we drink, but there'll be fun stuff none-the-less.

Mambaaaaaaaaaa ooooooooooo

2008-03-27T20:32:00.000-07:00

Best part:
Mitch to Chris on the phone,
"Will you let Gasol go?"
"For Kwame? Nooooooo, we will not let him go!"
Let him gooooo!
"We will not let him go!"
"For draft picks?"
"Nooooooo!"
Let him go!
"And point guards?"
"Nooooooo!"
Let him go!
"How 'bout for Gasol? Give us Pau Gasol"

Runner up:
I see Phil Jackson staring gently at his hand
Jeanie Buss, Jeanie Buss can you do the fandango
Sexual frustration could threaten Laker nation
Shaq
Is an old man, is an old man, is an old man, is an old man, is an old man and he's slow

Los Lakers vs. Warriors

2008-03-23T19:11:00.000-07:00

A word before the game:
Happy Easter! It's Sunday Night Whites, but not just ANY SNW, it's Noche Latino which means Los Lakers! There's still a lot of bracket madness going on so we haven't even been paying attention to the Lakers enough to have any intelligent pregame conversation about them. Pau isn't playing still :(

Tip Off
Radman, Turiaf (we've perfected saying his name the way he does), Bryant, Fisher, L. Odom

1st Quarter
Well the good news is that we have no idea what happened during the first quarter thanks to the DVR crapping out even though we've only had this one for 1 week (7 days as of today) thanks DirecTv. If you're new around here, we HATE DirecTv even more than we hate USC but there really aren't many options so we have to sit idly by and hate them, crossing our fingers hoping that we get to actually watch the TV we pay for whether it works or not.

2nd Quarter
5:59 Oh welcome back to the TV you're paying for!

4:46 Sasha takes a "I have nothing better to do tonight than blow the game" shot. What do you know, he misses, but then he hustles back so are we mad or not?

4:39 Damn, Luke is sweaty.

3:41 Oh there goes DirecTV again. You know what we didn't want to see this game anyway.

Okay so we've gone to a streaming site in order to watch now because this is bullshit!

2:49 & 2:35 Luke passes to Golden Statesmen... there really should be some sort of class they take where they learn the difference between "my team and the other team".

2:33 Please hit yourself in the face with the ball a few more times Mr. Walton, it might help you see colors better.

2:10 Since we're down by so much Kobe decides to beat the shit out of whoever has the ball so they can have some free throws.

1:03 This is where the downfall starts. Sasha gets nothing from the corner, then Lamar gets stripped by Davis and falls on his ass. Warriors get it done then we're back to the Laker's end of the floor where Kobe misses it, then Derek misses is (or did Derek miss it first?), then someone else misses it before the buzzer. Pretty sure the goal of the game is to put the ball inside of the hole. If the NBA was giving away points for hitting the rim we'd have kicked the shit out of the Warriors in this past minute, but they don't.

Half Time
We'd like to see DirecTv get it's act together so we can watch the rest of the game without squinting at the stream on the computer, but that's probably asking for too much isn't it?

3rd Quarter
11:14 Los Ronny needs to make both of his freethrows because his team is losing still.

10:10 Kobe to Ronny for the zip.

9:37 Have these guys had too much Easter ham? Why not let Karl, Newble and the injureds play instead?

9:11 It's going to be a long night for Kobe and the gang.

7:14 We're not even sure how Derek ended up twirling around on the floor but at least Kobe made the shot.

Kobe has put on his "fuck that" face and you can mark our words from here on out he's going to make everyone on the floor hate their own lives.

5:13 Radman with a Walton shot - nowhere near the basket just the way we like it!

3:30 Coach Nellie looks stressed.

3:16 "A couple of poor decisions" doesn't even begin to describe what Luke did in the first half.

2:55 Kinda like how he laid on the floor while the rest of his team ran to the other side.

2:34 Fisher's got HOPS!!! And nobody was there to stop 'em.

Get there Lakers.

Did Luke just block that?

1:27 Fisher with another of his rainbow shots, love the arc on his shots. Love.

48.3 Lamar's pass to Kobe looked like it wasn't going to work but damn if it didn't.

87-81 Warriors

4th Quarter
9:35 If Jordan is going to senselessly foul people can he at least get his hair cut?

Kobe? Wide open? We'll take it!

7:45 Sasha needs to make shots.

6:48 Kobe takes it, runs it, passes to himself behind his back, spins and passes behind someone elses back to Ronny who gets the 2 and 1. AND TIES IT!

We just seriously yelped. When basketball gets exciting...

3:21 Thank god L. Odom was there to tap in Luke's usual non-make. It's anybodies game at this point.

56.4 1 point game?

We didn't foul them because it's more fun to risk losing.

8.1 The Warriors' little celebratory bullshit is really annoying. They kind of remind us of gangsters at a drive by.

115-111 Warriors

Final Comments
I mean... they had a pretty valiant come back, but the better question is, "Why were we in a position to need to come back?" Think about that Los Lakers.

Due to the lack of solid TV service we're not prepared to give out a bunch of awards but we're certainly giving out the
Player of the Night Award: Derek Fisher for his pretty shots that brought us back from the dead in the 3rd Quarter! And because we still aren't able to release our comments from the Utah game and we need to shout him out for "using his daughters' illness as a convenience"

Lakers vs. Sonics

2008-03-21T19:15:00.000-07:00

A word before the game:
I mean... our blog from last night's game is so offensively anti-Walton we had to have a 3rd party come in and water it down before we can post it to the public. No, seriously. It's pretty bad. Not to mention our love fest for the Utah fans We'll try to hold it together tonight.
There's a lot of bracket madness going on, as was expected, so we just want to give a shout out to whoever the hell kicked the shit out of USC. We hate (understatement) all things USC. Well done sirs, well done.

Tip Off
The recent "usual"

1st Quarter
10:41 We're up by 4, in fact it's 4-0 at the top of the game and Lamar et al are boxing people in the corner and racking up fouls. It's gonna be one of those kind of nights is it?

6:53 Good thing we've got the #8 free throw shooter in the league to brick 'em for us. coughDerekFishercough. Excuse my cold.

Trevor looks quite nice in his suit.

Wow, we've never fallen asleep this early in the game, but Lamar's "persuing perfection" intro was worse than an overdose. Perfection isn't much when it's 3 shots. Just sayin'.

3:35 Ronny is our new hero, Farm life pretty much died a few weeks ago.

2:55 "Don't forget about Chris Mihm"? Most bandwagon fans don't even know who he is.

32.0 Easy with the taunting Kobe, last night's ended in Utah class acts.

34-21 Lakers

2nd Quarter
We're down with the JC and everything but Jesus Christ who let Life With Walton off the bench?

11:24 Durant might get Mbeat up by Mbenga after the game after that stare down.

10:36 Maybe it's because of his lack of haircut, but Jordan forgets the rules of basketball include a 3 second violation.

Could Sasha have better hair than us?

6:45 Luke for nothing!

6:13 Everybody on the floor. Holla!

We clearly have a short set of attention spans because we stopped paying attention long ago to concentrate on Webmd's diagnosis or lack of. Maybe the second half will excite us?

Half Time
3rd Quarter

Nope, second half is just as boring, also, Webmd says that I'm going to die soon so we're shutting down early to watch our last game together. Maybe, if I'm lucky, I'll make it to Noche Latina to see Los Lakers! Es todo! We're predicting win. Maybe we'll re-watch the game on the DVR tomorrow and at least leave some final comments.
4th Quarter
Final Comments

KBB Day

2008-03-11T18:33:00.000-07:00

That's right, it's Kobe Bryant blog day. We couldn't be more thrilled, we even had a bunch of witty stuff to type up... and then we ran out of time and the time change was still making us hate our lives so instead, we had a moment of silence to respect the day and just wanted to say:

Happy Kobe Bryant Blog Day!

Lakers vs. Mavericks

2008-03-02T12:36:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
National television. Delayed start of the game or simply missing the beginning? Time to start a new winning streak, and not let the announcers get on our nerves. Let's see if the Kidd is worth anything. Ready, set, go!

Tip Off
Bryant, Fisher, Gasol, Odom, Walton
Damn, we've missed those Sunday Night (afternoon?) Whites!

1st Quarter
10:53 Fisher still not hot.

9:53 STEAL!

9:39 How is that a jump ball? Pretty sure Luke had it on lockdown.

7:44 Lamar... It's a FREEthrow, take it!

If Luke can't take it away, Derek will. Good enough for us.

We're for Lakers all the way, but the Mavs would be wise to not foul Fish in the act of shooting, haven't the noticed he can't sink em?

3:49 Dresswatch: #4

1:53 That's what we need to see!!!

Standing ovation in the first quarter? This could be epic.

1:11 J. FARM! Remember how this is only his sophomore season? Is that real?

50.0 NBA refs, making games less enjoyable since 1983

29 -23 Lakers

2nd Quarter
11:22 We're gonna start issuing out fines for freethrows missed, since they obviously don't appreciate the meaning of the word free.

9:39 The rebound merry-go-round. Somebody stop this ride we wanna get off!!!

Rather surprising fact: Violet Palmer hasn't pissed us off yet.

7:21 Damn... get back on the court man. Vujacic for the make!

6:11 Looks like the throw it in and run out of bounds is gonna be his new shot.

Here's the problem with national TV... they have to keep talking about the same stuff that happened months ago...

5:23 Everybody is on their feet again. =)

4:22 DAMN! That was a straight shot to the eye! Flagrant!!

MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP MVP
MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS MAKE BOTH SHOTS

2:20 Is that the first one for Fisher in like 9738473908 games?

1:09 Luuuuuuuuuke

2.2 Is Kobe really working for the Technical foul limit?
"Come on muh'fuckah" <-- yeah, we heard you.

50-47 Lakers

Half Time
Maintain focus. This game is too close for the 3rd Quarter collapse gentlemen.
Kinda boring without Bill Walton in studio running his mouth. Get well Bill!

3rd Quarter
11:10 Violet Palmer is not VERY GOOD. Thanks.

Luke Walton lines up the nothing.

8:something White boy!!

6:06 Arena wide argument time.

ABC is doing an injury round up. What happened to That Guy? You know... the undisputed winner of the "Hey, there's that guy" award... Chris Mihm.

3:19 Okay, we're just as mad as Kobe at this point. Where's Violet Palmer with her world class officiating? Huh?

2:35 Emotions run high this afternoon. "Fuck that!" - L. Odom.

This ain't the NFL

Lamar is about to blow a fuse.

1:11 Kidd just got OWNED by Ronny.

6 of 22?
68-65

4th Quarter
Time to bring it home gents.

8:14 Oh shit! Jordan and Jason Terry... Jordan is okay thankfully, but we still hat to see other players get hurt.

7:58 Oh snap, look who's officially been voted out of his injury related slump.

There goes your boy! (Not lookin' too happy over there on the bench)

6:38 It's Kobe show time.
Holla Holla

6:08 Always count on Pau... always.

Crowd is at full throat, so are we.

4:13 J. Farm saves it and gives it Kobe, Kobe goes to WORK.

Too much action to type.

2:08 Bullshit

28.5 kdajfdkajkljelkjoi3987u3hfdkafuajfasfjoi

6.9 wHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

6.1 MVP

2.0 We're going to OT, believe it.

93?

OT1
Sasha!

Kobe!

Phil's out of his chair, let's get it done boys.

Another rebound merry-go-round.

Are they jersey-poppin' at each other on the freethrow setup? Haha, brilliant.

IF THEY JUST STAT CURSED HIM, WE ARE GOING TO KILL

He did NOT just miss that?
108-104

Final Comments
Hoooooly shit was that a game?

We're quite speechless right now. Who can we award for what?
Luke for being much improved but then it's canceled out by the foul out.
Everybody gets Player of the Night.

Lakers vs. Heat

2008-02-28T21:26:00.000-08:00

We're not even blogging tonight because we're busy, but, we wanted to give a shout out to our combined players of the night: Kobe Bryant (over the head) --> Luke Walton (behind the back) --> Lamar Odom (for the dunk). Midway through the 3rd. Get There!

These boys played some ill ball tonight. Simply sick!

Top of the Western Conference what?

Lakers vs. Blazers

2008-02-26T19:24:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
We've been gone for a minute, now we're back for the jump off...
Or something like that, but the real news here is that we've been winning!!!!

Tip Off
Bryant, Gasol, Odom, Fisher, Walton (don't let us down darlin')
Who is that we see boxing on the bench?

1st Quarter
11:14 Luuuuuuuke!

9:11 Boys are playing solid so far.

8:03 Don't make Kobe mad!

7:00 After a Walton sandwich during offense Luke must learn to pull up his pants, shorts, whatever.

5:52 Kobe's not hot.

4:22 Thas what ahm talkin' 'bout baby! (Please find an interview of Ronny saying this, it's our favorite thing to hear him say.)

It's pretty early yet but we'd like to see that score even up just a touch.

2:05 NO PUSHING!

1:57 Darling Luke?

We can't even be bothered to post the score because it's so so sad.

2nd Quarter
10:19 They need to put that Farmar catch/drop in in one of those NBA=Amazing commercials.

9:59 T-t-t-turiaf.

9:14 What a foul night.

9:09 What the hell?

7:44 That was the most painful thing in Laker history we've ever had to watch. 4 back to back shot clocks for the other team? Rebound, look it up Lakers.

5:57 PAU FOR THE "TAKE THAT!"

5:29 Put the kids to bed, Ronny and Sasha just turned this game into an adult show, nasty.

Outlaw? What an awesome name to have... is he married?

3:23 Shirtwatch: Walton. That thing is looking like a dress at this point sir.

Greg Oden looks OLD.

51-44 Them guys

Half Time
Were we confused tonight? This is a real game, it's not just for practice. We started coming back, made it back (Thanks Jordy), and then started going the other way. No more U Turns thanks... wait, one more and then that's it. Heres hoping the second half of this game doesn't suck because that would suck. We had something else to say but we forgot what it was. If anybody remembers please let us know.
Oh, right, did Kobe just tell Luke that it wasn't his fault he missed that last shot at the buzzer? It doesn't matter either way but we were just wondering, that's what we do.

3rd Quarter
Did Pau just wink at us?

11:38 We almost put that one down =/

11:17 Oh no, Lamar.

7:20 It's like nobody wants the ball. Hot potato.

It's best not to watch the 3rd quarter collapse too closely.

4:05 Somebody tell me how it is that Kobe just got the foul?

35.5 MVP

RONNY

67-65 Blazers

4th Quarter
11:49 Luke has the defeated look on his face. That's not good.

8:40 Sasha we saw you set your feet, what happened?

Farmar, Jordan: Awesome.

4:00 It's raining celebration.

3:05 What the hell? Emotional game much?

It's kinda funny watching the game with confetti falling in the foreground.

2:01 "Woooooo, wooooo". Kobe takes the foul with a Ronny-like fervor.

96-83 9 in a row baby!

Final Comments
We pulled it off in the end. Celebrating early thanks to Staples Center's in ability to keep the confetti under control.

The One Of Us Has A Headache And Doesn't Feel Like Giving Out Awards award: Silly Bitch. Sorry, I want nothing more than to go to sleep.

Our player of the night: Jordan Farmar. He single handedly brought us back into the game. Matching his career high, and it's hard to believe this is only his second year in the association. We love you Jordy. We want to live the Farm life.

2008-02-26T19:11:00.001-08:00

We simply couldn't help but to share. Visit www.ryanparkersongs.com for lyrics, if you can stop giggling long enough!

Lakers @ Suns

2008-02-20T17:19:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
Shaq < Kobe

Tip Off
Bryant, Fisher, Gasol, Odom, Radmonovich.
Not to contribute to the hype, but watching them do the obligatory "what up bro" thing before ball toss was kinda awesome.

1st Quarter
10:05 Shaq down! This is going to be a very nervous game...

7:35 That was almost a smooth one... almost but it's early. Wake up boys.

7:10 Quick, everybody yell like Coach.

BLOCKED

We're getting rather tired of talking about the pinky. Reporters don't need to have their fingers taped to prove the point.

3:26 Kobe vs. The Suns, literally.

1:55 This is not DJ's fault. Just keep watching.

Jordan looks taller, did he get his knees done?

1.8 Kobe Bryant fo dat azz! (" for that ass" for those who don't read street)

32-29 Llllllllllllllakers!

2nd Quarter
11:10 THE MACHINE
Note for the announcing staff: Sasha got over being an 11am shooter a bit earlier this season, let's stop talkng about it now mmmkay?

10:04 J. Farm from Walton. Good to see these two back from their great depressions.

Perhaps we only meant Jordan came back from his great depression?

Snooze fest

4:08 And we haven't been paying attention really because they won't stop talking about Shaq.

3:38 Shaq makin' those free throws just like always (which means he missed them).

1:59 Shirtwatch: Lamar. It's half in sideways and half out. ??

44.9 KOBE BRYANT puts Phoenix to shame.

39.9 And Nash for the miss, makes his little pre-free throw ritual look silly.

Sasha??? Oh... okay nevermind.

65-57 Lakers

Half Time
Pretty good job so far. We cannot let the 3rd Quarter Collapse grab us by the balls and hang us up. We are 2 quarters away from sweeping the series and making them eat our dust, I think they know this. Get it done. Get it done. Hear that? That's the sound of Bill Walton bustin' Shaq out on his free throws.
4, 857. Let's see, he's been in the league for 16 years? We don't know math much but that's like 303.56 per season. Which brings it down to somewhere around 4 per game if you believe that he's played in 82 games in each of his 16 years. If you believe that, that's a good stat. If you believe that.

3rd Quarter
Dear announcers: You may have to remind yourself that it's going to take time to see what Shaq can do but while you're doing that, we're spanking your precious precious Suns and remembering that one time when Pau played his first game with us and kicked the shit out of the Nets... we had to remind ourselves of that.

8:07 How much time are we going to give Grant Hill to set up for the 3?

6:36 Derek would be advised to watch his tone while talking to refs who make poor decisions.

5:00 Passed to Jackson, Phil... he doesn't play anymore so that's no good y'all.

Is it French or Italian, perhaps Fritalian?

4:11 Lamar should not act like a child because he misses easy shots. Someone should teach Phoenix fans how to properly give an MVP chant, they mostly suck at it. Good shot anyway Stevie.

1:24 Best jump ball ever in the history of ever.com, taking down the ref is always awesome.

95-91 Thanks to Pau!

4th Quarter
8:09 Oh shit. Give him a T, come on... it's no fun if the homies can't have none.

7:26 Somehow we knew it was going to go down like this, now we have to hold our breath. Tied.

6:18 Hmmm

6:03 Kobe. Like Nash. Only better.

3:58 Bell down! We're actually worried... he's kinda cute.

Oh shit... Shaq's elbow pretty much knocked him unconscious. Nooooo bueno.

3:14 Why do these guys need the jump ball situation explained to them every single time?

1:30 Shaq's been spending a lot of time on the ground tonight. Nice somersault though.

1:15 What's wrong D'antoni? Too much Laker momentum for you?

47.2 Shaq on the floor again.

14.3 The immediate foul is such a thing of desperation. We sincerely hope the Suns fans in attendance and not are enjoying this spanking.

2.6 This game is over. Congratulations Phoenix Suns, you suck. Even with Shaqie poo.

130-124 See above

Final Comments
The Ha Ha award of the night: Phoenix Suns, Phoenix Suns fans, Phoenix Suns "fans" who "go to the game" and post on myspace from their sidekicks about how they are at the game and love Steve Nash, can all share this one, no explanation needed right?

The Basketball Is Played Standing Up award of the night: Shaq. We should have taken shots each time the hit the floor.

The We Really Hope He's Okay award of the night: Raja Bell. Ouch!

Our Player of the Night award: Lamar Odom. Now that nobody is looking at him wondering what the matter could be, he's suddenly having the year of his life. Don't think we haven't been recognizing that. L.Odom! (say it with Ronny's accent for full effect)

Lakers vs. Hawks

2008-02-19T16:10:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
It has been a loooooooooooong time since the boys have donned the Championship Gold uniforms, and damn it must feel good to finally get Pau in one! We wanted to be at Pau's welcome to LA Party but alas, the blogging duties call... or something like that. While you were sleeping, or avoiding the Grammy's or whatever - Luke decided to suck, Kwame and Javaris packed their bags, Kobe broked himself, Shaq took a long flight west and the world became a better place. At least one of those statements is not true.

Tip Off
Welcome to the second half of the season: The White Stripes covering Patti Page's "Conquest" (yes we're music buff's) as Pau's theme? Brilliant!
Kobe, Derek, Lamar, Pau, Vladimir

1st Quarter
Pau looks like sex in that home uniform.

10:44 Courtesy points!

10:28 Watching refs run - screaming we presume - away from the ball is the best.

9:27 Pau just dropped it off... me gusta Pau!

Why are we booing Bibby? I mean, what did he honestly do to us?

3:52 Derek down!

2:45 "When he punches that dance ticket... you'd better watch out" well said, remember how Kobe's finger is like broken?

Jordan with the steal!!!!

32 - 14 The Pau Gasol's

2nd Quarter
11:43 Luke nutmegs himself for what would have been an awesome awesome play, but Ronny doesn't get the finish.

10:25 Did Luke decide to recover from his loserville hangover during th break?

9:25 Pretty sure Sasha didn't even catch that one before he shot it.

"40-19 at the 8:50 mark of the sexin'... second."

8:08 Deeeeeeelaaaaaayed faaaaaaalllling.

7:20 JORDAN FARMAR

6:04 Walton just got excited. Looks like he's back! Phew (honestly we were about to give him the Hey there's that guy award tonight)

4:35 You guys can't let Kobe get away with that... well, I guess yes, yes you can, and thank you!

2:16 Welcome to the Lake show, these boys are tearin' it up!

1:02 Derek Fisher please get up...

Okay, he's okay, just being dramatic from what we can tell.

"Mike Woodson, wanna get away?" Even these guys are on it tonight!

73-37 Los Angeles

Half Time
Could that score even be real? Atlanta apparently got stuck in New Orleans, get that? Maybe they forgot to watch tapes? We expected them to be on Mike Bibby high tonight like we were when Pau arrived but, guess not? The dinner table is set, all we have to do is eat our vegetables in order to get dessert.

3rd Quarter
Holy monkey, we just checked and yes, that's the correct score.

9:18 Lamar? Radman? Hello?

7:06 L. Odom

5:08 HaHa!

4:43 KOBE BRYANT (that smile says it all)

Kobe can hit the showers now.

97-69 Smells like Champeenship Gold to us

4th Quarter
11:24 RONNY TURIAF

Can we get some Son of Karl action please?

Pau?

"Oh shit fuck" we can hear you...

5:35 Mbenga with the hustle play. We like him. Quite a bit.

2:43 I'm Coby Karl, I'm George's son! Also the second Laker (and maybe person?) to play a double header. D-Fender by day, Laker by night!

47.3 Karl with an And 1!

122 -93 Get There!

Final Comments
The "Where'd they go?" award of the night: Chris Mihm, Andrew Bynum, and Trevor Ariza get to share, we always get shots of them in their dresses but it's almost as if they weren't there tonight... oh wait...

The Broken Finger? award of the night: Kobe Bryant

The Best Name To Chant award of the night: Kobe/Coby

The It's Gotta Be Fun To Be That Guy award of the night: Coby Karl & Pau Gasol tie for this one as well.

Our Player of the night: Pau Ga-freakin-sol! We couldn't have asked for a better performance from his first home game. Get there with me Laker fans!

Lakers @ Hawks

2008-02-06T18:27:00.000-08:00

This should be an interesting game, unlike the game yesterday. It could go either way, Kobe with the finger thing, Pau, the back to back...

This game is halfway over and Kobe's been standing around watching much the way his team used to watch him.

Luke seems to be having a good night. Which is good.

Not much commentary from us tonight because... well, because we are actually paying attention to the game instead of talking about uniforms and hairstyles.

The second unit gets a spanking from PB&J (well, Luke did), and then they go out and turn it around, but then the first unit comes in and uh... drops the ball. Literally.

Sasha needs one of those fancy adding machines, so he can know how many points he needs to score. Poor guy. But that's okay, maybe next time.

Me gustas Pau!

Our player of the night: Luke Walton for finally having a pretty okay night. It might seem odd to reward mediocrity with a POTN but, he has the highest +/- and we've been waiting for quite some time for him to not suck.

Lakers @ Nets

2008-02-05T16:46:00.000-08:00

Popozao time... Pau is starting! Tonight is already shaping up to be magical. The San Diego roommates get to play together...

Or maybe not because 24 (R. Jeff) just went down at the top of the 1st and 4 (Luke) is still on the bench. At least they got to hug before the game right?

Damn it's heard not to smile while watching this. So often new players from a trade are scrutinied heavily during their first game with the team but Pau is in a spot where he can do no wrong. He's even picked up the Triangle pretty well for having had 1.5 practices at it.

Even over on the bench nursing 2 fouls, Pau makes us smile. Why are they making us watch these people running around the court, let's just watch what Pau does.

Strahan!!!! He also, can do absolutely no wrong right now. In fact, Mr. Strahan, will you marry us?

Kobe's finger = :(
Nothing worse than watching one of your players making that face while being attended to by the athletic trainer... or actually, making that face any time.

We can't recall if it's just because he hasn't had enough people chillin' on the bench or if it's because he's Phil Jackson and doesn't feel like it but there hasn't been a lot of substitution on the Lakers roster this year. There has been a lot of substitution tonight.

Derek Fisher, we understand he's amazing tonight, but we've only got eyes for Pau Pow. We looked away for a second and we see Luke looking scrawny, is he not eating? See, that's why we need to continue with Pau watch 2008. Well, I guess he ate enough to alley oop to Kobe, good deal Walton, just don't go all manorexic on us.
Manorexia is getting physical tonight.

3:46 in the fourth: VIVA PAU! Pretty sure that's what everyone in our favorite colors just said during their jumping, chest bumping, screaming, smiling fit of joy. Kobe's dancing. Could this night get any better?

1:05: Isn't it time for Coby Karl to play? Gotta love the Net's cheering for Kobe like that while he walks off the floor.

Post game interview with Kobe: Wow. We don't think we've ever seen him this happy. EVER. When asked if it felt good to score only 6 points and still get a victory? "You have NO idea... there is a God". We could marry this Kobe Bryant. Tears of joy!

Our Player of the Night: Pau Ga-fuckin-sol! We don't even need an explanation, anyone who can make Kobe that excited is a deity in our book.

Your Daily Funny

2008-02-04T21:51:00.000-08:00

We do love Kobe, but that doesn't make Kobe's Shot any less hysterical.

Lyrics for you if you want them:

This is Kobe's shot
This is Kobe's shot
This one's his
That one's his
This is Kobe's shot

You can shoot if you're Bryant
You can't if you're not
Cause, this one's his, that one's his, this is Kobe's shot

See Kobe's really hott
But the Lakers are so whack
That Kobe only passes
To guys who pass it back
He hasn't won a thing since the Lakers traded Shaq
You try to block his shot and he'll give your face a smack

When Kobe's in the zone
No one can slow him down
Except for young girls
That he meets from out of town
The Lakers try to mack
But if she's really hott
Then Kobe steps in and says, "This is Kobe's shot!"

Lakers @ Wizards

2008-02-03T08:58:00.000-08:00

No Pau yet. No fault of Pau's, he did what he was supposed to do. Nope, this is Kwame's fault. Get there Kwame Brown, get there, we want to Pau, Pow, Popozao!

We're kind of surprised that the NFL hasn't purchased the rights to the entire day and forbid any other sport from doing anything at all. We don't give a rat's hind legs about the Superbowl other than, if the Patriots lose it's going to be a good 2008 for everyone!

Not in love with Luke grabbing his hip after 2 minutes of play. But he's okay... they even brought him in for his go-to inbounding with 2.3 left in the half. Kobe doesn't even care that he inbounded it out of bounds on the opposite end of the floor. Good team camaraderie.

The announcers are talking about something we were talking about a few days ago: the multi-lingual Lakers roster. Wonder how many languages are spoken between them. One of these days we'll have to do a comparison chart, perhaps pie will help us figure out which is the most popular - we're thinking French, but that's just a guess. And what language do they use in the locker room? All very serious questions that need answers.

Fun Fact: The Lakers, right now, are home to 3 of the 6 sons of the father-son combos to ever play in the NBA. We're not completely sure but they may be the only 3 actually playing right now throughout the league. That's actually kinda cute. Son of Bryant, Son of Walton, Son of Karl.

You can also take those 3 sons and put them on the floor with Bynum, Farmar, Turiaf or Vujacic and you'd have a floor made up of people who've never played for another team in the NBA. 7 of the 12 kids on this team. Laker family.

Player of the morning/afternoon (depending on which coast you're on): Sasha Vujacic. Come on, this guy isn't called The Machine for nothing, it's time he gets his propers.

Son of Walton

2008-02-03T02:40:00.000-08:00

A blog of quotes that are just as messed up as hilarious. There's some truth and some frustration. We stand in the middle of it all, we love Luke but some people think he doesn't even deserve to be called by his name anymore.

Anyway, because of a first half injury to Son of Walton (vaginal inflammation?), the Lakers were forced to use a lineup that I've been suggesting for days. This is what I said on Monday:

Simple solution to Son of Walton crapfest: Shift Kobe to the 3 and start a backcourt of D-Fish and (heavy sigh) Sasha Vujacic. I can’t believe I wrote that, but Vujacic is a lot better offensively this year and his defense gets under the opposition’s skin. And Kobe at the three spot is a ton better than Son of Walton.

Well, son of Walton's case of sudden vaginal inflammation caused Jackson to make the change tonight and hopefully this'll shed some light on the Zenmaster. Until Bynum and Trevor Ariza return, the Lakers best chance is Kobe at the three, facilitating, passing and attacking from the post and sides of the court.

Son of Walton sucks. It’s gotten so bad that the Lakers post game show is praising Luke Walton when he plays semi-decentlyin spurts. After the game, people were cracking on him just a little (somehow this guy is immune to blatant criticism from Lakers Nation) and the host Matt "Money" Smith was like, “Well… the fist half was below average, but I felt he had a few good moments in the second half, so you can’t blame the loss on him.” Why the pass from Laker fans? When did Luke Walton become the retarded kid in third grade that we awkwardly put up with during reading sessions? People... it’s called a contract year! He got his big contract and now he’s fat, injured and lazy.

Melo was on fire at that point, feasting off the dead carcass known as Luke Walton (who's 3 more shitty games from losing the rights to the last name of Walton)

Top five players stealing money in 2007-08:

1. Luke Walton
2. Luke Walton
3. Luke Walton
4. Luke Walton
5. Luke Walton

Screw the NBA pedigree, screw the "high basketball I.Q." and screw the fact that he's coming off an injury (an excuse used by the Lakers postgame radio show), Luke Walton is flat out stealing money from the Lakers. Last season is looking more like the typical NBA player in a contract year. But I'll let the numbers speak for themselves: Walton, after signing a 6-year $30 million, rewarded the Lakers with a scoring average drop from 11.4 to 7.8 ppg., a field goal percentage drop from 47.4% to 45.4%, a freethrow percentage drop from 74.5% to 64.6% and a drop in rebounding from 5.0 to 3.7 rpg. He looks slower, his defense is worse and he passes aren't as crisp as in previous seasons.

As I've said before, Trevor Ariza needs to take Walton's place in the starting lineup. His energy, defensive effort and overall appreciation from the Staples Center fans are much needed in the opening minutes.

The Association should stop hating on the kid. Give him a chance to bail himself out of this before you strip him of his name. That is all.

Lakers @ Raptors

2008-02-01T16:07:00.000-08:00

Again, not gonna be your typical update tonight, but with so much going on in the Laker world we couldn't resist. Plus, it's fun to keep tabs on the road trip. We're even going to try to hand out Player of the Night awards, we were going to give one last night but couldn't figure out who to give it to, so hopefully tonight is inspiring?

The Raptors: Is it just us, or is that the funniest name for a team. Raptors are like the cutest dinosaurs alive. Kind of makes us want to have a tea party with them. Us, tea, little tiny baby velociraptors and a bunch of cute hats, wanna come?

Violet Palmer: We absolutely hate this ref. We should be all "girl power" for her being what looks like one of, if not the only female ref, but she sucks.

Canadians: Are there any of them on this team? Which leads to the debate of "what if everyone had to play for the team in their home state, at least rookie season?" That'd be awesome to watch, no?

The Bench: Funny how there isn't an actual bench, it's a row of chairs, but also, there isn't an actual bench! We have 10 uni's tonight. 10. That's just as bad as the last game against Seattle.

So we have our 5 starters: LO, Kobe, D-Fish, Ronny, and Radman
Then we got: J.Farm & The Machine to back it up
Theres also: Coby who, when the hell's the last time he played? and DJ Mbenga (whom we haven't had opportunity to talk about yet) who is new and cannot be FULLY depended upon.
Oh yeah and: Luke - let's just say he's only in uni because he can be (as in, they have enough space on the bench for him), in fact it's rather surprising that Mihms isn't out there in uni, just cause. But he's not, he's rockin' the dress.
Add that to the fact that we shipped two soldiers off this morning and aren't getting our other soldier in return until tomorrow at the earliest and we're sad looking. Dinner for 10?

Why is it that we seem to only trade during road trips? Wouldn't travel arrangements be easier if we were chillin in LA? Just sayin'.

And even if we keep Mbenga, we still have an extra roster spot cause Critt and Brown are gone... hmmmm...

8:14 in the second - the first time we see free's from anybody tonight.

All the talk today is about how Kupcake is a genius for trading our worst player for their best player. Delicious.

End of 3rd/Start of 4th: You see what we mean... little baby velociraptors riding around in toy cars in circles on the middle of the hardwood. It doesn't get much cuter than that!

11:25 in the fourth: Kobe says, "Reach & I'll Teach"

Who'da thunk they'd keep Coby and ditch Javaris?
The boys just put on a circus show.

Quote of the night: "All he needs is a saddle on Kobe's back." Stu Lantz
Of course that was preceded by: "Delfino must think he's in an old western."

Player of the night: Kobe. Yeah, he's always phenomenal - or very close to - but tonight was just one for the books. So many shots that shouldn't have been... couldn't have been if they were taken by anyone else. Hallelujah!

Lakers @ Pistons

2008-01-31T17:50:00.000-08:00

Not your average In-Game blog tonight, just a few thoughts.

The injury thing has got to stop! We know it's pretty much just par for the course with the Lakers but we can still be mad. Luke hasn't been contributing much these days but he offers a sort of... flow... to the game that just isn't there tonight and it's quite obvious that everyone is scrambling to fix something that they aren't certified to do.

At half time, the box score looks like: a big box of crap!

But it seems like they are going to turn this one around, let's watch...
The Pistons are sad that they let the Lakers get ahead of them. It's kind of comical to watch them get pissed at every single call the refs make. Keep it up, we like technicals.

Now we're down to the wire. Tied up, Phil is fired up... now we got the lead... Ronny's at the line, splits 'em. Time out. Oh shizzle, it's almost too much to watch. We're going crazy, END THIS TIME OUT!!

4.4 seconds... ... ... ... ... ... soooooooooooo close. Where's Andrew?

Lakers vs. Knicks

2008-01-29T22:01:00.000-08:00

We didn't have time to blog tonight during the game but wanted to mention that with the injury thing killing us faster than Raid on ants, we needed something serious tonight.

Ronny was serious. His blocking, catching, and throwing it down was phenomenal.

LO was serious. He seemed to have put some pieces of the puzzle together.

Kwame was pretty serious. He may be making his come back now that people are ready to believe in him.

But most of all, player of the night, Sasha Vujacic! Never seen someone quite as serious as he. Don't think we even need to get into why he's player of the night other than the fact that he threw it down on a repeating and frequent basis. We want to sing Bye Bye Birdie style to him. We love you Sasha, oh yes we do... we love you Sasha, and we'll be true. When you're not near us, we're blue... Oh Sasha we love you!

Home isn't always where the heart needs to be

2008-01-18T12:35:00.000-08:00

Patriots fans may be crass, but Los Angeles fans, and more specifically tonight, Lakers fans are down right abysmal. Bottom line to this one is that you don't boo your home team/players. If that's how you feel, stay at home. This is not the first time, even this season, that one of the Lakers have been unanimously booed by the "fans", first it was Kobe, at a time when it was really hard to stand up for Kobe as an outsider looking in, all you can see is this "leader" not leading. Still booing Kobe Bryant does you no good, unless you need to get your booing averages up.
Tonight was Kwame's night. He did play terrible basketball, let the record stand, but let's explore some things before we make up our minds. Kwame is fighting his way back to his fighting weight. Most people recover from injury slowly, not overnight because someone else at work got hurt, it just doesn't work that way. While he may not have been productive on offense, his defense was enough to keep us from being bent over the knee and spanked by the Suns whom we hate so much, which ain't half bad. He did manage 6 rebounds and 8 points. And if you're thinking the booing helped, it didn't, there's probably a good reason behind why he left without talking to the media or even his teammates after the game.

What's even more outrageous is the selectiveness of the booing. 2 rebounds, 1 assist, 2 blocks against.That was Luke Walton's box score. That's downright pathetic. 1 assist for the guy who's supposed to be the greatest passer of all times (or of this time? or of the Lakers? or whatever?)? Just 1? Okay thanks Luke. 2 blocks against? Put the ball in the hole. 2 rebounds, that's not half bad. But what you won't see up there are points, that's cause he had none. None. In fact unless you got a DNP last night for the Lakers you got at least 2 points in your personal box, well, unless it was the case that your name was Luke Walton. Where was all of that basketball IQ he's got? WWBS?
Did Luke get booed? Nope. Is anyone even mad that a veteran of his nature SCORED NO POINTS? Don't get me wrong, we love Luke in all of his forum blueness, but you either show the class of the Jazz fans and boo Luke as well as Kwame or you be a good fan and support your team when the only player they've got left to fill a role is suffering through the end of an injury and the added pressure of having to play no matter what. One or the other Lakers fans. And since you're such great fans I know you're going to get all "but he's not the only option, remember Turiaf!" on me. I do remember Turiaf, I also remember that his championship gold gets him in a lot of foul trouble in a little playing time, so basically we can go ahead and say he's the other option and then when we've ended a quarter and a quarter of a quarter and he's fouled out of the game we'll then what? Forfeit? Kwame is our only option for now, with Ronny coming in to give him a quick breather, so support him or buy season seats to the Clippers.

Lakers vs. Pacers

2008-01-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
The Chargers brought it home tonight, time for the Lakers to handle business. It's raining in southern California which is not really our favorite but it's good to be at home in the warmth. Lamar is back, is this a good thing? Watching Stu get smacked into is kind of hilarious, do it again? YES! Now if Sasha can sink balls with that consistency tonight, we'll be good! Also, a side note to our BFF who lives in Indiana... bring.it.on.

Tip Off
Kobe, Derek,Lamar, Luke, Andrew - and it seems like the other team ALWAYS controls the tip off.

1st Quarter
10:35 So Kobe is gonna have one of those nights huh?

8:42 The bench is still standing as Indiana gets to 9.

7:55 Wow. Just wow. That's kinda far into the quarter.

6:56 "I AM THE COACH! I WILL YELL!"

6:22 Lamar and Andrew... good times.

6:10 A pair of T's for the Pacers... and Dunleavy = 3 (years old). Save the jumping up and down for the playground?

5:03 Once, twice, three times the Andrew!

4:33 Finally we're waking up... except for Luke.

2:46 Luke, FINALLY!

1:30 That would have been a sweet one for The Trev.

1:16 No, you may not take our Kobe with you.

43.1 Somebody did something on the floor, but more importantly Ronny is warming up early tonight.

33-23 Los Angeles

2nd Quarter
Coach O talks a lot.

9:42 Oh shit... time for the J & J show!

8:08 Let's try a new concept called Not Reaching.

Maybe we just missed it but what the hell did Turiaf even do for that T?

4:28 I can hear the refs yelling... nevertheless, there's no reason to hold when Luke still has the ball out of bounds.

4:12 Walton for the steal... but we didn't do anything about it.

3:30 Shirtwatch: Lamar Odom.

3:14 Pimp down!

1:46 Wonder if Andrew gets a bad case of deja vu on nights like tonight?

27.1 OOOOH! Luke Walton - we're amazed every time he makes a difference.

55-53 Still the Lakers

Half Time
Not too shabby so far, but if we can manage to spank the Pacers it'll help the Chargers with some state pride going into next week, so let's get it done, okay? Also it will make me sleep better. Indiana BFF is confused by this blog - there are two different people writing typing out the verbal comments we make during the game; it has no relevance to anything other than we felt like blogging.

3rd Quarter
9:24 OH SHIT. Watch your eyes Luke. Watch your eyes (staring down the ref won't do you any good tonight).

7:28
Lamar: Here Luke, your turn.
Luke: It's okay Lamar you can have it.
Lamar: Are you sure buddy?
Luke: Yeah, go for it, go team!
Lamar: Okay, go team!

5:17 We like where this game is headed.

Did Lamar just take and make a 3?

0.0 Jordan just notched an Almost!

Something - Something Else Lakers. We forgot to remember.

4th Quarter
11:06 NO PUSHING OUR JORDAN!

9:34 You can't handle The Critt.

Speaking of good commercials, the "Change" commercial from Southwest Airlines? Brilliant.

7:23 Oh dear...

That was a painful look on Kurt's face. Painful.

4:44 The starters seem to be cleaning it up nicely.

4:19 No way was Derek missing that one!

Oh no Luke - must make 2 free throws... must make 2... nevermind.

2:52 Derek pretty much just decide this shit for us.

1:48 Yay Coby!

53.7 TACOS for sure.

Thank you Luke. Thank you!

112 - 96

Final Comments
All starters in doubles. Good times on a Sunday night.

The Yay award of the night: Coby Karl. We like seeing him play even though it's garbage time.

The Do It Well award of the night: Andrew Bynum. We just love watching him play, and that new J.Lo song seems fitting.

The 10 Games award: The Lakers for being 10 games over .500!

Our player of the night: Luke Walton. When we talk trash on him, he goes out and proves us wrong. Well, if that's what we have to do for him to get it done, then we'll just keep on. But seriously though, 7 assists means he's on his way back to his "known for".

Lakers vs. 76ers

2008-01-04T19:37:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
Man! It feels like it's been fooooooreva since the Lakers have played! Here's hoping the time off did them some good. We are Lakers through and through, but come on people... Lamar deserved the suspension, he was being a tad bit out of control, let's stop pretending it was innocent? Welcome to 2008 boys.

Tip Off
Derek, ~~Wally Pip~~ Luke, New 'do Ronny, Andrew, Kobe

1st Quarter
11:25 The bench looks mighty thin tonight.

11:12 Shirtwatch: Luke Walton

Dalembert - we just like saying that out loud. Typing it doesn't have the same effect =/

9:30 Andrew "Hustleman" Bynum!

7:48 Bye Luke.

6:36 RONNY!!!

Not to be haters or anything buuuuut, how many times are we gonna discuss the development of Hustleman?

5:01 The Extra Pass always works.

4:28 Unless that happens?

2:40 Shirtwatch: Andrew Bynum - but he gets a free pass for that throw down a second ago.

This may be the earliest we've ever ever seen Javaris. Woohoo!

34-26 Shotblockers

2nd Quarter
Celeb camera time... hey, wait a minute, where's Britney?

11:30 Jordan with the gold touch. We have no idea what that means, we just like talking about Jordan.

10:09 Phew! That one was close like 4 times in a row.

Woah! J.Critt, we weren't ready for that! Do it again... do it again!

8:57 Ronny?

What are the chances the shoes and the floor were intentionally manufactured to make that squeak-squeak sound as often as possible?

7:49 The Trev brings it home. Gosh he's good!

6:19 Looks like Kwame just bought himself a break.

5:54 "Fuck!" Don't be mad Jordan, you're still our Hero.

5:33 J.Critt gets Ronny into his first dance routine of the night.

3:56 We shan't comment on Luke's play so far - no need to curse it.

3:36 Someone tell Derek this is not the place to practice daddy and me ballet moves.

3:17 Round of applause for Mr. Crittenton!

64-40 Lakers!!

Half Time
We don't really have much to say, the game has spoken for itself so far. Brilliant. Let's hold on for the rest of the night okay? On a different note, some people have come to view us as alcoholics, so this year we've resolved to drink less... in 2009. We need wine refills.

3rd Quarter
11:14 Kobe isn't napping after the break.

10:07 The Sixers should probably learn how to babysit the Lakers a little better.

8:56 Semi-circle ball passing, our favorite!

6:37 Someone must have taken a match to D.Fish.

Nutmegged! Ultimate humiliation.

3:41 Luke and Vitti chatting... that can't be too good.

3:08 Andrew? We were gonna call this a shirtwatch until he pulled down his shorts on the court for a tuck in.

Mihm makes his traditional game day appearance.

1:13 J to J and everyone's smiling tonight.

1:00 So yeah, people are getting dinner tonight. No doubt.

Jordan plays volleyball?

96 -68 More of the same

4th Quarter
12:00 Ladies and gentlemen say hello to Coby Karl!

Hmmmmm?

Trevor is like our own personal janitor.

6:32 Jordan Farmar will you marry us?

4:35 J.Critt!

Smart ball playing all around. "What a start to the weekend."

3:22 Damn, we thought Karl was gonna get himself a 12 trillion tonight. We're not really against him, we just thought it might be so - and we don't like being wrong.

1:23 Coby is a bit over-eager to do anything and everything all the time.

9.3 Pretty sure they took a quick vote and gave that to Coby Karl. That's teamwork my friends. THAT'S TEAMWORK!

124-93 I love L.A.
Bake 'em away toys!

Final Comments
Did everyone get on the board tonight? Yep, these kids defined teamwork tonight by kicking their stars to the curb for the 4th quarter. Most importantly... tacos all around!

The "Who?" award of the night: Lamar Odom. The Lakers forgot to remember that he was missing tonight.

The You Kiss Your Mother With That Mouth? award of the night: Jordan Farmar for saying the F word on television (mostly we just want to point out that we saw it on TV cause that's funny).

The Interview Of The Night award: Ronny Turiaf because we love his accent almost as much as we love him begging for some tacos. Seriously? Give the men some tacos already! And Javaris Crittenton for being such a humble being.

Our player of the night: Javaris Crittenton: He pretty much threw his own 'Welcome to Los Angeles' party tonight during the most significant hardwood outing of his life so far. Welcome J, welcome.

Hot Pants vs. Capris

2007-12-30T17:45:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
Where old rivalries finally come back to life!
There are so many decisions to make tonight, to watch FSN or FSNPT? To drink or not to drink? To be sad that Luke's not playing (likely) or to be happy that The Trev is kicking ass as a starter? It's enough to make your head hurt. Never fear, we're gonna be here doing what we do best... making stupid comments on the game that you probably don't even care about (but it gives us something to go back to and laugh about at a later date and time). This ain't your old high school rivalry folks... this is THE BUSINESS!
We flipped a coin and are going to watch FSNPT and record FSN for later viewing should we so choose!

Tip Off
KB, LO, AB, TA, DF

1st Quarter
9:15 D. Fish with some free throws in his hot pants - we're pretty sure his are the shortest out there - we just now recovered from them taking off the warm ups.

7:14 Lamar we can't have this tonight.

Aaaaaaaaaand we just saw Trevor's socks. Could this get any better?

5:17 Speaking of Trevor - he's a little ball of energy tonight isn't he?

4:29 The free throw line needs to be examined tonight - there's clearly something wrong with it.

2:54 Did Perkins just get a T for staring at Drew? Awesome!

Even the Laker Girls are in the 80's spirit tonight.

1:08 The refs are handing out T's like they are going out of style.

28.5 They are playing hard tonight judging from the sweat dripping from their faces.

5.9 Every time a new guy gets off the bench we start our laughing all over again at the "shorts".

0.0 Ronny doesn't always do a lot but when he does do what he does do it's brilliant!

30-23 Celtics

2nd Quarter
10:41 J. Critt is in already? Could this mean no more human victory cigar status for him?

9:35 Just call Trevor The Hustleman.

6:55 JORDAN! No pushing!

6:36 Scalabrine just checked in... now we're not really up on other teams and their players but we read enough to know that this guy should make us laugh and um, we did.

5:35 We've got the spirit, but somehow we're just not following through :(

Kevin Garnett doesn't look like a dude who would be named Kevin Garnett.

4:46 How long has Radman been in the game? He's already racking up non helpful stats.

It feels like Kobe's already turned to desperation shooting.

3:13 We all know that was a total make up call for not fouling Drew on making KG bleed... such transparency.

Luke gets to play after all, let's see if our theory about his bounce back efficiency** is true...

2:15 So far it's a yes for the Walton Theory.

23.8 If we have to see one more dude "adjust his shorts" we're gonna fall over.

Not quite as awesome as an 0.4 but D.Fish just brought it with the 1.4 or whatever it was to bring us to...

53-45 Capris

Half Time
Ask (complain) and ye shall receive - Hot Pants > Capris. Always. Period. In fact, we're so amused by the hot pants that we aren't even mad that we're losing (yet). The whole court side view concept is interesting but boring as hell. It's not "just like being at the game" for a few reasons. 1 being that we didn't interview any celebrities last time we were sitting court side at the game - even though, ironically, we were standing in the media section. 2 being that there's actually much more to look at when you are there. And 3 being that while you can hear the fans screaming on TV it's way off in the distance making the broadcast eerily quiet. We do want to say one thing and then forget we ever even thought it - we wish we were Celtics fans because their fan apparel is cute and fun/easy to accessorize. Maybe the boys will pat each other on the ass a few times in the locker room and they'll get over their fear of being in public in the shocker pants/ man panties/ whatever else you wanna call them.
27,000 people in downtown Los Angeles right this very moment.

3rd Quarter
They changed! With this development we're not going to be happy if they lose. Losing is only acceptable if they are wearing the man panties.

11:29 So far the long shorts aren't helping... pretty sure they just didn't bring their A game with them to STAPLES.

10:02 Shirt watch on Lamar.

9:55 Trevor "The Slasher" Ariza according to Joel and Stu.

7:32 Aaaargh!

6:22 Ronny workin' the DDR off the bench. We seriously hope he goes to his local arcade and schools all the little Jr. High School kids who think they're hot shit.

5:10 Did Luke hear us talking about him and his bounce back efficiency? Holler!

3:17 Doc better call a time out cause the Lakers are about to start steam rolling his boys.

2:11 Are you kidding???

1:30 The losers at the Special Olympics could officiate this game better than these refs.

12.0 "Indecision by Luke Walton".

We're not down by that much - we have 1 quarter to clean this shit up.

4th Quarter
9:36 We saw that coming from the 1st quarter... night night Andrew, sleep tight, don't let the bench bugs bite.

8:49 Some of the things (including that miss) we've seen tonight from the boys in our favorite colors are just unbelievable.

7:57 J. Critt leaves teenageacy behind tomorrow.

6:27 We're not really sure what just happened in the past couple of seconds. We're almost ready to turn this game off.

5:18 Okay so it's only charging if the Lakers do it, if the Celtics do it it's okay... is that how this works?

2:57 Yeah Lamar you guys aren't gonna win this now so you may as well go start some shit, just don't turn it into The Malice @ The Palace okay?

2:22 They are trying to kill Jordan.

Can the Celtics stop making out with each other on their bench please? Or can FSN at least stop airing it?

46.6 Can you guys please just clean it up so we don't get bent over the knee and spanked?

31.1 I guess that's a no?

110-91 Meh!

Final Comments
Okay, we're only half pissed that we didn't win this one. At least we got a hearty laugh throughout the first quarter? Actually watching the "highlights" right now we're still laughing hysterically. If Jesus loved us like they said in that song we sang in Sunday school years ago, he'd make the shorts come back at least once this season, just cause.

** The Luke Walton Bounce Back Theory is that it takes him an average of 4 games to bounce back (to being an effective player) after missing any amount of games with his ever present ankle injuries. He usually just goes out on the floor and puddleducks around during his first couple of games back.

Award time:
The "Hey, there's that guy" award of the night: Rick Fox steals it from Mihm in part because... seriously where has he been? Also because we didn't even get a screen shot of Mihm tonight so we couldn't effectively say, "Hey! There's that guy..." about him.

The Shortest Shorts Ever award of the night: Derek Fisher. Dude! Those things were teener.

Comment of the night: Joel or Stu (we forgot already): "My ankle's sore but I can stroke it." Providing us with the thoughts in Luke's head after a big 3, but read it out of context and you'll understand it better.

Our player of the night: The Hot Pants. No joke, those things were awesome. They are going to keep us giggling all night long and the reaction from the crowd was just enough to make us wish this was college ball so that we'd get a true celebration. Plus, ~~we no longer have to wonder what Jordan looks like in man panties~~ we can call them real throw back jersey's now.

Lakers vs. Jazz

2007-12-28T17:59:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
We've done our fair share of internet trolling today to pass the time at work - er, we mean to uh, shit... the boss won't be reading this right? We came across a few things that bring smiles to the faces. This quote, "...and losing track of starting point guard Stephon Marbury for a couple of days in November." about Isaiah (who doesn't even need a last name any more because you know who we're talking about) pretty much makes us want to high five America.
Surely by now everyone has seen "Before The Bigs" the Luke Walton episode, but we felt like watching it anyway (it's all we're gonna see of him tonight anyway)... we almost forgot how much he is his fathers' son. Read that again.
Looks like Kwame gets some play tonight... this ought to be interesting... it's Friday and a holiday weekend so we'll be drinking!

Tip Off
Kobe, Andrew, Derek, Lamar, Trevor we forgot to look at who controlled the tip because Ronny was warming up - for Dance Dance Revolution, not that we mind but shouldn't he have been paying attention to the game?

1st Quarter
10:17 Here's a joke for the evening, "How many Lakers does it take..."

9:23 The Trev may just push his way into our hearts if he keeps it up!

8:06 SHOTS (though we admit Drew has been controlling his foul rate these days)

7:35 Kobe for the em ephin steal and the pass to himself. Who cares if he didn't make it, it was still quite awesome.

5:52 THAT'S FUCKIN' TEAM WORK! Funny how you can use the same joke from earlier and it's awesome this time.

5:28 Oh Andrew!

DWCC (Dwyane Wade Commercial Count) I

Kwame! Makin' a difference right away.

3:13 We weren't going to embarrass the Jazz by bringing up the "class" of their "fans" but since the announcers brought it up... we'd like to point out that we haven't booed them so heinously tonight in retaliation. That, "dear" people of Utah is how class sounds. (Booing at free throws does not count against your class rating).

1:31 That was smooth!

17.6 Kobe this isn't baseball - nobody's measuring the speed of your pass.

Useless stat alert: We just got a season high for points in the first 12 minutes.

38 - 23 Lakers

2nd Quarter
11:09 Ronny might make a name for himself in shot blocking in one game. Dare we say "Got Them Dos!"

8:53 Jordan and Ronny are having a back and forth love fest tonight. Can we join?

6:35 The do-over play for Radman..

6:08 Holla for J.Far. We should mention that we mostly just call him Hero after the end of the Knicks game the other day.

Oh hey, Luke will be getting some air time tonight after all, nice suit. We'll drink to you!

DWCC II

4:52 T for Sloan! Woohoo!!

4:14 I think every single person in Championship Gold touched that one.

We just gave them the T and they missed as well... can we insert a useless stat for this somehow?

1:15 Damn that one would have been sweet...

47.5 MVP MVP MVP

75 -48 Lakers of course.

Half Time
With the team playing so well we haven't gotten our drink on quite as much as we'd like. This concoction of Pumpkin Schnapps and Orange Juice is delightful, we might just have to drink to excellence. We are gonna go work on our "Bang Bang" dance (see Kobe highlights from the first half) and pray to the rain Gods that we keep up the show in the 2nd half.

DWCC III

3rd Quarter
11:10 Over the glass for Kobe. That's hott!

10:42 The Trev needs to work on his free throwing lest we push him to a stat sheet with Geriatric-Diesel.

10:12 It's been 30 seconds since we last commented on the free throwing of The Trev and it still stands...

9:54 He does make up for it quite a bit with his anticipatory skills though. Round of applause for that steal.

8:07 Phew! (That one barely went down)

DWCC IV (We abso-fucking-lutely hate this stupid commercial. Make it stop!)

4:19 Ariza had the smoothness to Fish who missed.

Girls wanna know: Why is every little thing a stat. Seriously? Should we also figure in bounces per game when averaging things? I mean, if you look at the ratio of baskets made vs. # of times the ball was dribbled per game it's gotta further prove the conspiracy theories surrounding the Lakers. I'm not a mathematon so I couldn't do this myself but I know it'll work out in the end.

3:44 What the hell is wrong with Hero's shorts as he's entering the game?

3:14 Time for Drew to calm down and tuck in his shirt.

We're gonna leave the C-note mark in the dust in 3 quarters time.

2:47 Andrew! =(

2:30 Lakers with the "around the world" pass. How many times can we go around the world in 24 seconds?

1:47 Tender Ronny with The Towel.

My god Hero looks short out there.

0.1 Hero for the not even necessary trois at the end of the quarter to make it:

106 - 74 Even though it's pretty early on, we're guessing Taco Chants will be starting very soon, and tacos are looking like a serious reality at this point.

4th Quarter
10:44 Trevor! We really want to vote for you for player of the night... don't fuck this up!

9:28 Dear Radman, What the hell was that?

8:37 Holy shit how many fouls does Kwame have now?

7:44 Don't start falling apart now...

7:17 Nice recovery for Hero.

Looks like the tacos might be going bye-bye?

J.Critt, Criptonite, Javaris in the game

5:59 PB&J has been pretty quiet tonight until now...

33 assists!

3:47 It's hard not to notice how much Ronny likes taking credit for fouling people. We're pretty sure he'd take credit for other people fouling people if he was anywhere near the action. Actually, he'd probably even try to take credit for fouling people if he was still sitting on the bench.

2:42 Take down a jersey number and beat him up 'cause there goes your tacos LA fans.

Ronny with the finger lickin' goodness and there's a pan of the bench... all the starters went on early vacation tonight. And once again "Hey, there's that guy..." Chris Mihm.

This game is so far over FSN has taken down the shot clock, game clock, scoreboard et al on the screen.

57.5 (We can only tell by looking at the in house time clock) They think they can still win this?

123 -109 4 in a row!

Final Comments
Holla atcha boys! We even got a smile from PB&J. We won't bother getting as excited as the Lakers did - oh wait...
We do actually understand the non-victory like attitudes they displayed, they pretty much let it go in the 4th. Good call. We got the W and that's what counts in the end. Anyway on with the awards of the night:

The Thank God He Didn't Choke On His Comeback Game award of the night: Kwame Brown. It's so easy to just go out there and chalk a shitty game up to being rusty and he didn't.

The "Hey there's that guy" award of the night: Defending title holder Chris Mihm. Seriously, Javaris got off the bench and this guy didn't. Yeah we know he played a game or two ago and didn't completely suck but seriously?

The It's Gonna Be A Long Trip Home award: Jerry Sloan & The Utah Jazz who in addition to just getting their shit handed to them in a potpourri bag have to face the Celtics next and it's not gonna be pretty.

Our player of the night: Trevor Ariza. He threw it down. No, it wasn't a spectacularly amazing game tonight for him personally but combine this game with that famous dunk up/posterization on Grant's Hill and he's more than earned this, besides, when isn't it awesome to actually like the newbie?

The "Oh shit did he just say that?" award of the night: PB&J for calling Luke out on his pending Wally Pipp status. Though we're sure he was joking and really, nothing coming from Phil's mouth should be surprising.

Lakers @ Cavaliers

2007-12-20T17:44:00.001-08:00

A word before the game
This could quite possibly be our last post of the year. We don't want to sound like we love ourselves a lot, but we kind of do so we're going on vacay. Don't worry, we'll still be watching and either cheering for or asking wtf?
We also want to take a moment to be sad for Alonzo Mourning - we're not being sarcastic in this sentence. Now the Heat are going to have to depend on... um, er, we got nothin.
The boys in the TNT studio elfed themselves... we've been doing this all winter long. Please try it, it's frighteningly entertaining. Dance with Kobe.

Tip Off
Kobe Bryant of course, Derek Fisher naturally, Andrew Bynum as expected, LO and Luke! No drinking for us tonight but if you're drinking... turn it up!

1st Quarter
11:43 A foul for KB already? Hmmmmm...

9:13 Senseless foul. Thanks Luke.

8:11 Are we really gonna let them dominate?

6:54 We can't have Kobe missing free throws tonight, just putting that out there.

Because of some fighter jets flying overhead for the past 20 minutes we haven't been able to actually hear the television but imagine our disgust when the air show is over and the announcers are still talking about Kobe vs. LeBron - there are a few other people there ya know.

2:48 Maaaaaaaan you can't stop Kobe. We thought you knew.

1:22 They have cooler in house music than we do. That's not fair!

28 We'll take even.

2nd Quarter
Remember that time we didn't keep our mouth guard tucked into the back of our sweatbands on our heads LeBron?

10:25 Our first "insert players name" to Drew!

We're ashamed to admit we're a little jealous of the Cavs' #17's hair.

3:26 We got distracted trying to find who sings a particular song and somehow ended up on "I got it from my mama". We're sure some basketball has been going on this whole time.

3:06 Luke! It's so nice to see him making baskets these days, even if he does need to fall on the ground right before.

Where awkward moments between teammates getting national airtime happens. (Snow)

1:20 NOT!

32.8 Is Andrew getting emotional? Let's not go down that road again please.

Walton - the go to inbounder - footballs it across the court. Makes absolutely no difference whatsoever we just like talking about football while watching basketball.

Scores somewhere in the 50's for both teams but Lakers are winning and that's the part that counts eh?

Half Time
Is it just us or does Lamar's face look fake? Like he's wearing stage makeup and a wig to look like he's bald.

3rd Quarter
9:54 Luke don't lose your touch! You hear us?

9:36 HAHAHAHAHA. Get up fool.

8:25 Kobe to Drew

We're not looking forward to the extreme road game winter for the Lakers so stop reminding us.

6:18 For reals Lamar? For reals?

We love LO, but whoever just said he's the key to this team makes us laugh, A LOT.

5:07 Luke, we've warned you once. Do not make us turn on you tonight... it's gonna be a long couple of weeks before we can put you back on our cool people list.

4:40 Thank you!

3:42 Goddamn son, somebody go rebound that for us.

3:17 Instead of an And 1 they should just call it a High 5?

.2 We're sure PB&J has a great reason for doing everything he does but is this really a superb time for lineup changes?

78-73 Lakers

4th Quarter
11:00 We're not in love with a tie this late in the game.

9:59 Vujacic for 0!

This just in, the Heat might win a game.

7:47 Holla for Drew!

6:08 Bynum for the "Noooooot!" (that's a block)

3:59 Luke Walton cleans up after himself.

3:11 Serious?

Come on! Let's end this, we have cookies to start baking.

2:00 We definitely don't like our games tied at The Dos.

WHY FISH WHY?

20.7 Shot clock violation.

11.9 If Drew wants to hold our respect for the rest of the season he will make these...
1 - Guess he doesn't
2 - Nope, he doesn't

10.3 Kobe with the "this ball is mine" time out.

Sitting on the edge of our seats at a moment like this, ready to either have happy baking time or mad baking time.

Walton for his famous inbounding...

3.3 What??? No, no, no, no, no. NO. That is simply unjust.

Angry baking it is. Hope these cookies don't taste like Cavaliers and disgust.

3.3 Remarkably still the time, Luke does the inbounding again... aaaaaaaaaand it's all for nothing.

Pack it up gentlemen. Maybe we'll see ya tomorrow night just cause going on vacay with loss doesn't taste good.

Final Comments
We need to lose the whole "let's take the 3rd Quarter off" mentality if we think we're going to do big things this year. And yes, we think we're going to do big things this year. Realistically D.Fish shouldn't have been called on that last foul though - that's just senseless refereeing. We got yo numba ref!

No awards for tonight - we don't have it in us.

Our player of the night: Good question. Pretty lack-luster game, nobody really stood out. Let's just try this again tomorrow shall we?

Lakers @ Bulls

2007-12-18T18:58:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
Sunday was a crazy night at STAPLES right? Were you there? We were. Enough of that. Let's get this under way and see if it was a fluke, or if it was the real thing shall we?

Tip off
1st Quarter
2nd Quarter
Half Time
3rd Quarter
4th Quarter

Final Comments
Quote of the night (from a comment by Mhunt at forumblueandgold.com):

"I realized what it is that Kwame really brings to that first unit besides a big body on defense: a simple, almost childlike adherence to the offense. In a way, he reminds me of a kid in the third-grade, one of the slowest in the class, coming in for a math test furiously reciting the multiplication tables under his breath so he can remember them. Doesn’t matter what the test questions actually are: he’s going to write down his memorized tables and hope for a C- this time instead of a D or F.

When he’s on the floor with the first unit, the ball moves much better because Kwame is only capable of focusing on just one thing: moving where he’s supposed to as hard and fast as he can. He’s not really bright enough to think about anything else at the time. That’s probably a part of why his hands are so rubbery…he’s concentrating so hard on making the right cut, or setting the right pick, and suddenly someone passes him the ball and he’s thinking “What’s this? But I’m supposed to be moving! Not catching! Mongo no move and catch at same time!” Almost like a toddler, actually."

Pretty much sums it up, but you can read it all if you'd like.

Notice how it's all blank in the middle? Here's the thing: I'm here in good old San Diego. The game is on KCAL. KCAL does not exist in San Diego. Now you're thinking "what?". That's okay, there's a solution to this. Pay nearly $200 and get League Pass. Which means you can watch any game you want. Every game will be available in one of the following ways:
Local Broadcast (like KCAL)
National Broadcast (like ESPN)
NBATV (yeah it's the NBA's very own channel)
League Pass Broadband (view it on the internet)

Now, you can only get a game in one of those places. You're not gonna have it on multiple channels, bottom line. I'm fine with that. Really. I'll sit through crappy announcers so I can see the team. Tonight I come home, look up where I'm supposed to watch the game at, find that it's on NBATV and flip to that channel. Being that it's on NBATV it's available to any and everyone who's paid for League Pass on that channel... unless you have KCAL. I know you're still wondering why I didn't see the game. Me too actually.

Aaaaaaaaaaaapparently since the game is being broadcast locally (KCAL) it's blacked out in my area on NBATV. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not but WE DON'T FUCKING GET KCAL IN SAN DIEGO. Maybe this is a mistake DIRECTV made? It'd be a pretty big mistake - it's like going snowboarding during All Star Break and... woah, off topic - but just maybe. I call them, and of course get the pre-recorded run around, just what I'd hoped for, before finally getting to the bottom of things. Nope, no mistake. I can watch the game on KCAL this lady tells me. I ask if she can look at my account and tell me where I'm at on the planet earth. Yes, for the record the information is right in front of her. I asked if she's ever been to San Diego. Yes, she lives in San Diego. What? No way! I asked when the last time she watched KCAL in San Diego was... shockingly at this point there is silence on the other end of the phone.

There's no resolution to this because DIRECTV is still going to maintain that we San Diegans can just watch it on KCAL and I'm still going to be mad - except that I'm going to get my $200 back, they may not know that yet but I am. Thank god NBA.com doesn't block people from looking up scores of games they could be watching on their local channel because now I can look at the exciting white box and see that we won! That's pretty much all I can look and see. So, thank you DIRECTV for making me pay nearly $200 for some free stuff.

Lakers @ Warriors

2007-12-14T18:29:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
Tonight we bring you the voice of many... we're at a viewing party. Pot luck of fine Italian foods, wine and beer. It may get rowdy, we may even forget to write anything at all. We watched the first of the back to backs on mute because who cares. We're definitely playing the Forum Blue Drinking Game. And heeeeeeere we go!

Tip Off
Luke, LO, KB, Drew, D.Fish

1st Quarter
11:30 We let em score on us already?

10:28 Luke dropped it like it was hot... not a good thing when it happens twice.

9:34 There are maybe 14 people here but we may as well be in the arena... we've already had beers dropped from edge of seat screaming/jumping. Not a GSW fan in sight!

5:37 Goddamnit!

Please note the time: this is how far we've made it without having to hear about the summer of discontent. ESPN > TNT, though not by much.

5:24 Kobe sucks? (Jealous much Oakland?)

3:33 Every time Drew throws it down everyone stands up for a round of applause. We have no idea why but it's fun.

Helzberg diamonds... kind of awesome.

2:31 MISS

1:03 Lamar, we reeeeeeeeally wish you wouldn't.

54.3 Jordan, we're always thankful you did.

6.2 Are Warriors fans aware that they look like a giant McDonald's camp out with those shirts on?

28-17 Lakers
And now for the obligatory lame-ass interview with the coach...

2nd Quarter
9:31 This is how you play a back to back. Holla for that!

Send Richard Jefferson to All Stars!

6:48 Tender Ronny... he's our only love.

4:18 Luke we also wish you wouldn't - though not as much as LO cause sometimes yours go in.

Oh snap, Walton made BOTH free throws.

3:05 Left handed but he shoulda gone right, sorry Golden State

Hey there's Mihms. He's still with the Laker's?
We only bring him up because it's funny to say "Mihms" like we're background on that "This is why I'm hott" track.

2:53 Reason #947498298u to hate on the announcing tonight "Why does he call Luke by his first name and Bynum by his last name?" The better question is "Why are we being forced to listen to him calling Luke by his first name and Bynum by his last name?" Lose the player mic's. Seriously.

1:19 SHOTS! Courtesy of Drew.

Baron Davis such a talented player... so strong... aaaaaaand a miss.

54-47 Lakers

Halftime
We don't care what happens right now it's dessert time here. Baked Alaska. Look it up and eat your heart out boys.

3rd Quarter
11:53 Futbol!

9:56 Say what LO?

8:33 That just got a collective "awww shit" grumble from the room.

7:57 Walton may not be too incredibly dependable these days but you do actually have to guard him or he'll pull shit like that on ya.

Maaaaan, this is like being on a teeter-totter/sea-saw.

6:34 Have a 5th and a seat Mr. Davis.

4:48 Pimp down, beer on my head, Luke at the line (he's doing well there tonight).

2:27 Drew is officially fierce.

The "Oh Christmas Tree" commercial just made for some wet seats in the house. That was downright shout-out-loud-wtf-hilarious. Play it again!

1:03 Compare that one from LO to...

30.8 (or something like that) ... that one from J.Far

0.0 LO must have heard us talkin' smack cause he made up for it

85-83 Lakers!
Enter technical difficulties with the idiotic interviews.

4th Quarter
10:48 All we need Lamar to do - feed.

9:39 What did you do Radman?

9:17 Farmar drops it in even when he looks like he might be falling over.

7:57 Kobe seems to be having um, crotch problems.

7:37 Now Ronny is down, he just recovered from a head injury. Ugh.

5:53 YEEEEEEEAAAAAH! D.Fish! (that almost sounds like de-fense)

3:29 Luke make the shots... ... ... wait for it... ... ... thank you :)

We don't wanna speak out of place but the Warriors are letting us trample them with a Kobe Brynt who's moving as well as Shaq.

2:38 Jackson manages to not pull a Bynum, but you can see he really wants to.

Tommy John surgery - there's a girl one of us used to know who talked every day about how she had Tommy John surgery. I can tell you every last detail of it if you wish. Let's have a shot to celebrate not having to know her anymore.

1:54 We don't like our games tied at this point.

1:27 This is why we love Derek Fisher.

16.7 ARE YOU KIDDING?

can't... type... must... watch...

6.1 PLEASE LAMAR PLEASE

108-106 Warriors? <-- unbelievable, simply unbelievable.

Final Comments
We had this one in the bag. In the bag, and then our poorly packed sack lunch fell out of the bottom. Thanks for nothing mom! This whole room seems to agree though, this loss felt better than last night's win.

The Trade Him Now award of the night: Lamar Odom. He may have played an okay game tonight, better than what he's been turning in lately but we're tired of having to bow/shake our heads in shame 3 out of every 4 times he has the ball in his hands. Why not just let Mihm play? Speaking of...

The "Hey there's that guy" award of the night: Chris Mihm. What position does he play? LBW (left bench warmer) is not an official position in the NBA rule book so we're really asking for an answer on this one. He would have gotten the Trade Him Now award except how the hell do you trade the towel boy?

The If We're Gonna Keep Depending on Lamar Odom We May As Well Play This Guy award of the night: Javaris Crittenton and Coby Karl can share tonight.

Our player of the night: Johnny Walker Black for keeping us entertained all night long. We're certain that had Mr. Black actually gotten some minutes tonight he would have brought it home for us.

Lakers vs. Spurs

2007-12-13T19:36:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
The only thing good about double headers on national TV... watching Shaq still not making free throws. To be honest, we've been in and around the Laker's for the better part of our lives and though paying attention to the ball game wasn't ever really a part of that until recently, even we know Shaq can't shoot. Grab some popcorn and cozy up for a long game (damn you national television) of the boring San Antonio uniforms and some mediocre announcing. We hope to stay awake. One of our dad's wants us to mention that he used to train with Bruce Bowen at CSUF. That's completely irrelevant as this dad also still holds onto how he "almost played for the Lakers"... okay Uncle Rico, okay.

Tip Off
KB, D.Fish, Drew, LO, Luuuuuuuuuuuke (don't disappoint us tonight baby)!

1st Quarter
10:59 Did we just see Luke reach for his ankle in the middle of play?

10:33 The problem with national TV announcing is that they always feel like talking about Kobe's summer of discontent. Let's move on shall we?

9:14 All that for nothing huh?

8:00 First real basket...

The NBA where caring about millions of dollars happens. The NBA where caring about what Kobe says all summer long happens. The NBA where caring happens?

4:04 Get it Luke - according to Wikipedia his nickname is "Wild Luke". Hmmmm?

2:02 Just as we were about to ask if Lamar could go sit down somewhere... he does!

19-18 Spurs
Chatting with the coach is not necessary, you hear me Stern?

2nd Quarter
11:33 Not really sure who J.Far ws passing that to but...

11:12 ... he makes up for it almost from the bench.

Is it the job of announcers to announce the obvious?

9:42 Rejection Mr. Washington.

8:53 Radman is halfway down the court the second he lets that one go.

William Shatner probably really does play World of Warcraft in his spare time.

8:10 Now we're playing ball.

6:19 That's fuckin' team work! What's your favorite posish? (Please respect the reference)

If I had a knife I would run over to STAPLES and splice the wires to every microphone owned by TNT. Bye-bye Tony Parker.

4:30 Reason #987498 to hate on the announcing... that was Ariza that just got rejected, not Bynum. K, Thanks.

3:58 Our first KB to Drew of the night. Now we're talkin'!

3:26 Nothing like getting your ass smacked as you run by a TV camera - ma'am whoever you are, congratulations.

3:12 That didn't look too good for Kobe.

2:35 Drew Drew!!!

2:06 That was the laziest swap at the ball I've ever seen in my life. To applaud Robert Horry or not?

1:41 Derek, should we maybe save the hugs for after the game?

3.6 Fine form Walty, fine form. Though his after shot arm hang reminds us of Love & Basketball - look up Monica, 3rd Quarter, "Hold that pose until you get enough of it."

51-43 Lakers

Half Time
We're leading, but any Laker fan knows not to get too excited about this. We have to actually MAINTAIN the lead. Crazy, free radical thinking right there, we know. Diggin the Sprite commercial "I'm fallin' away with you".

3rd Quarter
10:45 D.Fish seems to have lost his fire power from the past couple of games

Maybe it's the Championship Gold or maybe it's just TNT but my God Mr. Walton looks sickeningly pale out there. Doesn't he live on the beach?

Nobody named Pookie gettin' in my fave 5.

6:50 If the Spurs want to give us 3, 4, 5 chances to get it in then we'll take it.

4:32 Everybody's got Drew's back, even though they should have just helped him to the bench instead. Let's predict - and then skip - that TNT takes their mic over to PB&J between quarters so they can talk about Drew.

3:29 Get up D. Fish... seriously get up... okay phew. Hopefully that doesn't permeate overnight.

74-72 Spurs

4th Quarter
Love PB&J making a joke out of the interview (nice tie).

11:07 Ariza to Turiaf aaaaaaand holla!

10:24 5 for whats his face. Have a seat, thanks.

9:37 Radman!

Fish hurt his knee, Kobe's wrapped up on the bench, Drew got ejected, do we have anyone playing anymore?

Putting a mic on J.Far couldn't be any more stupid. Seriously? What is the point of this?

The Spurs' warm ups seriously look like death.

5:40 We were falling asleep until A) McAfee Internet Suite wanted to let us know that our subscription is about to expire - obnoxious but thank you - and B) We looked up to see underwear adjustments in full force. Hello?

4:52 Luke almost killed it but he saved it and gives it to LO for the finish.

3:39 Walton footballs to LO for the finish. Are they going to be the new KB to Drew?

1:09 The people want their tacos.

32.7 Pimps down!

I'm tired of hearing about San Antonio being short handed... the Laker's haven't been that great of a team this year so suck it.

102-97 Lakers

Final Comments
The embarrassing turn over numbers belong to the other team tonight.

Quote of the night (only because they can eat it now), from Hardwood Paroxysm's 15 reasons to watch the 2 f'ing games in the NBA tonight:

15. We Need To File A Missing Person's Report: You guys remember Luke Walton? Remember that huge extension he got? We remember Luke Walton. We remember him being on our fantasy team. Why, Luke? Why? Why do you hate us? So if you see him scramble for another loose ball and miss, make an ill advised pass, or clank another jumper, and you hear an ungodly scream unlike anything you've ever heard? It's either me or Kupchak.

The Fuck You Too award of the night: Mr. I'm Gonna Eject Drew Bynum. Shame on you. Oberto can have a piece of this one as well.

The Please God Never Again award of the night: Microphones on the players. What happens when it falls off during play, do we get an extra time out? Do we give TNT a delay of game?

Our player of the night: Kobe Bryant, it's safe to say he brings it every single night but tonight he wins for chasing down the ref like he was talkin' about his mama or something. Admit it, it was kinda endearing to see KB having Drew's back like that!

Christmas with the Laker's

2007-12-13T08:33:00.000-08:00

In honor of our time off - yeah it's our time off too - that comes to an end tonight we've been focusing on our Christmas shopping. We've thought long and hard about each and everyone of the Lakers (and some of the staff too) and we're convinced we've picked up the perfect gift for each of them.

Kobe Bryant

A team photo so he can look at it every morning and remember who he should be passing the ball to. Admittedly he's doing quite well so far this season with "playing team ball", but January would be no time for a slip up and reappearance of Dr. Jekyll... better to keep him on track.

Luke Walton
New ankles Chris Mihm style. Hey, he just signed a nice contract what better time to take a few seasons off for his own good? Then he can come back during PB&J's last year (under current contract) and work on his timing for an entire season while the rest of the team and the world watches in horror. This would be less nailbiting than hoping his ankle doesn't snap every time he gets out of bed, or if his bed falls on him?

Lamar Odom

A hand held mirror so he can further admire his hair cut, as he clearly takes more pride in that than he does in his professional basketball career... judging solely based on his commitment to consistency. We'll even throw in a new brush.

Jordan Farmar

A date with us.

Trevor Ariza

Sacred Hoops/The Last Season double pack. It may help?

Derek Fisher

We're not gonna link it because we'd never endorse such behavior/we're to lazy but you may have heard of the "Punch in the balls o-gram" service. It's almost a holiday gram from your local dancing singing bear, instead, whomever D.Fish sends this gram to will be punched in the balls. He could just pick a name out of the phone book in Utah.

Kwame Brown

A new suit. As many games as he's spent on the bench this season, he's got to be running out of them by now!

Chris Mihm

A contract buyout so we don't have to watch him anymore. This is probably more of a present to ourselves but it's a good deed, indeed.

Sasha Vujacic

We couldn't decide between a brand new pack of head bands to match all of the Laker's uniforms or a get out of jail free card for "Those nights when you can't buy a 3".

Vladimir Radmanovic

Tickets to All Star Weekend in N'awlins. There's no snow there right?

Ronny Turiaf

DDR. Really no explanation needed here.

Andrew Bynum

We'll pay for him to take a public speaking course down at the community college. Watching him give an interview is almost as painful as watching Mihm run up the court. Hell we'll even pay the $12 student health fee and for a parking pass.

Javaris Crittenton

A hamburger. Starving children can't play in the NBA.

Coby Karl
An authentic Laker's jersey. Seriously.

Phil Jackson
A self censoring microphone. We actually love the comments he's made around the league (Brokeback anyone?) but ... well actually, we like his apologies even better, maybe we'll hold off on this one?

Dr. Buss

A designated driver over the age of 18.

Jeanie Buss

An engagement ring. PB&J isn't getting any younger, and ~~Hollywood~~ the NBA needs a good wedding story. Gotta get this one under way before the next annual hip installment.

Mitch Kupchak

We're actually not Cupcake haters over here, he's kind of like the current President of the United States - whatever - so we'll just give him permission to go to Camp David and uh, vacation or whatever.

Kareem Abdul-Jabar

A clue. He always looks so... bewildered or perhaps we should just get him a shiny pair of sunglasses?

Jack Nicholson

Finally, his own parking spot at the practice facility. Practice is pretty much the only thing Jack doesn't do for/with the Lakers, maybe this'll change his mind and he'll start actively contributing from the bench.

Lakers vs. Warriors

2007-12-09T18:17:00.000-08:00

A word before the game
Already a little tipsy, so the Forum Blue Drinking Game may not be a good idea tonight... especially considering Luke is out for the night (should he just get new ankles like Mihms?), and hopefully not for like 22 games or something like that. No Sunday Night Whites cause it's Throwback Night (wtf? they are cheating with the shorts)!!! It's been a quiet week really, so lets see if they can handle business tonight...

Tip Off
KB, LO, Drew, D.Fish, Radman, and we've got it!

1st Quarter
10:20 Looks like Radman came to play tonight.

9:08 Just accept it LO, just accept it.

7:05 They just hustled us out of the ball via shot clock.

4:56 Dear Golden State (hey wait, isn't that us too?) that's what happens when you're "doin' too much".

3:58 Oh shit Trev! Throw it down!

2:38 D.Fish is STILL on fire. We could get used to this.

1:53 Always a good time when J.Far shows up.

48.9 Kobe is off tonight, that can't be a good thing.

22.5 The Trev - a difference maker - is pulling his weight tonight.

31 tie
Why does Kareem always look like he's confused by life itself?

2nd Quarter
11:57 Uh... time out?

10:42 Ronny has on "throwback" socks.

Every time someone falls we yell out "Pimp Down!". You'd have to watch The Bad Girls Club episode 1 to understand that, but it's kind of great.

How cute are the Golden State uniforms with the shape of California on them?

5:20 Tonight on "Follow Through with Drew"...

3:27 Lamar's shirt is taking over for Luke's.

2:41 There's the KB to Drew we've been waiting for!

Even the announcers are commenting on shirt tucking... ahem Andrew!!!

1:somethingorother Kobe wants to sit down on the bench for a bit.

60-59 Lakers

Half Time
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. That's been the story of the first half of the game. That's boring to us. How about some action? Drew leads the team... in scoring, not fouls. Holla.

3rd Quarter
11:17 Arguing with the refs is always the best part of the game.

9:22 "Just a 20" PB&J.

8:24 For reals?

11-0 runs are only cute if it's to our advantage.

7:19 Good recovery D.Fish.

6:12 I'm not a rocket scientist, or a basketballologist but I'm pretty sure throwing the ball into the stands doesn't really do much for you these days.

5:42 D.FISH!!!!!

Okay, we hate mushrooms... if we never had to see the nastiness that is the Carlos Jr. $6 Mushroom Burger commercial again, it'd still be too soon.

3:47 How many times do we have to tell you "no pushing".

2:58 Holla Holla for Kobe. Workin' it!

4.6 Baron and Kobe dance.

92-86 Lakers

4th Quarter
11:43 There's the Jordan we've been missing tonight.

Pimp down! Ariza.

10:44 No feast for Ronny, but will it be famine? Nope, he just wasn't that hungry I guess.

7:57 Kobe and Baron are not friends tonight.

7:37 Radman for the make!

6:58 Kobe to himself for the make.

Oh my god, the other team has more turn overs than we do? It's a night of firsts.

5:08 Pimp down! Lamar... uuuuuuh, careful with the shoulder!!!

2:32 Nice one from J.Critt.

This is in the bag so we're done for the night... its hard to put sentences together in our state anyway, and then spelling? On to the final comments?

123 - 113 Lakers!

Final Comments
Our player of the night: Andrew Bynum. Just go look at his box score and you'll understand. He owned. Good job.

The WTF award of the night: The throwback jersey appearance minus the hot pants... seriously? If you're gonna throw back... throw back! Go big or go home ladies.

Lakers @ Nuggets

2007-12-05T17:54:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
We saw the game yesterday, no thanks to the fine broadcasting guidelines for San Diego County mind you, but with the team down and out we felt it unnecessary to comment on such ridiculous things as uniforms (okay not really, we were just lazy) and besides with no Drew how were we supposed to get our drink on?
Speaking of getting our drink on, for the rest of the season we'll be taking shots:
- Every time the game is broadcast on ESPN (make this one a double to get through the announcers).
- When the opposing team controls the tip off or jump ball.
Classy we know, but if people are going to be drinking to Intervention (we would never do that - honest) then we can drink to basketball.

First head shake of the night: Which of these idiots just said "... the Lakers are looking to snap a 3 game losing streak tonight?" Hi, they won last night.

Tip Off
Mihms, LO, KB, D.Fish and Luuuuuuuuuuuuke! Finally we get to see if the speculation is true that Luke is better as a starter. Aaaaaaaaand take a shot!

1st Quarter
9:50 Mihms is contributing!

6:08 IA (Idiot Announcers): Mihm seems to be warming to this team - you mean the one he plays on/with daily?

5:40 There goes dependable D.Fish again. In the whole.

2:49 Walton to Mihm, Mihm for the miss... we're trying here... real hard.

1:40 J.Far! He must have gotten up while we were on the phone planning Christmas decorating.

47.8 Kooooobe... don't push people down. Tisk tisk.

30.0 Bynum comes in, Melo knocks him over and then has a sit down to tie his shoes. Hmmm, that's less obvious that choking at least, right?

15.3 Hey, there's The Trev. Man, good night all around.

2.5 OH SHIT... KOBE GET UP!!

Okay that doesn't look good... looks like he's off to the locker room. How many people are going to end up on the ground tonight? Do we need to start drinking to that?

29-24 Lakers

2nd Quarter
11:28 J.R. Smith thought he was slick going around Luke and it's no good anyway. Just for that Luke threw it down on the other end.

Did you see Drew block that shit?

8:49 Yay, Kobe's okay, like Fish said, he's a warrior, but how cute was that little hand signal to whoever it was to?

7:43 Damn Radman, damn! Maybe he should just stand in that spot all night long?

6:45 Thanks for the shot Drew, we were getting thirsty.

6:31 - 6:06 Kobe with that crazy backward pass, too bad LO ruined the whole thing huh? But then we go after it again, and KB's shot looks a bit off, but no matter, Radman (the space cadet) gets it done! Holla.

5:01 Okay everybody point to your teams side of the court, last hand in the air loses.

4:42 IA: I've got a new name for the Cavaliers, the LeBroniers - are they honest?

4:22 Luke to Fish for the 3 for the miss. Luke to Fish for the 3 for the make. Just like that, they didn't even move their feet.

2:48 Player down!

2:10 Luke said, "I don't think so" for the block. Was that Luke? We were busy looking at our good friend Orangejello, we must find out who he is and ask him why he's so orange.

62-58 Lakers

Halftime
After much debate we've added an optional rule to the Forum Blue Drinking Game. Decide at the beginning of the game if you want to get tanked or just buzzed. If you answer tanked, then put this rule in play:
Pick a team. Each time a player from your team hits the deck, take a shot. If there's a 5-car pile up, drink if a member of your team is involved, double your drink if someone from your team caused the pile up. Can you tell we like to drink?

3rd Quarter
11:22 Kobe with the to-the-bench personal, but WTF? Iverson was just trying to get back at us for getting Melo ejected for his nonsense last week.

10:08 Luke with the to-the-bench foul, who's next? And how odd that this is not Drew we're talking about.

Let's get tattoos on our necks like Kenyon Martin!

7:58 Carmelo "Palmer" Anthony

We just realized there was no shirtwatch tonight, must be the Championship Gold that just can't be contained.

5:16 LO gets the to-the-bench foul. Oooooh, lets see if we can get the whole goddamn team to have this stat in their boxes.

2:02 Way to make the wide open Trev... oh wait...

34.9 Holla atcha boy J.Critt!

88 - that's the score.

4th Quarter
If either Fish, Mihms, or Jordan get another foul, I'll drink this entire bottle in honor of our 4 with 4.

9:13 Does Lamar Odom feel the extreme need to miss so many shots that I can't even notice the ones he makes? Is that a personal goal of his?

5:41 Goddamnit, Luke SHOOT!

5:14 Okay, but when you shoot, make the basket. This is like BBall 101 is it not?

4:24 Time to turn the bottle up... I think I'm gonna be sick :(

Dear Denver Fans,
While we think you are classes above Utah fans, we're sorta wondering why you're pointing to your Nuggets jerseys that you put on to honor the game you're sitting at. We know you like the Nuggets, now sit down.

2:20 Kobe to Drew just like back in the day. Now what?!?

2:05 Radman with the steal and the foul.

1:47 Lamar, shut your mouth, tell him Kobe, please.

Thank god we're not playing with the optional rule tonight, that bottle up drink courtesy of Fisher was ENOUGH! Btw, if Radman manages to get one more foul this game and everyone else keeps the same amount, there'd be a pretty cool column on the box score page. Something like: 4, 4, 4, 4, 3, 3, 3, 3, 3, 1

1:12 This just in, Kobe on fire, Denver not trained in firefighting.

23.2 Drew is a shot blocking machine tonight isn't he?

15.8 Me thinks that foul on Fish was a bad idea Mr. Nugget.

8.3 Dear J.R. Smith,
This is the NBA, not the NFL, no tackling please and thank you!

AI say: The Lakers end a 3 game losing streak - again with this? Nobody told them the first time they said this that they should probably check the records from last night? Idiots.

Final Comments
Our player of the night: Tough call, everyone was quite good tonight, but we're gonna go with Andrew Bynum. His shot blocking made us jump out of our seats more than once, plus without checking again we think he has the best over average tonight.

The Who Gave Them A Microphone award of the night: Whoever gave those announcers a job. Seriously, if they are going to pronounce names incorrectly and hand out false information on a national broadcast, they may as well let us be the announcers, at least we'll make you laugh.

Back to back wins on the road? So we CAN do it! Brilliant. Simply brilliant. Lets see what 3 days off feels like shall we?

Lakers vs. Magic

2007-12-02T18:02:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
There is no we tonight, it is just I. Longhorns @ Bears (you've seen the mascot right?) got off to an exciting start but I'll have to rely on the DVR to see how it ends. We agreed a long time ago that we like Josh Shipp (before we knew he was J.Far's roommate). "Lets jump Shipp". Is it advantageous to play the team you just got traded from? Wonder what Cookie, Mo, and The Trev have to say about that? I know he wasn't very contributing but I liked/miss Cookie a lot.

One last thing: SUNDAY NIGHT WHITES! Love those uniforms.

Tip Off
Kobe, Our Hero D.Fish, Big Drew, Rad Vlad & L-O L-O L-O L-O-V-E (yes, thats an Ashlee Simpson reference... forgive me)

1st Quarter
11:42 Get it Drew! Thats what we want to see all night long baby!

10:03 Radical!

6:43 Pretty low score across the bar so far.

6:19 Drew's first foul! I think his first foul deserves a shot. New game tradition.

6:11 Bye bye Dwight Howard.

And a nice little PS from our favorite announcers (thank God they're back - sorry ESPN), Drew has 2, go fig.

5:17 I'm going to refrain from Mihm hating and just wait until he produces something I can praise him for...

3:46 Kobe thinks he's at shooting practice? No complaints here.

3:28 Kobe just took flight to catch D.Fish's whatever you want to call that, may as well have been at half court and slams it in. Holla!

52.7 Looks like Cookie is already a Laker Hater. Knock KB to the floor and then stand there and look at him, good plan.

30-24 Lakers

2nd Quarter
11:52 Luke just went tap dancing on Mo's head. No hard feelings we swear.

Love watching the football passes.

8:26 Does Luke play so hard that his shirt comes untucked from movement, or does he order his shorts a size too large making it difficult for it to stay put? I really want to know... he's pretty much the only person who has this problem on a consistent basis.

7:39 Yes J.Far should have made that, but good hustle nevertheless Hustleman.

6:58 Kobe just nutmegged himself. I think someone else on your team was claiming that move already.

5:29 Drew just made a free throw in the middle of play. Effortless.

3:33 Kobe to Drew, "Here ya go." Drew to Kobe, "Thanks man, you're the best." They are so cute together.

2:47 Orlando just missed it 3 times in a row. Oops?

We're gonna have to get used to the fact that the boys rack up turnovers like they add to their own score or something.

1:31 D. Fish gets to redeem himself.

63-55 Magicians

Half Time
Lindsay Lohan seemed to be enjoying a quiet night in - only in LA can sitting courtside at a ball game be considered a quiet night. You can tell by the look on everyones face that they know what they need to do to get this done, but will they do it? Lets not repeat Utah, mmkay?
We learned some terminology today:
One Trillion (or any trillion for that matter)
Home Cookin'
And there's always a good time goin' on over at toomuch <-- you either know what that is or you don't. But phrase of the day has been "Duck duck duck duck duck duck boom tho!" That doesn't have much to do with anything other than the fact that I wanted to mention it. Hmmm, is it pronounced communiKAYtive or communiCUHtive?

3rd Quarter
11:05 (thats 55 seconds into the half) Drew gets his 3rd. Take a shot everytime he gets fouled for the rest of the season. Drew, don't get us love drunk off your humps please.

9:13 Fish is an effective but quiet player. He gets it done though.

7:27 See what I mean? FOR THE LOVE OF (&?) BASKETBALL STOP SHOWING US THE TWO SIDES OF DWYANE SPELLING ERROR WADE PLAYING BASKETBALL. THIS IS LA, WE DON'T CARE. K, THANKS.

4:15 Jump ball 'cause theys be brawlin', not ballin', brawlin' on the ground. Does Kobe take dance classes with his daughters to learn that fancy footwork? Dancing with the Stars anyone?

I'm glad somebody else thinks the Utah booing of Derek Fisher was as ridiculous, disrespectful, and disappointing as we did. Seriously WTF Utah?

What just happened in the FSN commercial where I think they were making LO (or was that Kwame? I was barely paying attention), LW, and DF "rockstars", but all they did was walk to the spotlight, look up, and then look at the camera? Note to self: Must go to Sports Chalet for roadtrip.

32.2 Get up Ronny... now stand up straight... that doesn't look very good :( Fix it Vitti! 77-75 Orlando - are they owned by Disney like the entire town they are from (even though knowledgeable folk know that Disney is in Lake Buena Vista NOT Orlando)? 4th Quarter
11:12 Somebody tell Jordan that he can socialize with The Laker Girls after the game is over.

10:54 Mihms for the make!

9:33 No comment.

Shirtwatch 2007 - officially we're going to take shots every time Luke's shirt is untucked now.

6:09 Kobe with the assist goes to the ground and LO drops it in.

5:12 Jordan DOIN THE DAMN THANG! No matter the outcome.

Shirtwatch: Only this time I'm pretty sure someone almost ripped it off of him.

Patrick Ewing got fat. I only mention this because people very very regularly think my dad is Patrick Ewing and um, I'm pretty sure that won't be happening again anytime soon.

2:25 Ronny has a concussion. Not happy.

1:44 There goes the tacos.

18.3 I'm not really sure how it is that we're set up to lose this one right now but that's what it looks like.

17.2 Fish or someone (I find it hard to watch this now) just took a seat at the scorers table. Why not rest right?

Hey, I thought we were gonna see The Trev play tonight because he knows the Magic's style?

104-97 Magic

Final Comments
Nice losing bookends for Saturday... as nice as losing bookends can be I guess. At least it wasn't a shameful loss though. Listen to some TuPac on your drives home gentlemen... Keep Ya Head Up.

Our player of the night: Derek Fisher. He may have only had a handful of points but he's so smooth with it. And he was such an amazingly collected person after being booed by the Utah assholes the other night and didn't let that affect him one bit, how could we not vote for him?

Proof that LA fans are better: Booing Lindsay Lohan who's obviously working on her "health" from the side of the court instead of booing people who put their family above little orange balls.

The Get Your Act Together award of the night: NBA.com and the UCLA Bruins tie.

Reasons we'd be ashamed if we were from Utah

2007-12-01T11:58:00.000-08:00

Anybody who saw the game last night knows that Utah won, in fact, Utah pretty much bent us over their collective knee and spanked us. Naturally any pre-established Utah Jazz fan should be rejoicing. And in turn, I offer a round of applause and a blessing from The Tabernacle Choir to the men of the Jazz for a job well done, without two of their star players in rotation.

Who doesn't get a round of applause are the "fans" who attended that game, and anyone else who would have liked nothing more than to be sitting there joining in the antics of the crowd. I'm sure everyone knows the Derek Fisher story by now, but just in case:

He was a Laker long long ago (remember the last handful of back to back championships?), then he went up the coastline for a brief stint with the Warriors. Warrior I'm sure he did, but he kept on going and landed in Utah for a good minute. When his daughter became ill, his nearly newborn daughter, he naturally put his family first and traveled to the best care he could find for her. The most heroic part of this tale comes on the day he was in New York by her side through treatment, immediately after it was over he flew back to Utah, suited up near the end of the playoff game they were in the middle of and threw it down!! winning the game for the Jazz. What a great guy right? Realistically he didn't need to rush back to that game. It's just basketball, and when compared to the life of a child where does it stack up?

At seasons end he respectfully asked out of his contract with the Jazz so that he could go work somewhere that allows him to focus more on his daughter's health, and the well being of his family. The Jazz being the stand up folks that they are, let him go. He landed back in Los Angeles and put his old jersey back on.

Flash forward to the first meet up in Utah since then on Friday, November 30th 2007. A night when you might think that Utah Jazz fans would be overwhelmed to see Derek Fisher, his daughter healthy. Nope. Okay, okay, the man is a great talent and it sucks that he's not there helping out their team anymore, okay fine, we sympathize with that. So it's understandable that they would not cheer for him, because they got their feelings hurt, and might even be a little bit scared that he could help the Lakers beat their home team. Nope. Utah chose instead to show just how caring they really are by booing him all night long. Now, I'm not saying they needed to make "We love you Derek Fisher" posters or anything, but how about the middle ground where they kept their mouths shut? How about sitting quietly in their seat until it's time to cheer for their own team? Hell, we wouldn't have minded if they'd just booed the entire Laker squad. Nope. Lets boo Derek Fisher for putting his family at the top of his priority list.

Not only was the booing obnoxious and distracting (although not for D.Fish - more on that later), but it was downright disrespectful. The fans should have been charged with a collective technical billed to the team for unsportsmanlike conduct. Furthermore, if we had been in the arena, trust and believe there would have been a whole lot less booing (and cowbelling) going on. After that showing we couldn't bring ourselves to support Utah in any venture any longer. Utah needing support for political campaigns? That's nice. Utah being booted from the United States? Oh well. We're not even making sense but at least we're not booing. What's next? Is Utah going to have a natural disaster and then boo FEMA when they come to help? Sounds like a positive experience to me.

Anyone who's already left Utah should be proud of themselves, anyone still there and not by choice (minors, hospice patients) should know we're praying for you, and anyone proud to boo for respectable human beings should walk with their heads hung in shame. Don't call yourself a fan if that's how you intend to act. Seriously. What is wrong with you people?

Stay classy Utah,
Ron & Burgundy

P.S., If PB&J had to apologize for making jokes about movies with homoerotic themes shouldn't these people have to apologize for being douchebags?

Lakers @ Jazz

2007-11-30T19:09:00.000-08:00

A word before the game:
Double headers are fun, we get to watch a bit of a game we would have never watched otherwise and make comments on people we don't even know... but then... you get to see (or not see, as it were) Smush Parker NOT with his team due to some parking altercation. What? You read that right. Isn't that just like Smushie? What's a Utonian D. Fish fan to do on a night like tonight... cheer for him or cheer for Utah? We're also really glad the boys aren't going to have on those yellow uniforms tonight- we like Championship Gold well enough but - Forum Blue all the way! It's prettier.
**Doc Rivers is about to smack somebody (the ref - we like her, she's feisty) over a jump ball shoulda been a foul situation.

Tip Off
Kobe, LO, Drew, Ronny and D. Fish who coincidentally has the opening ball and gets boo'ed. Guess that solves that mystery for confused fans. But we get the first basket so eat that!

1st Quarter
10:24 Time out already?

8:16 Oh, Utonians boo everybody and everything - it sounds forced.

Are those energy saving lights overhead?

3:42 Boring quarter so far but our current fave just got up, lets see if Walton rested last night...
(and Radman too for that matter)

2:59 Remind us not to go to Utah anytime ever, they are crybabies. Sorry the call is not getting reversed and we'll just bring in J. Far to piss you off more.

Note to all geeks: Mr. T does not play World of Warcraft in his spare time no matter how much they just paid him to pretend he does.

6.9 Did KB just drop the ball?

30-22 Utah

2nd Quarter
11:16 Hmmm, Walton on the floor, we're pretty sure Basketball is played in the vertical position. We keep going for the basket and they keep blowing whistles.

11:03 Reason #5 we like Stu and Joel better: They can pronounce Farmar.

8:40 Why does Luke's face seem to be saying, "What the heck am I doing in these blue but clearly purple shorts?"

Kirilenko... nothing to say about him, we just wanted to see how easy it'd be to type his name without saying it out loud at the same time.

8:00 Sasha fouled, good thing cause that shot wasn't going in anyway. Hey, Kobe's back!

7:07 We're down a lot, looks like PB&J is ready to start sending in the troops so we can make our end of the half push to get in the game for the first time. Will it work tonight?

6:08 Okay, we'll give Deron Williams a high five for playing like a champ, but we still don't like Utah.

Please visit testing411.org now so we don't have to see that commercial again. When you do you can watch a different and/or extended version of the same commercial - we're not sure, we didn't watch it.

3:25 Apparently as tired of Utah dominating the ball as we are, Bynum slows the game down and we watch big K shoot for free. This just in, it's more exciting when they have to work for it.

1:34 The difference between us and them: they rebound their own missed shots 2-3 times in a row, we apparently don't care about our missed shot balls.

70-51 Jazzy Jeff's

Half Time
PB&J should have a tacit conference in the locker room - they'll get the point. But how about starting Luke? It worked for him last night and we've got 20 points to go before we can be respectable.

Lets see if the boys can come out and make like The Fresh Prince and leave Jeff behind...

3rd Quarter
11:30 Nobody on KB and he takes it home.

8:33 So far our after half time surge hasn't kicked in. There's limited time to pull this off so um, lets get with it?

7:46 Not sure what that shouting is but it sure sounds like "Lakers suck!". Tonight, yes. Here goes the bench with their second try of the night.

Tonight we like Jordan's tattoo.

5:27 Kobe picks it up, tosses it over his shoulder and J.Far grabs it to throw it in while throwing himself out.

4:38 Here's a great idea: Let's keep sending the Jeff's to the free throw line. At least we haven't been Knicked yet =/

2:02 Mihms! It couldn't really get any worse anyway right?

1:02 Go get that Technical Luke!

Ouch, feels like we've turned on the boys, we have not, just remember that even bad press is good press.

102-82 Do I even need to tell you?

4th Quarter
10:12 This is the last chance we've got, pick it up or go sit down boys. Don't turn us into turncoats.

7:48 #4 just snatched it away and nobody saw it coming because he almost literally walked down the court, stopped, hopped up and put the ball inside the hoop while all 5 of the Jazz and the other 4 Lakers stood at the other end of the court puzzled.
To reward this excellence, J.Critt comes in and sends him to the bench for a sit.

5:24 It's not like we aren't trying... A for effort on that one.
Kirilenko is on the verge of of a 5x5. Whatever that is. Sounds impressive.

3:33 Kobe sits down because this game is over with. If you weren't sure, you could find further proof on Derek and Luke's faces.

Poor Ariza, he's the "Hey, this game is over go out there and have fun" guy.

1:something Jordan almost steals it, Utah takes it back, then we get it back and Jordan's still at the other end of the court this thing is moving so fast - so throw it aaaaaaaaaaall the way back to him and he drops it in.

120-96 Utah

Final Comments
Our player of the night: Jordan Farmar. 21 points, and the best hustle for the team make him a clear choice here. Plus he's cute.

Lesson of the night: People like to steal the ball.

It's also kind of awesome how: Bill Walton goes to great lengths to avoid talking about Luke playing basketball. Bill Walton is orange.

** Clearly commentary on another game is a little out of place but that's kinda funny, admit it.